My stepdad's cheating on my mom... how do I advise her?

Question

My mom and stepdad have had a rocky 18-year marriage. They are cold and barely talk to one another. Yesterday she discovered he's cheating on her. The catch is, she's American and he's a foreigner, and they live abroad. She loves living there but will have to leave if they split up. At 50 it's not easy for her to just move to the States and be a single mom of four, including 2 dependent teens. She's looking to me for advice...

Answer 1

eventually she will have to end it, beter now than later when she is older and when it will be harder to move back to the states.

you will just have to tell her and help her thru it, no beating around the Bush (no offense mr FBI man watchin what i type)

Answer 2

If it's been a rocky 18 years & she just found out he's cheating on her, I'd say there's a strong possibility that's been happening for several years. She can always just leave him & live somewhere else & not technically get divorced. My ex-husband & I were separated 3 years before our divorce finally went through. How long has she lived in the foreign country? Perhaps she needs to look into what it takes to become a citizen if she loves it that much? Or if she has a job, she may be allowed to stay. Most importantly, sounds like she needs some good counseling...from someone other than her daughter. Good luck!

Answer 3

did she ever get her papers in other in the foreighn country where she is leaving presently
and if so can she find job, like the US all country demand that you take care of your children when a divorce occur
if your mom don't want to stay after she divorce him that is another problem, but know this that it will be hard or her after been off the (US) working market for 18 years
and also where did the 2 teens borned
the US or .... if outside the US she must get their paper ready
(if she have not already)
these are not advises just a few point I am making for you to think about before advising her
but my advise is since & if the marriage have other problems
than the affairs it might be best if she left
but is she can approached her husband and talk about the affair
and their relationship as a whole it might be best
as you they have been together for 18 years, and it has not been easy if during that time she never makes any attempt at making financial security outside the country for herself than she is going to have a hard time
Advise to you if you ever married to a man and you move to his country alsways make some sort of financial security for you in your country
I am married to a FRENCH man living in his coutry, I kept 2 homes in the US, bank account and both places
and I am in my 30's it is call future security
if thing don't work out I will still be a French citizen but I can will be OK if I choose to return in the US
Good luck to your mom
by the way tell her to talk to a lawyer about her options

Answer 4

Well sometimes all it takes is her to say to him I know your cheating and what do we do from here. Majority of all men cheat but they never leave their wives.
All she needs to do is head this off. Should she do this then she will need you to back what ever she decides to do stay or go .
To stay would keep the family together. Which is important . All mothers go through this heart ache when face with a cheating husband. Or a cheating wife.

Answer 5

She doesn't need him, I bet it's pretty hard for her but at 50 she's a big girl and should move on.