i think this is a good idea but i often get tripped up when talking about my family to people - and then i feel like nobody really knows me because i cant tell them this. worse, i am getting a phd in psychology!
2006-11-29 23:35:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I'm asking because I can't tell people close to me... I see no need to tell a stranger or acquantence.. but if i ever get close to someone, date, etc...i dont want them to think i have the same tendencies.
2006-11-29 23:49:21 · update #1
This is tricky but if you wait until you know the person for a while, maybe you can say something. It's true that nobody can truly know you w/o knowing bad things that have happened, so it's difficult....im not sure what to say. Ironically, in psych phd programs, people tend to be the less tolerant of mental illness than you'd expect.
2006-11-29 23:47:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no rule that you have to share family history or things that are kind of secret with other people.
If everybody told everything to everybody else about what goes on in their families, well, there would be a lot of talking!!!
Show me a family who has no skeleton in the closet and i'll show you a family who doesn't have a closet... well, something like that.
Seriously, it sounds like you want to share this but can't because you are afraid of what people will think. A family member commiting suicide casts a certain shadow over the remaining family and, yes, there is a stigma - whether real or imaginary makes no difference.
don't feel like you have to tell but if you feel the urge to tell, go ahead, take a deep breath and talk about it. you will feel relieved to be able to talk about it. you will probably find that some people don't care, some don't even listen, and some -a few at least - will be sympathetic and say, "yeh, i had a family member, too..."
suicide is not that uncommon. it is terrible, it can humiliating and haunting...but it is a fact...
God bless!!
2006-11-29 23:46:48 · answer #2 · answered by happy pilgrim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel there is a stigma attached to the fact that one of your family members committed suicide? This is not something that reflects on you as a person. My brother committed suicide in 1986 and my cousin committed suicide in 1992. I have yet to hear anyone comment on my family that could be considered anything but sympathetic about the loss of my family members. Have you spoken to your therapist about your inability to speak openly about this? You know it isn't your fault that someone in your family was unable to deal with their own demons.I certainly don't think less of you because you lost someone dear to suicide. I feel badly about your loss.
If you are going for your phd in psych you are going to have to address this one head on don't you think?
LL
2006-11-29 23:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by LeapingLizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let me say I'm sorry for your loss. Suicide is a stigma in some cultures. What a person needs to focus on is that the suicide was not OUR choices, but THEIRS.
2006-11-29 23:38:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are comfortable and know the people, it's none of there business. No, there is no stigma, however the "strangers" do not have the "need to know" and are only curious. True friends already know and don't have to ask.
2006-11-29 23:44:35 · answer #5 · answered by patches 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is better to live things alone.I would only open up if it helps you deal with it.Might scare some off,they may think your suicidal that scares people.You are studying for a PhD,let sleeping dogs lie as they say.
2006-11-29 23:40:58 · answer #6 · answered by one10soldier 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you bother other people with your problem? And obviously you have a problem, as you think that nobody really knows you if they don't know about the suicide....
Of course, when you feel the need to talk about it, you should. Consider therapy.
2006-11-29 23:40:08 · answer #7 · answered by Sue_C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, well, everybody does this. we ommit certain things from our lives. I've got a similiar situation. It's kind of an embarrassment or shameful feeling that keeps me from telling anyone. I've been okay with it for a while, but I fear how others will react, and how they will think of me. good luck.
2006-11-29 23:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you? Just say they passed and it was a difficult illness - which is true (albeit sudden and self-imposed).
2006-11-29 23:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋