I am so overwhelmed by the backtallking, and being so lazy with chores, getting up in a bad mood, "nothing good to eat", everyday, I feel like all I do is argue with him and ***** at him to do his chores, the same thing everyday.
I know I'm whining, how do I calm myself down and deal with with him?
2006-11-30 00:11:04 · 9 answers · asked by tamilynn 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
talk to him to an orderly manner ask him if he have a problem then talk to him about it. you can't just shout and shout up to your lungs cuz you'll make yourself an idiot for that.
2006-11-30 00:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by Pierrot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably start by establishing some rules, what's expected of him. That way you all start on the same playing field.
Then, explain about consequences. That if he behaves in a certain way (ie disrespectful, doesn't do chores, etc.) he will lose privileges. Remind him that these things are privileges, not rights.
Remind him that you are willing to discuss anything with him if he will approach the conversation in a calm, rational manner and will give you the opportunity to have your say, as well.
Also, when he does do something right, make a point of acknowledging it, praising him, saying thank you. After awhile, if he keeps up the better behavior you could reward him with something... something that you give him or let him do just "because you think he's earned it or deserves it."
Be firm and hold your ground. He needs you to do that, but as calmly as you can. If he starts shouting or whining, just say you won't talk to him when he's like that... to come see you once he's settled down and you'd be happy to discuss anything at all with him.
I hope things get better.
(Separately, please be sure to go to his sporting events, if he's on a team, or to watch him sing/play if he participates in something at school. Care about his schoolwork, help him understand how important education is. Tell him you're there to advocate for him if he needs anything at school, that you're on his side, etc.)
2006-11-30 08:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by Shars 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You keep saying him so I am assuming you are dealing with a 12 year old boy. I am going to go out on a limb and say he probably likes video games and might even have a cell phone. So, take those things away and while your at it you might as well take away the tv. Tell him you want him to go to school come straight home do his homework eat and go to bed at 8:30. Do this for a week and we'll see how that attitude changes.
2006-11-30 00:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set down with him (before he starts acting up) and explain to him that his behavior is unacceptable. This may open a door for him to talk about what's going on in his head. Let him know that if he continues to behave poorly, there will be ramifications.
Start taking away his privileges. Then take away his belongings. Eventually, he will figure out it is easier and more pleasant for him to just do as he is told than to loose his things and freedoms. If that doesn't work, have him talk to a school counselor or a therapist.
2006-11-30 01:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop arguing with him. If he does do what you ask him then take something away. It is harder for you to tell him no than it is for him to tell you no! If he wants a few bucks to go to the mall... NO! do your chores and we will talk...New shoes? NO! get the idea... I bet the chores will get don't. And your blood pressure will go down from not arguing. lol
2006-11-30 00:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by lepluver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the start of puberty! He is not doing this on purpose to get you on a rampage. Preteen is almost as bad as teenage years, but a little calmer. My daughter is going through this right now and it's hard to deal with. We go on monthly dates for her to talk to me and to tell me what is going on with her...she usually doesn't talk much, I do most of it...telling her I know what she is going through and I must be getting something right, because her attitude changes (for the most part) after these talks and she is always asking when our next one is.
2006-11-30 05:38:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the club! I hear "Theres nothing to eat" everyday. You just need to learn to pick your battles is all.
2006-11-30 01:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just keep kissing his @ss
2006-11-30 00:15:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
How old are u????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-30 08:23:39 · answer #9 · answered by burem_20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋