iam newly married in joint family i am smart compare to my husband . he is very serious & not so romantic. i love him very much. muje abhi pata chala ki he is used to smoke & drink also.my paternal belong to very religious family. i never seen like this before what should i do. how can i tackle this situation
2006-11-29 22:57:16 · 18 answers · asked by khushi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't worry its young blood & will take some time to settle. I was also very short tempered then some one suggested Moti (pearl ring) should be worn by me it really helped me & I could control my temper. You told he used to smoke & drink is he still do so? If yes then make him to understand the harmfull affects of these. I used to drink a lot but since six months I have now stopped it not bcoz my wife or kids asked me but I myself made it a point to stop it now I even dont take even in parties & to be very frank I lost 15kg weight by doing so, people go to gym for all this but my stopping alcohol made me to reduce by weight. I suggest give him lot of love , make him comfortable so he listen to you & be cool & calm
2006-11-29 23:11:47 · answer #1 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
dear friend,
u r lucky to get married in a joint family.
u say that u love him very much,then u should be happy that u love him far whwt ever n how ever he is.u love him even though he is not romantic,short temoered,serious.love is an unconditional, surrender of ur self to do everything to keep the loved happy at anycost.
u say that u r smart compare to ur husband it is an egoistic statement,it means ur husband is not fit 4 u.if ur husband is simple,serious,unromantic that does not mean he is less smart than u.he is suporting the family ,he is a responsible,son ,brother,friend ,n ur husband.respect him for whatever he is.if u cannot respect ur husband no one will respect u in the family.n never compare who is smart.
if u say he drinks n smokes then find the reason for which he has this habit.as u r newly wed donnot oppose his hadits, try to find his problems, tension, and understand them to solve them.slowly make him realise that it is not good for health.
u girls expect a lot from ur husbands,but have u ever till now after ur marraige with him ,tried to find out ,what r his expectations from u.
u just want to feel good n romantic, n special for urself(u said u want to impress him),free, happy, from the marraige. married life is not about all this, but a lot of responsibility,care, love,togetherness,faith,hardships,for each other n the family as well.
to be happy- reduce ur expectations,find his expectations,his likes,dislikes,his problems ,his habits.give ur 100% love,care time,thoughts,dreams,etc for him n his family.listen to his anger face his temper fulfil his dreams,he will love u.a if not now life is long one day he will feel ashamed of not taking care 4 u ,that wil be the day when u will feel satisfied for all what u have done 4 him.
n remember u have said i love him very much .this is enough ur problem is solved.
2006-11-30 02:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by tarun s 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi Khushi, yours is truly a tricky question. I am not very sure what do you mean by "impressing" your husband.
It again boils down to that fact that how far you can/want to go in impressing your husband. I would definitely not advise you to go all the way and cross all the limits in pleasing your husband. You have to have your self respect intact.
Being a male myself I believe males are bothered by unnecessary gossips and complaints. When he comes home after a hard day's work don't bother him by spitting out everything. Be patient and wait for the moment when he wants to talk.
Since you are newly wed couple, sex/romance definitely plays a bigger role in pleasing him. But you have to be a little creative. Since he is not showing too much of inclination for it, you have to try some other ways. For example, when he is not with you tell him how eagerly you are waiting for him, how you are going to stimulate him today, how you are going to try a new thing in bed etc.
Hope my suggestions help. Please feel free to get back to me if you need any more details.
2006-11-29 23:09:04 · answer #3 · answered by Satyajit 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi khushi
u have chosen name khushi tat shows how much u want to make him happy
as a married women i will suggest u not to be disheartend try to figure out the problem dear this is a very commen prob of a married life u heard na all the fingers r not same may be ur husband is not upto ur expectations but try to find out the problem by ur love and support u can do wonders dont think abt divorce and all tat if u really love him tat is not a big problem ten.
2006-11-29 23:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by sp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont expect to change him overnight.
You can only make about a change him gradually.
As regards habit : Remove the 'H" from the habit and "a bit "remains, remove the 'a" and "a bit" remains and finally even if you remove the " b" then " it" still remains .
So approach slowly but firmly and suggest to him just at the right time when he is in a good mood say during foreplay .
But do not , I repeat do not black mail him using sex as a weapon or else you will totally loose control over him.
2006-11-29 23:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by coolcg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as u have mentioned u love ur husband very much & u r newly married..So just try & ignore him for few days i mean to say just show him that u dont like his habbits & give him freedom to do whatever he wants to..If u will ignore him he will definately will b missing u & then will ask u about the things u dont like...Just try this for few days & wait for the reasults....YOu have not mentioned whether he beats u or things like that...I am sorry to hurt your feelings but if u want your merriage life succesfull u have to be tough......!!!!
2006-11-29 23:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by dkissmat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
how can i impress my husband i am newly married he is very short temered he is not so much romantic?
iam newly married in joint family i am smart compare to my husband . he is very serious & not so romantic. i love him very much. muje abhi pata chala ki he is used to smoke & drink also.my paternal belong to very religious family. i never seen like this before what should i do. how can i tackle...
2015-08-23 04:11:21 · answer #7 · answered by Derward 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man on the earth is ever born who do not fall in love for woman. Those who love mother, sister, daughter, bhabhi....... also love wives. I can smell the problem is from your side. Religion if correctly understood have no concern with human habits...smoking, eating drinking ...etc. They are merely activities ralated to body and differ from person to person. Religion is one and only one for every person.. And who poses to be relegious on these grounds they are not relegious at all.They even not understand A ...B...C...of sprituality. You may say these are bad habits only and a smart woman can easily help a husband to get rid of these habits. Dont pass remark on these issues. Ignore them ..but enjoy them offer him a cigretts or a peg of wine... and be sure these activities will help you develope a loving atmoshphere. He will feel shame on drinking, smoking, etc. Try ... and surrender fully to him. Love is complete surrender without any consideration. And the love in turn get the maximum consideration from the person whom you love. Dont pass remarks. Be sure . You are smart then what more a husband want. Love every activity of your husband. There is no relation over and above the relation of husband and wife. She is friend, mother , sister, bhabhi etc etc,... come ahead and love him from all sides......Love does not hate any habits of partner. Thodi shararti baniye ...ithlaeeye.....muskaryeeye. If you want anybody to be your slave first make yourself slave to him.......love....love....love......every thing he belongs to...his mother...his sister...his father...his dogs.....even his friends.... go ahead. It has ever been the easiest thing to control a man by a beautiful woman....
2006-11-29 23:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear lady,
Be frank with him. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Prepare what he loves to eat. When he is in good mood , talk to him about his habits. Ask him to reduce it by telling its harmful effect. If he realises & want to change then help him in all possible ways. U even can take him to docter. Never try to act smarter than him. Do what he expet from u [if it is corret]. Don't be egoistic.
GOOD LUCK.
2006-11-29 23:18:40 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Perfect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him now.. you probably should not have married him in the first place. Sounds like his temperment is not compatible with yours. If he loved you and cared for you he would not be short tempered and would treat you like a queen and you would not have to impress him..sorry your in this kind of relationship just starting out in your life/marriage..Sure hope it gets better for you..Good Luck :) Sex, food, children and house cleaning is not the answer either..
2006-11-29 23:02:52 · answer #10 · answered by flashrtp 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋