We have been married for 2 years, we have a house, 2 dogs, etc. The only thing missing is kids!! We both want them, im just soooo scared that we arent ready......anyone have words of wisdome?
2006-11-30 00:46:26 · 13 answers · asked by Kimberly M 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
All those big steps in life are always scary. Even marriage...you're sure this is the man for you, or woman, but you're afraid of actually getting married. Its normal and Okay.
First of all, make sure your finances are in order...also do you have the time and space for a baby?
Secondly, talk to your husand. This will make an impact on your relationship. How will you both handle someone in constant need of you day and night? Having children is a total blessing - I'd say just make sure you have the time, your house has the space, that your husband will be there to help, that your finances are in order... and if you can both agree you want children..but the only thing is being scared...well thats normal. Listen to your heart, if you feel you should wait a little bit more, thats a good decision too but don't let plain old fears bring you down...the only things that should defer you from deciding to have children are what I listed before, at least thats what I think.
2006-11-30 00:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by CoCo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if anyone can really, truly feel 100% ready to have children, so don't let that hold you back. The excitement you have and the commitment that you are both ready to make says a lot about your readiness!
My husband and I (who dated for several years) were married for six months when we found out I was pregnant and we had not been trying. It was a huge surprise and I was - quite honestly - terrified. HOWEVER...now we have a two month old baby girl and I can't imagine life without her! I didn't feel ready, but everything has come into place and the love I have for her is immeasurable. I am SO, SO, SO grateful that she is in my life and I wouldn't trade her for ANYTHING...even though, again, I felt that I wasn't ready at the time.
While I was very scared before, I am now happier than I have EVER been! Our daughter has made our marriage even stronger, and reminded us of what life is really all about...
Best of luck to you!
p.s. We also have a home and a dog to keep up with - you can do it! :o)
2006-11-30 08:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anne C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you are never really ready for kids. I have 4 of them so I know. It's a learning experience that when as they are growing up you learn along the way. It's fun though seeing their cute faces and expressions and knowing that you have an impact on their lives. If you want some experience find a friend or a family member who has a young child you could watch for a few hours. I do have one more thing to add. When you see that little face after you give birth your whole world changes and it's an instant unconditional love. I would never change the last 13 years for nothing. Good luck!
2006-11-30 09:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anna A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing can make you be ready for having a child. We were mariied for 6 months living in an apt. and I found out we were preg. Heck yes we were scared! But we hussled to buy a house and then the baby came. We managed and that was 8 yrs ago. It is the most wonderful thing in the world! But know this, you will never have enough money in the back to prepare for a baby, if you wait till that happens you will never have kids. You will always find a way to make it work!!
2006-11-30 10:14:45 · answer #4 · answered by Ana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opnion you can NEVER be fully ready for a chidl...you can prepare and prep all you want but I dont think you can every be actually fully ready. Financially- yes it is a good thing to be ready in that sense because babies cost lots of $ and emotionally you need to be ready for sleepless nights and the hormonal changes you are about to put your body through (dont mean to scare you) Having children is the best thing in the world and if you feel like you are ready for that commitment then I say your good to go :P You have been married a long time which shows stability, you have a house that shows responsibility as well as raising two dogs...so the main thing is being emotionally ready for another life
2006-11-30 09:39:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a baby is always scary. I was like you are right now, married, got a house, both of us worked (still do) we just didn't know if we were gonna be up to the task, you know? and all the sudden my bc method failed and I got pregnant. Altough It was not planned it has been the most wonderful thing and otherwise I don't think I'd be pg right now. It just seems like you keep putting all this other stuff in your life before a baby, because we always feel like we are not ready for it. We now talk and say we just needed that little push from mother nature. Now we are just so happy expecting our baby girl due in January.
2006-11-30 09:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the only thing scary about the whole thing is the labor itself..i mean, the thought of bringing a child into this world is exciting, yet frightening is because you don't know what's gonna happen after that..the pregnancy can be wonderful, yet painful due to you knowing you're gonna have a child..a little you..painful because of all the "growing" that you do...think about why you want a baby? if it's because you think that babies are sooo cute and innocent? if that's it, don't forget that they grow..if it's because you want that extra responsibility, and you know you can handle everything that'll come about, then you should be ready..parenthood isn't really all that hard, your mother instincts will lead you in the right way..and if you do become pregnant, the advice i give is: remember Luvs pampers work just as well as Huggies or Pampers...lol...cheaper and just as effective...i have 3..i know :)
2006-11-30 09:16:47 · answer #7 · answered by dre o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you are financially stable enough and have the room for a child, there's no reason to wait! Since you both want them, sit down and really talk about how its going to change your lives and if you are really prepared for that, then go for it. Change is always a scary thing, once you are large with a baby in your belly and your husband is making baby talk to your tummy, trust me you won't regret it :)
2006-11-30 08:56:45 · answer #8 · answered by Serendipity#2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will never be "ready". we went through that stage and waited. and yes there are benefits to waiting, but the disadvatages can be huge and expensive to fix. we have gone though two invetros and clomid for months and now we finally have a child. waiting is fine just don't wait to long. i'm still not ready and children (the responsibility) is still scary.
2006-11-30 08:56:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say just go with your gut feeling. if you don't feel ready then most likely you aren't. there is nothing wrong with waiting to have a child later on and you will feel much better about it when you are ready for it. good luck
2006-11-30 08:58:59 · answer #10 · answered by beautiful 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋