please explain how it made you feel to have the affair or to be cheated on
2006-11-30 00:49:37 · 28 answers · asked by Mother of Tae Kwon Do 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is purely curiosity. I am not interested in being either. I just know it happens and i wonder why
2006-11-30 01:01:05 · update #1
When people first meet they are each other's whole world. Many times as time goes by ,this desire for each other becomes shoved aside.Life becomes routine, and the sparks that once ignited a fire are allowed to die out. An affair creates that spark again, it returns the person to the reason we are all here. Love is first in their lives again. They feel special once more. The desire to make love is first and foremost the most important thing in their lives again. This is why people cheat.
2006-11-30 01:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Both.
I was cheated on by a guy who denied it to the end (even though I found two movie stubs that he had *hidden* lol and a condom wrapper in a room that I had cleaned the last time I was there). I was angry - and pretty much just angry - mostly because of the lies even in the face of the evidence I found. If he would have 'fessed up, I probably would have just been hurt.
I cheated on my first husband. He was abusive and a drunk and he told me often that I was ugly and no one but him would ever had me. I bought into that for a while - until I was working at this place and a guy used to come in and always sit in my section. He eventually started bringing me flowers and taking me to breakfast after my shift. I told him about my home situation and he encouraged me to get out. Having this guy show me that other men would be interested in me showed me that my husband was just desperately lying to me in the hopes that he wouldn't lose me. It gave me the strength to leave my husband. I was 23 or so at the time and not very mature. As I got older, I matured quite a bit and the moment anyone displayed those kinds of tendencies toward me, I got out of the relationship. I eventually got to the point where I wasn't even going out with people like that - my senses sharpened quite a bit. So while I, today, don't think that cheating is ever a "good" option (I think good mental health is far more effective than an affair), I have done it. It's not a proud moment in my life, but at the time it's probably what saved my life.
2006-11-30 01:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess you could say that I have a very poor taste in men or make very bad choices or something, I don't know what it is. But I have been in 5 serious relationships and one of those I got married to that last 17 years and ended in a divorce. I also had my 2 lovely kids from that marriage. But any way, all of these men that I have had in my life have ALL cheated on me. Some more than once. I have no clue as to what I was doing that was so wrong for them to cheat on me. I waited on all of them hand and foot pretty much, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, worked in the yard, worked in the garden to product food, canned it, was there for them any time that they wanted to make love, plus had a full time job outside the home. And yes they all still cheated on me anyway. Once I found out that they cheated on me, I would start griping at them about it and of course they would deny it all the way. Even though they knew that I knew it was very true. Then they would use that an excuse to "cheat" saying that I would gripe about everything. Well the way I see it is if they had not been cheating on me and helping out with the work around the house instead of out running with the other women, I wouldn't have a thing to "gripe" about. I'll tell you now that yes it does hurt like heck getting cheated on when you give it your all and for what...to be treated like crap and get cheated on. So what is the point of even trying at all. I have never cheated and will not ever cheat. People talk about the excuses as to why they do it, even though I don't, I think that I would have had a very good excuse to do it but instead of that, I just got out of the relationship all together and let them have their little thing that they wanted. To me by them doing that to me, they were no better than the trash that they wanted to cheat with.
2006-11-30 04:18:02 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I was cheated on, yes it hurts like hell and nothing is the same again. Much later had an affair with a married man, only because it suited me at the time. It fulfilled a need - nothing else. When I realised I actually wanted more I finished the affair and found a guy who could offer more than just sex.
2006-11-30 03:31:01 · answer #4 · answered by intelligentbutdizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never cheated but my hubby did cheat on me, A few years ago, I swear he went thru a midlife crisis .Found a younger woman, Signs were all there i confronted him, He told the truth, he didn't know why he was doing it or had done it, just that he wasn't happy, and he said he's 42 and didn't know where his life was heading..he stopped the affair when i found out, but he started to drink alot, every night at the bar..so i left him, we were separted about 3 months, but he would come around all the time and try real hard to win me back..He continually said he just don't know what happened, it was like he lost his mind,(hell Yeah he did dumb ***) Anyhow we ended up back together, It was one of the hardest things i ever had to deal with in my life, I was an emotional wreck, didn't trust him at all..That was 4 years ago..were still together, thing are better than they ever been..Trust is rebuilt to a point, i don't know if i'll ever regain 100% of the trust but its about 80% right now..But our love and communication is the best its ever been..
2006-11-30 02:34:47 · answer #5 · answered by Shem 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dusty,i am well pleased to say that i have never-in my life,had an affair in any of my relationships with women...and never will:-) This is because i have been brought up instilled with the values,morals and principals of my family,(January of 2007,mum&dad married 50YEARS!!).Whatever the causes of my previous relationship break ups,infidelity has most certainly NOT been a factor. However...i found out that my second to last g/f cheated on me-i have to say though that it did not hurt as much as it could have done,we had been apart for about 9months-so the hurt was lessened to a certain degree. Do i feel good?...ooooyeehh,and proud too!
2006-11-30 22:09:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never had an affair so i don't know about that,but my husband and i have been together for 8 in and half yrs.......for the first 2yrs my hubby cheated on me and i did not find out about it until after our son was 4 and he is 8 now.To be completely honest IT HURT LIKE HELL when i found out about it,b/c he DIDN'T have the nerves to tell me about ANY of the girls/women he screwed around with and one was at the time my 13yr old cousin!At that time my husband and i just got married and i had found out i was pregnant with my son,so needless to say i couldn't beat her ***,b/c she was 13 and i was 19 and pregnant!But the good Lord got them ALL,and is getting him now b/c he has had 2 back surgeries and maybe looking at a 3rd one!No,i'm not wishing on everyone that cheats or has an affair,but WHO EVER CHEATS OR HAS AN AFFAIR SHOULD BE ASHAME OF THEMSELVES B/C IT HURTS YOU IN THE LONG RUN AND THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH !!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the way the Lord with get you in his own way at his own time,rather it's now or later!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-30 00:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by bambi 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I was a guy who was in a relationship with someone else.
It happened because he and i were together and then we broke up and he got someone else and then he decided that he wanted me back. Then he decided that he was going to stay with other woman but wanted him and i to remain friends. I think it was because i use to give him money and he just wanted to stay in my pocket. It ended with me in alot of tears and having a disgust for him even though i loved him he was the first man that i loved.
I was cheated on. That ended in me becoming someone i had no idea i was and my crying my eyes out because i had loved him with all my heart and i gave him everything that he ever asked of me.
This is the same guy. The cheating happened before the affair.
2006-11-30 00:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had an affair because I was going through a mid-life thing. It was the worst mistake I ever made. It turned into a "fatal attraction" situation. The ***** was a total nightmare. I felt awful that I hurt my lovey wife. That was 4 years ago and I still thank God ( and my wife ) every day for staying with me. Since then i have given my wife expensive gifts and romantic vacations. Our sex life if fantastic and I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
Good luck.
2006-11-30 01:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Both... my now ex husband cheated on me first. I was devastated! I forgave him and gave him another chance about 1 year later he did it again. Then I felt hurt, betrayed, angry and stupid. We did work thing out so-so and managed to stayed together for 3 more years but I never trusted him again and I was never faithful to him after that. I didn't sleep around but I did have affairs. I think I did it for a lot of reasons... Spite, anger, excitement, desire and the feeling of empowerment.... Some childish I know... but it was my way of dealing with my feelings. I am not trying to justify just tryin to be honest.
2006-11-30 00:59:43 · answer #10 · answered by shughes2000_2000 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋