MY WIFE'S DEPRESSED what to do???

Question

my wife was taking pills for her bi-polar 4 yrs ago. every since she got pregnant she stopped taking it since her obgyn mentioned that being pregnant does alot to your body and sometimes it heals women who are bi-polar. she stopped taking medication and now she mentioned shes depressed again. i know that it also played a big factor in her wanting a divorce a few months back. we went to couples conseling and it helped alot. we want to work things out. but now, holidays are coming, not a whole lot of sunshine outside, tuitions due, taking care of our son....you name em...she told me today life just seem to be soooo hard. so basically she vents out all her anger towards me. i love my wife alot and i suggested medical help. she says she fine and to be honest, shes got issues with her dad. control and other issues. my suggestions turn into CONTROL and it is really affecting our marriage. what should i do??? :(

Answer 1

you should take care of your wife.

Answer 2

The following series of article have helped several of my family & friends. I reread them occasionally myself, both for myself, & to help me help others.

Understanding Mood Disorders
- Tormented Minds
- Living With a Mood Disorder
- Hope for Sufferers
> How Others Can Help
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/1/8/article_01.htm

Understanding Postpartum Depression
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20030608/article_01.htm
[You don't say whether she's had the baby ...?]

When Someone You Love Has a Mental Disorder
- Recognize symptoms.
- Become informed.
- Pursure treatment.
- Encourage the sufferer to seek help.
- Avoid placing blame.
- Have realistic expectations.
- Stay Connected.
- Consider the needs of other family members.
- Promote good health practices.
> Take care of yourself.
- Some Warning Signs of Mental Disorders
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/9/8/article_01.htm *

"If someone you love has a mental disorder, remember that a listening ear, a helping hand, and an open mind can help that one to survive--and even to thrive."

Wholesome Communication--A Key to a Good Marriage
- What Wholesome Communication Involves
- Obstacles to Wholesome Communication
- How to Promote Wholesome Communication
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1999/7/15a/article_01.htm *

When Marital Disagreements Arise
- Assessing the Situation
- Three Steps to Defusing an Argument
- “Pay Attention to How You Listen”
- Listening and Insight
- Aim to Resolve, Not to Win
- What You Can Do Now
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2005/6/1/article_01.htm *

Especially written for those suffering depression are:

Hope--Where Can You Find It? :
- Does Hope Really Make a Difference?
- Why Do We Need Hope?
- You Can Fight Pessimism
- Where You Can Find REAL Hope?
http://watchtower.org/e/20040422/article_01.htm

These Web-addresses may soon change, & then the Advanced Search at http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm will find the new URLs.

Answer 3

one way or another you have to get her back on the medication. I have suffered from depression and i suspect my sister is bi polar so i can empathize with both you and your wife.

When your are depressed your sense of reason becomes distorted and whilst those around you can see you heading for a fall in your own mind you are OK.

Also if she has issues with her father then maybe she should get some help from a counselor.

Maybe you could suggest going back to couples counseling it might be a way of letting her know how you feel and how her behavior is affecting you in a non threatening/controlling situation

Answer 4

Admitting you need help is the first step to healing. But she says she is fine, that's actually a big problem. Is ti a medical depression or a emotional one? Emotional: she have to admit that she needs help and she have to help herself. medical: that's the Dr work. Think of you and your son, protect him agings her negative behavior, he needs you. About you, will she change? Were are you going to be in 2years or so. take care of yourself if she doesn't want to change. Like I said, think about your son, just make sure he doesn't end up like your wife because he had problems with his mother. I know the feeling, child history is very bad if you had lots of problems and I made a choice to help myself, I admitted I'm wrong and still today I struggle with depression sometime, but its getting better each day. I had BIG problems with my dad and he had BIG problems with his mom, so you see somewhere it needs to stop. That's why I decided to put a end to it. You can do the same for your son.

Answer 5

You have to help her with her issues with her dad...Only when she allows herself to be set free from that will she start to change for the better...Just love her like you been doin and by all means go back to counseling...She may want to talk to her doc to see if there is something they can give her for her depression with her being pregnant..Some pills she cant take due to that...If she wont go to counseling then find someone you can talk to that will help you help her...You would be surprised what just standing by her and helping her in all areas of yalls life will do..times are hard right now for so many but God will see you both through..I will keep you both in my prayers ....Try praying and asking God to heal your wife,,your marriage and to settle all these matters..He will..He will heal it all..I can guarantee you that...

Answer 6

Wow......I'm sorry you are having so many problems......I am middle aged now and my children are grown and gone. I remember so many horrible years and sometimes I got depressed.....I think what usually got me out of that feeling was making changes......I don't know it is hard to explain.......maybe she needs to get out of the house and get some time to herself......or get a job.....is there someone who can help her with your son? It is important for the two of you to have alone time together.....try to find something that you both love to do go out alone and laugh and have some fun.... If your funds are tight you can find something that doesn't cost alot.......like going to a movie or even just a long walk together to talk about stuff.
Maybe since the counselor worked so good you should go back. Good luck to you .........I hope everything gets better for you.

Answer 7

I'm dealing with the same thing. This is what I ended up doing.
I told her how I felt about her, and that I married her for better or worse. I told her that I am there for her no matter what, but I have feelings and I am not a door mat and I will not tolerate abuse anymore. We seperated, but working things out. She is on medication now and things are going pretty well.

Answer 8

I think you should go back to counseling. I have never heard anywhere that being pregnant could cure bi-polarism. I think your wife needs to get back on those anti-depressants. The way she's talking concerns me.

Answer 9

go see couples counselling and a doctor together if she has a baby and is depressed she needs to be on medication or not be alone with the child fdepression can strike many different actions towards children and very unexpected turns so be safe and see a doctor with her

Answer 10

There is time when Bi-Polar is at its worst,when there is less sun.Get a doctor to tell you about a special.light,which gives the person more sun like feel.Love her and support her.Get medical help ..now.

Answer 11

Poor guy. She needs to get back on the meds!! If all else fails, leave for awhile, let her see what life is like without you. You sound like a great guy. She needs to count her blessings and realize what she has. Tell her you need a break. Life is too short to live with all this stress!!