relationship problems...?

Question

Hey everyone and thanks for taking the time to read my problem..

My fiance and I have been together 4 years and have an amazong 2 year old daugther, who we both adore. Since her birth we have not been the same... I know having ababy was bound to change us but this is terrible.

I suffered from bad Post natal depression and had a really traumatic birth... 3 days in labour resulting in an emergency cesarean.

My sex drive has not come back and my fiance is getting really really frustrated. I cannot get in ''the mood'' as im always tired and stressed.

We argue non stop and over the past few wks we have done nothing but argue. We will get up, argue, he comes home from work we argue..... blah blah blah.

I dont know what else to do.. My doctor has forwarded me for councelling to talk about the birth etc, thats about 18 months i have been waiting!

Please nice comments and help information.. preferably people who have been in my situation and can tell me we will get through it

Answer 1

Having a baby changes your life completely! And post part-um depression doesn't help a bit. You have to realize what is holding you back to continue on with your normal life. Don't drag on how difficult your birth was... instead focus and enjoy your new baby, and be thankful you have such bundle of joy!

Remember, you are a team....and work together.. you need him and he needs you! He needs to realize that YES having a baby may be traumatic and you may need some time, so he should find a way to support you and learn to cope.... if he really loves you, he will! But the same time, you also need to put your part.... you have to surpass this post par-tum moment and be that hot mamma your hubby is desiring!

Enjoy a good facial... massage.... anything that relaxes you!

Life is not worth living stressed out.... enjoy it!

Answer 2

I am a mother of six children, they do make a difference to your relationship.
The man in your life will feel second best because the children will take up most of your time.
The trick is to make time for you and your other half.
Arrange a babysitter to have your daughter over night or better still over the weekend, (maybe either grandparents), and have a carefree time with each other.
It is important that you both have time to spend with each other.
As far as your sex mood goes, it is more than likely that your arguments are causing it, and spending time together on your own will surly bring back the spring in your step.
Good luck to you both.
Where do you live? I don't mind having an extra little girl for the weekend. my youngest is 3, and the next one is 4, both girls.
I live in Stoke Hammond, Milton Keynes.

Answer 3

my friend went through the same thing so from watching her i understand how hard it is.Everybody is different and it takes them different amounts of time to get over this.You need to sit your partner down and explain how your feeling its not his fault but not yours either arguing is only making this worse.What she did was get someone to take the baby one night every week for both of them to have time together the way it was before the baby they had been so wraped up in everything that was going on that they hardly knew eachother after a few weeks her sex drive returned mainly because they had been getting on alot better she also went to a mother/baby group and talked to other mothers about how they cope a baby does change alot but doesnt have to change everything hope this helps abit good luck!

Answer 4

I went through exactly the same thing as yourself. When i had my little boy a year ago i actually got pnd from having my little girl 13 months earlier. It was like i couldnt cope. My labour with my little boy was quick but it was actually worse than the 42 hour labour i had with my little girl! I tore and had to have 42 stitches, not a good reciepe for feeling in the mood after the birth.
I went to my doctor to explain my anxieties and he gave me diazapan, just one for when i was feeling very low and they helped, i also sat my pratner down and explained EXACTLY how i was feeling, you have to tell them like children or they dont understand!! We finally had sex just recently and he knew he had to be slow and considerate and we did leave the children with grandparents and just had the night to ourselves. Lots of touching and closeness before actually having sex, it relaxes you and believe it or not men love it. Take is slowly, no-one knows what pnd is like unless they have had it. It will get better i promise but you must talk to your partner about your fears. Good luck and big hugs xxxx

Answer 5

This will work:

Go to Ann Summers, get yourself a decent,classy set of undies.
Put your kid to bed(even better get your g-parents to care for 1 night), light some candles in your room, shave your legs pamper yourself and put some make-up on.....also a new perfume is a good turn on too.

Then when your Husband comes home, just clear your mind of all stress, frustrations adn he will just love to see you looking like that and you will just love the attention and bam! It;s a kick start to refreshing your realtionship as a passionate couple!