The Sugar Daddy?

Question

For about 3 months now I have been dating this guy who happens to hold a strong position in state government, and happens to be (so far) everything I could ever want in a man. A couple problems, 1 I'm only 19, 2 he's 38, and 3 he PAYS 4 EVERYTHING! I kno that shouldn't be a issue but with me being a broke college kid, and loving him dearly I feel extremely bad watching him pick the tab up for every date, lunch, and run to the grocery store. Even sadder the things that we do I couldn't even pay for if I had to. Also this is somewhat adding a burden to the age factor because it makes me see him less and less like a peer and more so like a authority figure I have sex with. what should I do?

Answer 1

You're both lucky... he has someone who cares enough to WANT to make thigs equal, and you have someone who wants you to have everything you need. Work from there. A number of guys here have G R E A T responses - so listen to them, too. Trust me, your guy knows he's paying for everything, but he DOES NOT care... he's happy to make you happy and to make your life easier. He knows you're a "broke college kid", and is willing to help you out... he probably feels he "ows" it to you in some odd way. The fact that you feel this way is actually a good thing...it means you're not just there to take his money....something that you'll even out once you graduate and start working. As for the "authority" figure problem, you should ask him if you can "take charge" in the love department now and then...role play, etc. It's fun, and can give more spice and equality to your partnership. Also, "take charge" when you two decide to go somewhere or do something by being the one to either suggest it, or the actual place or thing to do.

Best wishes...

Answer 2

Do you love him, if so and he loves you then you need to get through this.
I think being male we always feel as though we must be the bread winners of the family, it is drummed into our heads from all directions from family to media and beyond.
This is not so anymore in either straight or gay relationships, income earns and bread winners are either one as long as one is the bread winner it makes life easier.

This is not about your partner this is all about you and your feelings of self worth. The age difference well you are just 19 you cannot possibly be producing the income he is a little bit of difference there and I hope it isn't a father son type thing that is sometimes more important to a man then the true love and relationship. I don't know either of you so I cannot judge. I have friends who have almost a 30 year difference and the older one is very wealthy and totally supports the younger one even put him through college. At first I thought this is a kinky unhealthy relationship but the truly love each other and support each other in different ways, and the younger one has not worked in the 6 years of their relationship. He is like a princess gorgeous house , new Lincoln SUV everything trips around the world everything ..............I'm jealous!

You can better yourself work go to school be a supportive partner and overcome all of these issues if it is real true love you will survive.

Answer 3

OK, I share a similar experience with you.
I am a student and my bf is much older and he pays for everything...it used to make me feel really bad but the important thing is to prove to him that the reason you dont pay for things is the fact that you just cant afford it and not because you want his money. I am sure he knows that by now. I know the feeling, but sometimes if you really like a person and you want to be with him you have to accept some facts....besides you are not going to be a student for the rest of your life, you will start working someday soon and then you will catch up in paying for stuff. Unfortunately with this age gap, you cannot sync your life but let me tell you the following:
I want to be with my bf all the time. I was working when we first started dating, but as a student I had to work during w-ends (most of my free time) which meant that we couldnt have some free time together since he works during the week full time. Now, I know that I would have my "pride" if I was working, had my small flat to pay for, didnt do all the things he likes to do i.e. going to a nice restaurant; but I wouldnt have him! If he is a nice person, he loves you, he never uses the fact that he pays most of the stuff against you and you dont take advantage of his money then I dont see a problem. I know, I feel bad too that I cant pay for stuff, that I can get him an expensive present yet, but that day will come. Should I go back to my lifestyle and lose him and the nice time we have together just to feel better? No. Besides think of the scenario that you start working and he loses his job. Wouldnt you support him then? I would. Now, the authority figure is something you see...I dont see the slightest authority figure, and to be honest with you, eventhough my bf is much older and takes care of most of things, I am pretty the authority one here lol
Do whats in your heart, and pls dont listen to people telling you crap like "find someone your own age blah, blah blah.." if he is everyhting you could ever want in a man, then swallow your pride for a while and make sure there is a balance. As I said, you wont be a student forever.
Take care!

P.S. Dont give a damn about the son of the b*tch below me, he is a racist making comments about black people, gays etc. all the time. And guess what! He is hiding like a little girl...all of them do anyway. "He is a white male living in the South and he faces racism daily"...typical white trash sh*t. F*ck off boobhead, I hope you get drunk and you lose your virginity to your mom.

Answer 4

Consider yourself VERY lucky. Most don't see my point of view but I feel that what ever makes you happy then go for it.
Obviously he is aware of your financial situation and some men really "dig" taking care of a hot young stud. If he hasn't mentioned anything about it then don't let it bother you.
If it still does, talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. Communication is extremely important in a relationship.
As far as an authority figure, you need to toughen up. I am in the same situation as you and we have been together for 6 years. I now make just about as much money as he does but he learned a long time ago that I am the one in charge. :o) Not really but I have earned his respect.
Good luck and ENJOY!

Answer 5

A relationship is where you both give what you have. Isn straight relationships no-one seems to find it strange is the woman sits at home and the man provides all.

He gives what he has (money, experience, wisdom, love); you give what you have (youth, energy, fersh perspective, love). He would not go out with you, if he expected a relationship where he considered it necessary for the parther to contribute 50% of finances.

Have a chat with him. As long as you both are happy HAVE FUN. One does not often find love, good sex, or whatever it is.

Answer 6

Sure, I would like a sugar mama. Can I have more than 1? Do you know some?

Answer 7

Plan some thing that you can be in charge of.

If you were dating another broke guy you would be paying for some stuff. Take him to a movie, cook him ameal, or a picnic.

Trust me he will love it AND it will put you on more equal footing.

Answer 8

if u feel bad about it u should talk to him about it and then decide if u want this to continue like this or maybe u should go on ur separate ways....in the end age is just a number but if u have doubts about it he might not be the man for u.....

Answer 9

if he makes you happy, stay with it. if the relationship doesnt fit with your values, you can choose to move on. talk to him about how you feel, maybe your perception of things is harsh, and he actually cares for you and doesnt mind paying for everything. maybe he remembers what it is like to be a college kid and wants to give back what people have done for him in the past.
good luck :)

Answer 10

Probably find someone to date who's not more than 10 years your age - that's still older but not 20 yrs. That's a bit much.