I am married since last year and want to have a kid now but my hubby wants after one more year.But I am not happy with this and I have pressure from my family and friends too to have a kid soon.what do I answer them and how do I convince my hubby to agree with me.Is it right if I dont agree to him and be stubborn on my point or should I agree to what he says.I want that both of us should have the same opinion and not a one sided decision and also that our relation remains the same.can someone please help me and give me good suggestions.
2006-11-29 18:44:31 · 13 answers · asked by dreamz a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if your husband doesn't want to have a baby then you shouldn't. this is a marriage and it won't make it any better if you go against your husband's wishes. anyway, it is a good idea for you to be married for a while before adding a baby to the mix anyway. i've been married for almost five years and i thought i would be ready for a baby after one, but then i realized that i have a lot of living to do before i have a kid forever.
2006-11-29 18:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by somebody's a mom!! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll pardon me, but it sounds like you are just as "stubborn" in your opinion as he is in his. What's wrong with enlisting a little bit of compromise here? It's suppose to be a team effort, after all....both parties have to be on board and ready. Your whole marriage is going to be about bending from time to time. While friends and family mean well, and they care, their opinion doesn't really count. And it's not very nice of them to put pressure on you regarding personal matters. They don't have to do the raising, now, do they? You've only been married one year. You're still honeymooners. Frankly one more year isn't that long. You both could use the extra "happy couple" time before you become a happy family. Once you're a parent, you'll always be a parent. Don't rush life.
2006-11-29 19:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a bad choice to have a baby for the sake of pleasing your family and friends. You should have one because you want one. More importantly, you should have one beause you and your husband have decided to have one together for the right reasons. If you just want one and want to force or pursuade your husband to have one when he really doesn't want it yet, that sounds like your being a little selfish (sorry for being so blunt). It also sounds like you should have just adopted a baby or found a sperm doner if having this baby is all about making you happy, but not your husband, and I'm sure thats not what you really want.
If it's true that your husband really wants a kid, but in a year and has valid reason for it, just wait the extra year, whats the rush?
2006-11-29 18:50:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
See having children so early is not quite good. You must enjoy ur sex life first.Because when a child comes u have to give time and care and hubby feels alone.
My friend had a child at its earliest and after that he is not able to enjoy with his wife and wife also not able to enjoy.. They dont get time for sex as they are a joint family too.
So, wait for some time enjoy and then think of a child.
byeeee
2006-11-29 19:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by Aakash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about practicing a bit more before, so you know you're doing it right? How about compromising, and not being that careful?
Perhaps your husband wants to settle into married life, and enjoy this time with you. Lots of chages happen when little ones come along. There is not enough time for each other, not enough not enough sex, not enough time in the day.....You get my picture.
What about enjoying this time together?
2006-11-29 18:51:45 · answer #5 · answered by somebody cares 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't even read all your question, i got to the part where friends and family were pressuring you and you know what??? Your not ready for a kid, your husband is right for wanting to wait...You don't have a baby because of peer pressure...
2006-11-29 18:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there hon, i believe an same way. i change into an in straight forward words baby and that i'm set on having better than a million baby and that i might want to love them to be about 2 years aside. i don't think of that you're being egocentric in any respect, you truly favor to sit which include your husband and function a intense communicate with him. enable him recognize that immediately you're desiring yet another baby and perchance to make it sound like you're agreeing with him say we are going to devise to commence attempting in "July" or "August" purely to allow it look like its time aside and a damage. perchance he will understand and agree. If he doesn't i imagine it really is a touch impolite, he might want to respect your choose and choose for yet another baby on your existence by way of way you grew up. sturdy success hon i'm hoping the right for you all!
2016-10-08 00:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait one year. Don't be selfish, and don't force him or he Will resent you for manipulating him. You have a long life ahead of you enjoy the extra year alone with the man you decided to spend the rest of your life with. And for Pete's sake tell your family to shut up, it is your marriage, and life not theirs. they can be be patient and wait one year too.
2006-11-29 18:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by higg1966 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids aren't toys you goof! They are precious, and come with loads of responsibility. Buy a doll for now, and when you grow up, and learn that they are more than play things, then have one. Until then I recomend you keep your legs shut.
2006-11-29 18:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
May be he thinks its too early to have and has better plans too, wait for sometime till he also wants to have till then enjoy and get to know him better and make your relations also stronger.
2006-12-01 17:20:47 · answer #10 · answered by Deepa R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋