i am a married woman with 2 kids. my hubby and i have gone through a lot and now he doesnot sleep with me for the past 5 years. he says that it is FIBROMAKLGIA andhe has it. thats why he doesnot even hug me. he stays with me for the kids and i have been living this solitary life for 5 years. a year back i fell in love with a wonderful man but he said that he cannot accept me cause he doesnot want to break my family. now he said he can only accept me as his lover, nothing more. i never had physical relasionship with him and after his rejection, i left him.now i am so depressed!i dont know what to do!the man i love cannot have me and the man i have does not love me. will i be a loner all my life? my hubby wont go to counselling or give me a divorce. he will stay like this(no affection),for ever.
2006-11-29 23:41:55 · 18 answers · asked by atahsina 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hubby doesn't have to "give" you a divorce. You can file for one on your own. Any husband who has no physical intimacy with his wife for 5 years is not a husband. Speak with a lawyer. The marriage is over.
2006-11-29 23:44:01 · answer #1 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't give you a divorce, does he have a choice? If you want one just get one! Its time you take care of your own happiness and get out of there and live your life like a normal girl. Get lawyer and take steps. Cheating is not the answer and not having sex is just as bad, I will die! Go out and meat new people and tell him what you are doing and be honest maybe then he will consider a divorce without a battle. His unhappy you are unhappy and it affects the kids. It's now or never, going for 10years. 5 Years is long very very long, you've tried and it didn’t work. Good Luck
2006-11-30 07:49:03 · answer #2 · answered by confussie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of things going on here. From where I'm sitting I'm asking myself why you are letting these men decide your future? Why aren't you taking control and shaping your own future?
I think there are other underlying problems here, probably to do with your self esteem. If you work on this you may find the other problems solve themselves, as you may be able to decide that you don't want to be with someone who doesn't love you, and nor be with someone who doesn't want you.
It is not a question of whether you will be a loner, as if this is some thing that may just happen to you. You have the power to change your future, if you are prepared to take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
2006-11-30 07:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by Sally E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what fibro-whatever is, but your hubby is a boy, not a man. Smile, find another place to live, pack your bags and walk out. Don't speak to him again untill he agrees to counseling. Set an appointment with a counselor, tell him to be there. If he's not there, the counselor can help YOU. But make it clear, that you will NOT accept this kind of life.
2006-11-30 07:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by i8thr2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are worth more than this, obviously he isn't in love with you so leave him. You go out and get the divorce, as for the other man you fell in love with boot him out of your life as well they are both a waste of space in your life. Get a fresh start and meet new people by joining single parents clubs or join the gym it will make you look and feel great. Remember you are worth more and anyone that is negative in your life kick them out of it. I'm sure you are a beautiful lady. Good luck x
2006-11-30 08:15:04 · answer #5 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is hard! Going out and finding temporary comfort is not a solution. You guys really need to see a councilor to hash this out with a third person, that is not easy for me to say, I don't really think you need a mediator to talk but this a case I feel it is best to have one. If this marriage cannot be saved then I am truly sorry for your family but it is not fair to either of you including the kids if you guys are not happy together. Please seek some professional help and Good Luck!
2006-11-30 07:55:55 · answer #6 · answered by yonksbutterfly4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has a difficult illness, that can be overcome with the right treatment, there is no reason for him to turn his back on you. You need to think of the children, they know that the two of you are not close anymore.
Move on & find happiness, you don't need to be in this situation anymore.
Good Luck.
2006-11-30 08:02:45 · answer #7 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him out. what do you mean he wont. you have to make him go. if you dont you will feel like this forever and this other man is no good he just wants sex. be on your own for a bit. or choose to spend the rest of your life with someone but feeling alone.
2006-11-30 07:45:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that if you do not want to divorce, do not take on a lover. You must endure it and focus your energies on other things. Life has a way of making things work out , though sometimes ., it takes much patience.
2006-11-30 09:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to therapy! Nobody is worth dying over! You are better than that; and your kids need you! Calm down and realize your own self-worth. Don't let another human being define who you are; you got to live for yourself! Good luck....
2006-11-30 08:11:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋