Never been to a funeral?

Question

My nana died on Tuesday morning and I'm still reeling. They have to do an autopsy so likely the funeral will be next week. I've never been to a funeral. What happens? I've bought a black trouser suit, is this acceptable?

Answer 1

First funerals can be very daunting especially if it is a close family member. Black is usually the colour to wear to a funeral although i usually wear grey or beige. my grandad never wanted me to wear black so i wore grey to my first funeral

as to what happens at a funeral.
on the day of the funeral you will go either in funeral cars or in your own car following your nans coffin. this is quite upsetting so either cry or look out the side windows so your not staring at it.
when you get to church/cremetorium you will stand outside the main entrance whilst the funeral directors carry the coffin in.
you and your family will then follow the coffin into the church/crem and sit in the front few pews. the service will take place and then the coffin will be taken out or lowered/pushed back in the case of a cremation. then you go outside to veiw flowers or buiry your nan.

after the funeral you see all your rellys that you haven't seen for ages and hear the phrase i havent seen you since you were this high. etc.

if you would like to talk to me more about this or want any help with coping with your nanas death don't hesitate in emailing me @ [e-mail]

Answer 2

A funeral is usually quite a short service. It could happen in a church or directly in a chapel in a crematorium.

The coffin will arrive in a hearse, with close family in cars behind. The family will process into the chapel behind the coffin, with the other mourners joining behind. Everyone may stand while the vicar makes a short address.

There will be prayers, readings, and possibly a couple of hymns. A family member or the vicar may say some words about your nana.

When the service is over, everyone files outside and this is an opportunity to talk to the people who have come to pay their respects.

A black trouser suit is fine. Dress should be sombre but don't feel you have to wear all black, especially if your nana's favourite colour was red.

I'm sorry for your loss. A funeral is not a pleasant thing to go to but in some ways it can be helpful too.

Answer 3

Yes, black suit is good for funeral.
As a request that you should have to see that how the process will be gone, what is the reason behind it etc etc.

You will get good information..!!

Answer 4

Black trouser suit is fine. If your family are very traditional and its in a church, they may expect some kind of head covering but I think that would be unusual these days. Also, I would suggest a low heel as you may be feeling wobbly and especially if you will be walking on grass.
Most funerals have three parts - the service, the burial or cremation and the social event afterwards.
Families often gather at the house. There may be one or two cars for close relatives. Up til now it may have seemed all a bit unreal but this is usually when the hearse will arrive and you see your nana's coffin so be ready for that. There may be a limo for close relatives. You may walk to the church or crem or go in someones car. Then you have the ceremony.
Sometimes everything takes place at the crematorium and at the end the coffin slides away behind some curtains.
Sometimes the service is in a church and the burial will be in the church yard outside but usually everyone gets in cars and goes either to the crem or to a cemetery for the interment.
Afterwards it is usual to go to a hotel or pub or to someone's house. Typically there will be sandwiches and snacks and tea or alcoholic drinks. People may share memories but quite often they catch up on family news. If the family are church goers the vicar is often invited back but they often decline as they have to go on to another ceremony.
Finally, it is a good idea to arrange for a neighbour to stay and look after the house while everyone is at the funeral as sadly there are crooks who scan the papers for death announcements.
I am very sorry for your loss and I hope you find the funeral ceremony gives some comfort.

Answer 5

hi there
so sorry to hear of your loss. I am a funeral services arranger, and have talked through this so many times to the bereaved. You will find on the day that all you will have to do is grieve in your own way. The funeral Director will sort out everything, and you and your family will have nothing practical to deal with. If it is at a cemetery then there will be a short service round the graveside, if at the crematorium, the the service will take place in the chapel, if not going into church before hand. A black trouser suit is absolutely fine, dress code is not as stringent as it used to be.All the best for the day, and you will get through it x

Answer 6

The type of funeral your Nana will have can depend on her religion. One common feature of funerals though is that they're always sad affairs. Sometimes people have asked not for black to be worn at their funerals but since your Nana hasn't request this a black trouser suit is very respectable.

Answer 7

Sorry to hear about your Nana. A funeral tends to be a service in a place of worship, followed by a burial/cremation and then a wake, where you celebrate that person's life.

I understand you want to do all the right things, and yes, a black suit is more than OK, but remember, you're only there for your Nana. Do what would've made her proud, and you'll be fine.

*hugs*

xx

Answer 8

A black trouser suit sounds fine.
What happens depends on whether there's a church service and whether it's a burial or a cremation. Don't worry. Funeral arrangements allow for the fact that people don't go to very many of them, so there will be plenty of guidance on what to do.

Answer 9

My sincere condolences to bear the loss of a loved one is very hard. A black trouser suit is quite correct for a funeral if you can find a small top to go underneath in your nan's favourite colour do it you will then have done something for her and not conformity. Be strong and remember her as she was and all the good things she did for you.

Answer 10

Sorry to hear that, just remember all the good things about her and it will help you through.

Your black suit will be fine, I don't think anyone will be thinking about it though.

The service depends on where its happening, if its a burial or a cremation. I have been to a few, and not one is the same, bar the crying. Our family always makes sure we go for a good drink afterwards and try and have some fun as the person who has gone probably wouldn't want you mopping about.

Hope it all goes ok.