my husband dosen't want me to go out for work. what can i do?

Question

I am bored with staying at home. I want to be an active person.
my husband wants me to take care of the children only and stay at home. now Iam 32,time is running, i don't feel secure. I am very worried...

my kids are a 4 year daughter & a 15 months old son

Answer 1

It's possible that he is scared that if you go out into the world and find a job that you will also find another man (happens all the time). You have to do things for yourself and I think that if you want to work outside your home then you ought to work outside your home. If he truly loves you he will understand and you both can make it work. Good Luck to you and your family!

Answer 2

Part time as you have kids is a good compromise. I'd recommend getting some kind of marketable skill. If you don't work then you are being forced to depend on him and if he leaves you then you wouldn't have much to offer in court if he decided to take the kids. It also keeps you from interacting with the world and meeting other people. It could be an issue of control

What surprises me though is why at 32 are you just now trying to work? Or were you working before and took time out for the kids?

If he won't let you work, volunteer, go to the gym or anything that has you interact with the real world and give you some kind of feeling of pleasure of interacting with people he's trying to control you.

Answer 3

Since you are a grown woman and you want to work, explain to your husband the benefits of you working at least part time. You can also work from home but you will still need a babysitter during your hours of work. You will need to take into consideration the cost of daycare or a babysitter. If you have family you can have them watch your kids, this way it would be cheaper on childcare expenses and usually the child care would be better if a family member watches your children.

If you are not feeling secure you need to talk to your husband about your fears. You might also want to start going back to school to help expand your education and job skills while you aren't working by taking enrichment courses or getting a college degree.

Answer 4

You should feel lucky to be able to stay home with your kids.You have no idea how many mothers would love to be able to afford that.How on earth are you bored with two such small children.My one tires me out.I don't know how much you like children but if you are one of those the more the merrier kind of moms.You could try to babysit other kids.That way you feel like you are contributing and you still get to be with your own children.I personally won't put my child in a daycare or with a sitter I don't trust them I have known to many kids to get abused when in other peoples care.Also, If by not feeling insecure you mean you feel that you need an income of your own so you could take care of yourself if you had to. There are a lot of things you could do from your home.But has far as your husband is concerned you need to talk to him about what you are feeling.Your husband is your partner not you father he can't tell you what to do.

Answer 5

I did choose to stay home with mine. I do understand your feelings those hit me when my youngest was beginning k garten. Kids all about grown now and I am finding myself at home on disability without anyone here who needs me. I'm about to go crazy . I understand wanting to be active. If you stay home volunteer at the school a day or two a week. They love volunteers. Also read a few good books. I promise you they grow up so fast. oneday you will wonder how 15 month old got to be a senior in high school so fast as my youngest has and i have two in college. Life moves quick. Do what is right for you. This really isnt his decision.

Answer 6

Maybe you could work evenings part-time and your hubby could be at home with the children----working fulltime during the day wouldn't accomplish anything accept making some day care rich off the exhorbantant prices they charge!

Seasonal help is everywhere right now---and can work around your schedule during the holidays----

You really should sit down with your husband and communicate to him what you want to do. Maybe you should think of maybe running a day-care business out of your home to help you feel productive---Even starting a business on E-Bay could help!

Answer 7

Lots of men are like that. If the kids are still young, it is better to be home with them-sorry. But if they are in school all day, I see if you two could compromise, and get a very P/T job -just during the day. Maybe 3 days a week to start out, until he kind of got used to it? It would be a small start??? Good luck!!

Answer 8

Try volunteering at school or the library one or two days a week. You could use some adult conversation once in a while. Been there done that got the tee shirt. Hang in your kids wont be little forever. Then you will have more time for yourself.

Answer 9

You can learn a skill or have a new hobby or even do a home business. As such, you are able to take care of your children and at the same time keep yourself active.

Answer 10

see tell ur husband that u want to go out to work.but make sure u dont get into a serious arguement.but keep ur foot forward.but if he disagrees then just start doing something at home.like u can start aerobic classes at home or learn tarot readi ng n teach others or something like that.but dont sit idle.if ur hubby asks u abt it then tell him that 'u told me not to go out n work so i am sitting at home and working.i dont think that children will have probs cos i am there at home if they want something'