My husband when drinking talks about his x wife how she wanted the divorce and he didnt ,He told me she got into drugs! Well I happen to find a website on court records and wow! The x after there divorce was jailed for 1st degree robbery and burglery ect.and had tons stuff on her record.They were only married 3 yrs.I didnt tell him I saw her record Im just shocked ! Why would he go on about her still?
2006-11-30 02:34:21 · 15 answers · asked by jessy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is part of his past, everyone has a past, even you. You knew about this when you met him, and there is nothing you can do to change his relationship history.
Men normally don't talk about feelings, but t hey do have feelings. You said that he talks about it when he is drunk, well, guss what, that's when anyone is likely to say stupid stuff or deep dark secrets.
She is long gone, so stop dwelling on the past and be happy with yourpresent and your future.
Good luck
2006-11-30 02:43:08 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You husband might know what happened to his ex wife as well, and feels guilty about not fighting harder, for not fighting for his marriage, thinking that it is some how his fault she is like she is, When some people are drinking they tend to feel sorry for themselves.
I don't want to offend any guys, but, some guys are a little tackles, it may be his way of telling you that he with stick by you, that he does not want to get a divorce, and that even though his ex got into drugs, he still wanted to be in there marriage and in his drinking mind it sounds good.
But the best thing you could do is talk to him drinking or not to find out where you stand. Second guessing about what goes on in someone elts mind is what causes a lot of breakups.
2006-11-30 10:50:26 · answer #2 · answered by eve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time always becomes the best sense. It's like the first love, the first car, the first work, the first marriage, and the first wife. You have to realize that, even you will not forget your first love, won't you?
Even though he can't forget his first wife, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. He realize that you are better than her, that's why he divorced her and married you. But sometimes the first sense is too strong to be forgotten. So, be patient to him, as well as he still does his duties as your husband, it's OK. And other thing is, he talks like that when he's drunk. Why should you listen to the drunk? Let him drunk and don't care about any words those he will talk. It's better for you than you feel suffer because of your curiosity.
2006-11-30 11:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by eddy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He loved her...and in his heart it looks like he never divorced her. It sounds like to him, his divorce was just a peice of paper. Sometimes when your in love with someone and they break your heart, it takes a long time to get over them. Even if you did tell him that she was arrested I don't think it would change the way he feels for her. Now, if I were you, the new wife, I wouldn't want him talking about her at all. He needs to keep his mouth shut about her when he's around you. Tell him it really upsets you when he talks about her and you would rather not hear about it.
2006-11-30 10:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by Corona 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very common for people to be in love with who they want someone to be. He remembers how she treated him, not her police record. You could try showing him her record, or you could try asking him how he feels about you.
You could also try going to Al-anon and getting him to go to AA. A key definition of an alcoholic is personality change when drinking, not necessarily the number of drinks.
Since he's not seeking her out, don't give up on him yet.
2006-11-30 10:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because he hurts. he was probably very in love with her, and as im sure you know, those kinds of feelings dont just go away, no matter how terrible your ex is. i would say youre very lucky that he feels comfortable enough to talk about those things with you. the fact that he does this while drinking says that its a very hard thing for him to talk about, and he needs to get it out. listen patiently, and take it for what it is, him venting his hurt. dont get hurt by it, hes married to you. he loves you, he just cant get over the pain of having someone he loved do that to him. dont mention it unless he does first, and keep in mind that its a very painful thing to get divorced from someone you thought would always be there. doesnt mean he wants to be with her, it means he wanted his marriage to be his first and only. thats a very good thing in a man, it means hell stay by you. i would be much more worried about him not giving a crap about his ex wife, that would show his whole heart wasnt in his first marriage, and probably isnt in this one. be patient, im sure hell get over it.
2006-11-30 10:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by sslowbliss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may be a criminal but lets face it your hubby still loves her. When people get drunk they often let some of their subconscious feelings come out and subconsciously he is still in love with her. Good luck with that one! It doesn't necessarily matter how much better you are as a wife/person you can't help who you love.
2006-11-30 11:01:35 · answer #7 · answered by Tanya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he misses her and the way she lived life. It goes both ways, there are a lot of girls and women who like that "bad boy" (trouble maker type), and maybe this guy, likes the "bad girl" life style. Many people are happy and secure in a "solid and secure" relationship, and some like to live on the edge, including living on the edge aganist law enforcement. (Princess or Vixen ??).
2006-11-30 10:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should not even be talking about her especially since he is married to you. Tell him he better stop or you will let him go back to the loser ex wife. If you have more class then that don't let him degrade you anymore.
2006-11-30 10:37:51 · answer #9 · answered by Venus 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hard as it may sound to you, but i think that your husband has not fully let her go. he hasnt moved on. It could be that he is still inlove with her after all those years ANd he might even be aware of WHO and WHAT kind of woman his ex wife was. the sad truth is that, even when you know these unimaginable things about someone you love, you are still willing to accept them. talk to him.
2006-11-30 10:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by camilla s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋