If people really did get married because they loved each other than why..?

Question

do they end up getting divorced in less than 5 yrs!! ? and also if their marraiges do make it till 5 yrs they get a divorce after that!
makes one think, they just get married to get a divorce! An Indian marraige would last for a lifetime anyday ! its amazing.

Answer 1

i think when you are in love it seems a natural and expected thing to do. but the truth is that most people focus so much on the wedding and give very little thought to the actual marriage. its a lot harder than people think. then add to that the fact that people don't respect marriage like they did years back. people will approach a married man or woman and give little or no thought to the fact that the other person is married. it all comes down to how well you know each other, how much you trust each other and how much respect you have for the other person.

Answer 2

I think it has something to do with the fact that we grow through our experiences in life. So much so, that you sometimes grow away from the one you love, and want different things than you did 5 years previously.

Unfortunately, love cannot conquer all, and divorce is then the only option. I often think - How can you love someone so completely and utterly today, and hate them so intensely a few years later!? It is a sad part of life, and those that do last, are either very lucky, or just content to float through life without wanting anything more. You don't get married to get divorced as such, but you know that the option is open. I think they should make it HARDER to get married in the first place.

As to an Indian marriage, I stand under correction here, but I think that they are brought up differently than other cultures. They are taught that marriage is a commitment, and there is NO escape. The women tend not to be AS independent as other girls, and are therefore content to be a wife and mother, without wanting more. Unfortunately, us independent gals are not content to be skivvy's and slaves to our men all our lives, and thus the divorce rate in the world.

Answer 3

I once had a sociology professor that said throughout history marriages have lasted for an average of 7 years. Before marriages ended due to short lifespans, now they end due to divorce. I've never seen stats on this so I don't know how true it is. My personal belief is that people mistake affection, lust, and/or need for love. These feelings are temporary. Love can also be temporary. Think of someone you loved as a teenager or young adult now you have nothing in common and can't believe you were ever with them. We grow and change. It takes a lot more than love to keep people together. Marriage is hard work. There are good and bad periods. Unfortunately we live in a disposable society. When things get difficult we leave. You don't see this in other cultures because often marriage is based on more than love. When arranged marriages are common the unions are based on other qualities such as common interests and financial mergers. They can be mutually beneficial for both parties. If they are fortunat love will grow out of that. Also many cultures are less accepting of divorce and that can make it a more difficult choice for the people to make. I must make one comment though. I believe that if there is physical or emotional abuse a person needs to get out of the relationship regardless of the culture.

Answer 4

i am getting married next month & it is an arranged marriage.
me & the girl like each other but we are still far from being in love.
i guess in india people are totally committed to making things work after marriage so even if there are huge issues, they keep together.
however in the western world, they are not that committed- they feel that if they don't love the other person they can divorce them.
moreover divorce is so normal in western society that it is not a bad thing. despite becoming very modern these days, a divorce is still not accepted by society or family. if u divorced in india, u have no social status, esp. if u r a woman- it is like u have done a crime.
arranged marriages are the most successful b'coz in this kind of marriage the couple generally has some sort of liking & understanding to each other but they do not completely love each oother. the love will follow after marriage. (most of the times)
when a couple decides to get married, i think they should be fully committed to each other for life & ready to put up with any **** of the partner. also in arranged marriages (very common in india) the couple does not have overexpectations of each other & hence the love will grow slowly after marriage. However, in a love marriage, love reaches its maturity long before marriage & when they get married they even expect more perfection from their partner. this then results in disappointments, upsets, frustration, fights, etc. & one fin day divorce.
it's a pity that so many people get divorced.

hey desert rose, where u from? r u from india? do u truly believe in marriage? r u married? i am getting married in 4 weeks in india & could need some advice/help from someone. My e-mail is [e-mail].

Answer 5

I've thought the exact same thing too. You see celebrities who get married and divorced all within a one year period. Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush for example annulled their marriage after just five months. I think sometimes, people do really love each other when they get married, but after that, the love may fade when they find out things that don't like about thier spouse. Things like lack of communication and busy schedules leading to too much time spent apart and of course, infidelity are some of reasons why these couples end up getting divorced. Also marriage requires a lot of work, committment, mutual respect and compromise and some couples don't realize just how much of this is true when they enter into a marriage.

I'd really like to believe that you only get married once and that that marriage is forever. I hope it's the case for me and all of you, married or unmarried. I'm only 19 so what I said here is just what I think.

Answer 6

A marriage that lasts forever is not necessarily a happy marriage. Lots of third world marriages last forever, but it's because women don't have financial opportunities that allow them to be independent. That's not exactly something we should aspire to.

As for divorces, people naturally grow and change. Two people may meet and fall in love, but they don't stay the same. They grow and change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, and sometimes they're neither better nor worse, only different, and sometimes when people change, they find that they're not in love with who their partner has become, that they're no long compatible. That's all it is. And these days, people have choices. Women don't have to stay married just because society says they must. They're allowed to walk out of bad marriages.

Answer 7

When you are in love, you can't wait to get married and spend your entire life with him/her. What one does not realise is that STAYING MARRIED, requires more than love alone. It requires communication , understanding, tolerance, patience and even sacrifice.Effort from both parties to work the marriage is very important. Perhaps, many is prepared only for the roses (i.e. the sweet things) of marriage but not the thorns (the reality) that comes with it . But the truth is, it's a package. I should say marriage is not a bed of roses. You can appreciate the beauty of a rose better only if you can also accept the thorns .

Answer 8

The problem is that people do not get any outside input before they get married. When people marry in most churches, they have to meet with the clergy and he acts as a counselor to see if the two are really compatible. You don't have to believe in God or go to a church to have a good marriage, but, if you don't, you should see a counselor before you get married. It's amazing what questions they ask that get you thinking

A friend of mine was shocked when their priest asked her fiance, "Have you seen 'Mary' at her worst?" And, without skipping a beat, he said, "I sure hope so." It's certainly not the answer that would make me happy, and I would have to wonder what the future would hold with a man like that.

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Answer 9

that's not true. not all marriage like that. ... well I can say now I lot of people they get surprises when they get marriage. because its really hard. in India or eny other middle Eastern culture. its for life time because devourers is shame. my parents been married for life. u r parents too. and Lot. what end up getting divorc. I believe Any kinda of relationship end up with divorce. its just shouldn't be begin to married from the first time. me personally I wouldn't married if Iam ganna devorce. but life could change people change. u never know . what change happened.

Answer 10

They may have been in love when they got married, but they get selfish and when things don't go their way instead of working at resolving these conflicts, they run, instead of facing them head on. The problem with so many divorces is in a marrage, either 1 partner or both put themselves first, and think it's all about me, instead of thinking about their spouse and their spouse's feelings and needs before their own. They only care about themselves. And because of it, it causes divisions in marriage.