When do you admit your marriage is over?? My wife and I can't communicate anymore...
2006-11-30 00:35:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
11 years Sept 25th....5 kids
2006-11-30 00:59:26 · update #1
Don't come in here and lie. What, were your vocal cords surgically removed? Then learn sign language! It's not that you can't talk to each other, it's that you won't. Swallow your useless pride and start opening up. If she sees you making a sincere effort, she will too.
2006-11-30 00:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
How can you throw away 11 years of your life? You married that woman for a reason. Get a counselor and find that love that you think is lost. Communication is key in a marriage and when you stop communicating, you're headed for trouble. You need to get into couples counseling ASAP with your wife. Do it for you and do it for your family. They deserve a happy home and mom and dad that love each other. Think of why you fell in love with your wife in the first place. If there hasn't been any abuse or infidelity in your marriage then why not work on it? I'm sure you know by now that marriage is work and you'll be working on it forever. Don't throw in the towel just yet. You both can come out of this more in love and united than ever. Good luck!
2006-11-30 09:05:04 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, love is never enough to make a relationship work. Never.
All relationships take time, effort, commitment, shared values and interests. Think about it -- could you be friends with someone you never spent time with, never made an effort to contact, never had anything in common you would choose to do together? No, you wouldn't. So why would a marriage work without those qualities too?
If you are not communicating, why not? Do you spend no time together alone? Do you not have anything to say? Do you share no common interests?
Rather than giving up on your marriage, if you two still love each other or can reignite the love, why not take some effort to find ways to communicate? See a counselor. Read up on ways to romance each other. There are many ways to keep a love relationship going. IF you want to try. It's always easier to just give up.
2006-11-30 08:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by Karen L 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
When there is physical violence. Otherwise it's for better or worse. Try to make things work out. Get to the source of the lack of communication. Change something in the routine so that the marriage becomes a priority. If it is something simple like you like porn, chat rooms, my space, flirting, etc.... Then just drop it. Get rid of the net. Start making plans to be together. You have to figure out when it was that you both stopped being "friends". Work on that and eventually you will get back on track.
2006-11-30 08:40:43 · answer #4 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem is that you confused lust for love when you were married. I think most people do. That is why the divorce rate is so high. As the lust from the hormones running free and hot steamy sex wore-off you found out you have very little other in common with each other. That is why you don't communicate. You have nothing to communicate about. I think allot of people are in love with "being in love". The romance part (lust) of a relationship, and they don't understand what truely loving someone, and truely being loved is.
Love is what happens when you find that you have stuff in common with, and are compatible with in daily life, somone you have great sex with, also.
Many times, by the time you figure this out your relationship has gone from lust to codependence and you confuse that with love, too. You're scared of losing the other person, but you are completely miserable.
You two need to go to professional counseling and figure this out for yourselves. Is this relationship something you both want to fix and keep, or is it beyond saving. A professional marriage counselor can help you figure that out in a non-judgemental, refereed environment.
Good luck.
2006-11-30 08:50:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Communication is the KEY to every relationship. You should probably try Counseling with a professional and let them be the Mediator. That way the Doctor can give advice to communicate better. If that don't work try talking one-on-one and if she don't listen then its time to move on cause its a problem.
2006-11-30 08:39:46 · answer #6 · answered by bigdaddy052171@verizon.net 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you both want it to work and you both love each other then get some help, see a councilor. You both have to sit down and work out if you can live without each other get out of this rut of no communication. Is there a reason you are not communicating like health changes?, hormone changes?, a major upset? You say "when love is not enough", so you are telling me you love each other, so why not try and get through this rough patch? I wish you both luck and happiness
2006-11-30 08:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by angel 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When you have exhausted every option, Communcation is very important in a marriage,try opening the lines to communication again, sometimes its easier to just quit than to put effort back into the marriage..I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you make..
2006-11-30 08:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by Shem 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you can't communicate, you have nothing anyway. Maybe you need to go to counciling or something if you want your marriage to work. If you don't want it to work then you have nothing to stay married for.
2006-11-30 08:42:07 · answer #9 · answered by CHEROKEE 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Find the reasons which made you two feel this way .... find them , admit them , and solve the problems ..if you want to keep this marriage
2006-11-30 09:11:54 · answer #10 · answered by alina d 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋