I love my kids very much. I even started to work a 2nd job so my wife could go part time to be with the kids rather than them in a daycare. This arrangement has been inplace for about 6 years now and every year my wife has become more and more distant from me. Now she spends no time with me alone. If we go out to dinner or the movies the kids have to go along. I don't mind takeing them but sometimes I want to spend time with my wife alone. I've tried for at least 3 years to take her away for the weekend , I even let her pick the place, but she always has a excuse why she can't go. She;ll say that one of the kids has a softball tournament or practice so she can't make it. Anybody can take them to practice for us. Why won't she spend time with me? Why are my kids first before me? Is this right or normal? Or is it just me making a big deal out of nothing? I miss our times we use to have together, I want them back!
2006-11-29 21:54:22 · 8 answers · asked by sneaky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I were having the problem of always making excuses and not spending enough time together, we started seeing a marriage counselor and one of the rules was to have a date night once a month planned, no excuses that weren't emergencies and it worked. We got back our passion, even took our first vacation without our five children on a cruise and that really did it. Plan a weekend cruise where your wife cannot say no. Talk to her, really talk and tell her you really want some time alone.
I don't know why she won't spend time with you but it's not normal. Every couple needs time together away from the everyday life and kids. You are not making a big deal about this.
Good luck!
2006-11-29 21:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are so very improtant in our lives and these days it is wonderful that your wife can stay home and take care of them. But it sounds like to me if she does not take time for the marriage also that the kids will be all she has. I think you need to sit down and talk to her and tell her what she is doing to you by not spending time alone with you. That is very improtant in a marriage when you have kids you still need to make time for each other or there will be no marriage. If she will not talk suggest a marriage councilor to her and see how she responds. Hope you can work things out a marriage is a hard thing and takes work but on both parts. And I think for you to work two jobs so your wife can stay home with the kids you seem to be a wonderful husband and your wife and kids should thank god they have someone like you. Keep trying it will work out.
2006-11-30 07:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by Virginia B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal..You took a second job to allow her to spend more time with the kids which i admire, but at same time with you working them two jobs takes your time away from her..Over the years she got use to being more with the kids than you...She has become really attached to the children and has gotten into her own routine of things...Depending on the age of the kids may want to do something to ease her out of it slowly...Like plan a romantic dinner for just you and her ,,at home,,after the kids go to bed...When you are sittin and watchin a movie put your arm around her but plz give her time.. Is hard for a mom to not be right next to her kids so much...Buy a card and write something beautiful to her...Let her hear the love you have for her from your heart and this will warm hers back up...LLittle things,,,One day at a time and just keep on loving her the way you do...Love always wins...God bless
2006-11-30 06:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by glowworm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not right nor is it normal, i don't know what there other people are thinking.Honestly she seems too distant, and not just a boredom or used to being alone with the kids.I think you need to find out if she is seeing someone else,3 years is a lot of time to not have 1 simple night with each othe alone. Is your sex life good? is she as affectionate as she used to be?how old are the kids? if they are in school half the day and when she isn't at work where is she? not saying there is infidelity but it is totally not normal,,, 3 years .................
2006-11-30 06:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by godzilla99s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having gone through a marriage that ended because we grew apart and lost the love we had as a man and woman. it became that more of a sister and brother, i took worked extra jobs so my wife could stay home with our children when they where small. my wife developed outside relationship and interests which drew us farther apart. she to refused to go anywhere with me alone. your marriage is in serious trouble. you need to ask her what she wants out of the relationship and have a long talk with her without the kids around. you might want to take a day off of work to do this, and come home unexpectedly . that's what i did and i was shocked at what i learned. in my situation i caught my wife with another man. until that point i had no idea, i was to busy just trying to be a good husband and father. good luck
2006-11-30 07:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by redsyoungstud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious talk with your wife. Sounds like she's using the kids as an excuse, not to be with you.
There's more going on here and until you find out all the facts, there isn't any way to solve this problem.
2006-11-30 06:01:06 · answer #6 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah its normal. think of your relationship like a flower. you dont water em, they die. your wife is probably isnt feeling the flame she did when u guys were starting out. doesnt mean u cant get the candle and light it again right? there are so many things u can do...surprise her, find relatives to take care of the kids and take her out, just do random stuff for her. get her interested again. write her love notes, i think that one of these things will get that fire burning again and next thing you know, its just you and her somewhere. good luck and dont loose hope! relationships are just like planes. they need a pilot and a co-pilot. engine stops running while you guys are up in the air, loosing altitude, assuming the planes gonna crash....thats how your feeling right now. the engine will start again, and the plane will fly off to the sunset hopefully. dont give up!
2006-11-30 06:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have read your other questions and I must say that I think this relationship is too far gone. There are definate issues that need to be resolved before you can even think about going away with your wife. Good luck
2006-11-30 06:18:55 · answer #8 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋