What are the best forms of office revenge?

Question

I have a friend in need of help:

As some of you know, I am leaving my job today.

Over the past two weeks I have pretty much exhausted all the skiving opportunities to be had in this place including Post-It origami and forming a steel band with the filing cabinets.

Now I turn to you lovely lot to help me decide the best way of having my revenge on the petty, bitchy, inbred motherfathers in my office.

Suggestions on a virtual postcard please.

What are your best (LEGAL!) tips for office revenge?

xx

Answer 1

If you're gonna get an individual do what I did, stitch up the sleeves on their jackets. for the general office put boot polish on the ear part of the phone hand sets, then take out the cord from the base unit wrap tape round it and put it back in then when their phone rings and they lift it up not only do they get a black ear from the boot polish but will also think that they are getting strange phone calls. glue stationery to the desk. put some laxative (not very strong one) in the coffee jar!

have fun and get the ballesteros back!

Answer 2

I worked with a guy who was the best salesman in the region, so he won a car for top figures. But on the sly he was setting up his own business and stealing customers from the company. He found out one evening that the GM had found him out and he would be sacked in the morning. So he went to the garage, picked up the spanking new Saab, took his kids to school, drove to the office, went in and got sacked. The car lost value cos it was then second hand, garage wouldnt take it back, company was left with it, GM was well and truly suckered. the rest of us are still laughing.

I suppose thats a bit specific though, it'd be a bit of a coincidence if it fitted your situation!

Answer 3

Superglue the phone handset to the base (if you have a phone each)

Take some of the letters out from keyboards and swop them round with others so they end up with 2 or 3 same letters each

Hide prawns in their drawers when you leave where they can't find them for weeks

Send round an office memo from the office manager saying they haven't contributed enough to your leaving present and to add more to the box on your desk.

Answer 4

Ask your boss for a word in private. When you are alone begin to tell him/her that you really appreciate the help they've given blah, blah, then suddenly scream and run out. When they follow you out accuse them of fondling you and making a pass and that you will be suing them in tribunal. Then simply walk out the office - boozer bound. Its not pretty but it is one way to leave with a final f*uck u to your boss, and the numbskulls who remain working there have malicious gossip aplenty.

Answer 5

If you can do it.......

get some fish from your canteen, and hide it in some tissue behind the radiator, or somewhere warm where no one will notice.

pee in the kettle.

delete some files on the computer.

adjust everyones chairs when they arent there.

send a global email but set it send send a week from today.

the fish one is the best though.... hehehe

good luck x x

let me know what you do

Answer 6

it particularly is enormously severe. My niece exchange into under pressure like this in tenth grade, and she or he ended up chucking up the sponge to get faraway from it. She did ultimately get her GED, and now she's in her 20s and attending community college. besides, you shouldn't attempt to deal with this harassment on your man or woman. you decide on adults on your area. do no longer do various the failings suggested here that contain sources harm, etc., because of the fact as quickly as you do this, you're able to have become a thug, too, after which you ALL bypass to juvie. you're able to be harm, intentionally or accidentally. you're able to call in an person which will help you. what variety of faculty do you bypass to that would call your dad and mom with this way of rumor-mongering? are you able to alter colleges? talk on your dad and mom concerning the SEVERITY of this harassment. tell THEM WHAT you decide on. you do no longer owe absolutely everyone evidence which you're a virgin, for God's sakes! you do no longer could be a friggin virgin to deserve risk-free practices from harassment. the college place of work added rumor-mongering to the unique problem of those boys menacing and harassing you, and unfavorable your solid call. you realize what? you're able to sue the lads, their dad and mom, and the college for this! If no longer the rest, in case your dad and mom won't help you, make a police document, and get a protecting order against those men. that gets the adults in touch. do no longer proceed to objective and cope with this on your man or woman. it particularly is already long previous previous somewhat extreme college conflict. yet talk on your dad and mom first--you decide on them to be in touch here!

Answer 7

I messed up the filling syetem big time and throwed away files which I knew whould make there life's difficult.

Answer 8

Put syrup of ipecac in the coffee.

http://www.utmb.edu/setpc/ipecac.htm

.

Answer 9

Getting out of there and leaving them all behind.

Answer 10

Make up and spread subtle rumours about everyone so you set them all against each other...they'll be pettily bitching for many years to come....muhahaha