Teenage daughter - poor body image?

Question

What can I say to my 14 yr old who is in despair because boys don't ask her out. She is 5ft 8" and a size 12 and is beautiful, I think! Trouble is guys her age or a little bit older tend to be much smaller.

Answer 1

Be possitive and tell her all of the beautiful things about her (not just looks) It's important to have good self-esteem on every level in order to have good body image. Just reassure her, make sure she knows that it will pass and the boys who pass on her now will be drooling all over her later in high school and she will be too good for them by then.

Answer 2

unfortunately i dont think there is anything you can say. I was in a simialar position, iwas just under 6ft at 14, and taller than all the boys in my year at school and most in the years above, and am im fact still taller than alot of men (im now 21 and just over 6ft lol). I never got asked out at school and was convinced it was becasue i was ugly and fat, and in fact developed and eating disorder, but luckilu i grew out of it. The Fact that i am still very tall does bother me at times, i feel like a bit of a freak someimes, and men are intimidated by my hieght still, but ive learned that what other people think doesnt really matter and if a gut doesnt like me because of my hieght hes not worth worrying about. Give your daughter time and im sure she will realise this too, until then keep telling her she is beautiful, and guys her age will catch her up eventually, 5ft 8 isnt even that tall lol

Answer 3

Tell her, that as much fun as it would be to have a boy her age ask her out, that maybe they just can get past the mirror and magazie images of females. A size 12 is NOTHING. In fact, in 1960 that a 12 was considered to be today's size 4. Perspective changes with time, and so will the boy's perspective.

Answer 4

Unfortunately as a 14 year old girl she is more likely to listen to her peers and the media than she is to her mother. As she gets older she should realise all that you are telling her for herself. Just keep on as you are. Maybe she should ask the boys out herself. Tell her that maybe they are just too shy. It's not because of her size or height but just because they too lack the confidence, might be scared of being turned down. AND even if you don't have a boyfriend, it doesn't matter. I know it does at that age but as long as not all her friends are coupled up it shouldn't be so bad.

Answer 5

I wanna cry when I read things like this.....

Funny thing is when she is older she will be thrilled that she is good looking and tall, something every woman would like to be!!!

Show her some famous people that are tall......although thinking about it they are all like stick insects which is not what you want her to aspire to.........

Assure her that the other kids her age will soon catch up to her and then she won't feel out of place so much. Although we're all thinking tell her how fab she is it will not make her feel any better as the peer pressure to 'fit in' is so intense.

Just reassure her that she is gorgeous and that one day she will be the envy of all her friends and all the guys will want to go out with her!

I hope this works out for you, showing her these answers may give her something to think about also!

Answer 6

Tell her that she beautiful and she should b in no hurry 2 have a boyfriend, they could also b shy 2 ask her the 1's that like her, so just let he know that most girls don't have a boyfriend until they r 18 yrs old not serious 1's though.

Answer 7

Tell her that girls grown quicker than boys and that in a few years all those guys will be towering over her!
I am 5ft 6 and used to get called beanpole at school because I was taller than the boys. Of course, a few years later I wasn't considered particularly tall at all.

Answer 8

I don't know if you can change her body image completely, but here's some things that will help.

The Do's
- Do encourage her in everything she does, wiether its school. sports, or friends
- Do tell her that its ok to not have a boyfirend at 14-plentty of people dont
-Do let her know that the guys will catch up to her in size soon enough

The Don't
-Don't make negitive coments about yorself or other people regarding body image. Girls hear that and think that poor body image is normal.

- Don't make comments about how much she eats or her body image. Some people think that it will encourage them to get in shape, but it ALLWAYS backfires, in the form of an eating disorder or overeating

- Don't ask her specific questions about boyfirends or lack of therof. This just makes her uncomfortable


try not to stress too much- its adolescence- most people make it through without too much permanent damage.

Answer 9

Awww bless! The boys are probably not asking her out because she is good looking and tall!! That's the ironic thing!! Keep telling her she's lovely and that boys are two years behind her socially and mentally so they can't appreciate her for the beautiful girl she is. She's only 14 boyfriends will come along soon enough.. and sometimes she'll wish that she didn't bother with them!! xx

Answer 10

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