I've known this guy online for about 6 months now and we've had some very personal conversations. But he's gotten all depressed recently and had kind of a breakdown. I just don't have a lot of patience I guess. Hopefully he'll be OK, but it just affects me too much when he comes on complaining all the time. I feel bad for him, but I don't think I can do a heck of a lot for him, and I have enough problems of my own right now. I think he senses this and is leaving me alone, hopefully.
2006-11-29 18:36:42 · 16 answers · asked by geek_gurrrrl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't think you're a bad person. This couldn't have been too much of a friendship, though, if you're 'giving up' on him, knowing that he's going through a really hard time.
It just sounds like you're aware of your capacities and limitations at this particular time in your life, and that you have to determine your priorities, like all of us have to.
He'll survive fine without you, I'm sure, since you've only 'known' each other for a few months.
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2006-11-29 18:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by funnyrob01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm sorry that things had to work out this way. I have had numerous online friends, but I still have that one who I will have known for about 4 years now, and I think that is pretty amazing. But anyway, I don't think you should feel bad for not having patience for his situation. I think that if he is a good friend he wouldn't complain all the time, but instead talk to you about it like a normal person would, especially since you're only online friends. I guess if you want to keep talking to him then you guys just need to talk about it, and you maybe should explain to him how you hope that he is OK but that you also have alot on your plate right now and that your dealing with enough things in your life, that maybe it only makes you more stressed when you have to worry about him. Hope this helps!
2006-11-29 18:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by Katie Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is hard to be around people who are downers and are draining on your energy. It is important to surround yourself with people who lift you up and give you energy rather than drain it from you. That doesn't mean that you should run away from a friend in need, it simply means that once you offer your support if things don't improve within a reasonable amount of time, they need the kind of help that you obviously can't provide. Distancing yourself can be healthy, and it doesn't mean that you can't resume a friendship when he works out his problems. For now, take care of yourself!
2006-11-29 18:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
but I don't think I can do a heck of a lot for him, and I have enough problems of my own right now. I think he senses this and is leaving me alone, hopefully.
2006-11-29 18:42:17 · answer #4 · answered by Alia T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is going to sound weird but since you two have been talking about personal things for 6 months maybe he just feels comfortable sharing his downs as well as his ups. Maybe just being honest with him and saying could we talk about something else or I can't handle this right now could save this friendship if you still want it.
2006-11-29 18:42:47 · answer #5 · answered by e_piphany214 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard being around someone or, in this case, being online with someone, when they are being negative all the time. It only brings you down. Maybe give it a little time and try talking again at a later date to see if he's come out of it?
2006-11-29 18:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by jare bare 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UGH, I know what you mean! People can be so downing, especially if ALL they do is say something negative. You just don't wanna hear that all the time! You have things to do in life and talk like that doesnt help! Tell him that honestly and say you'll be there, but he honestly has to find that cloud's silver lining. Not everything in life is down and depressing... geez... get over it and move on! Yah know?
2006-11-29 18:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by Eating My Scab! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get online nasty with him only.
Sometimes it's good to have someone there. There's nothing wrong with your choice, but you need someone to talk to also, right?
Think about this: Happy people have no problem listening to others and offering comfort. They don't drag you down, you lift them up. Hey, I might even start volunteering. Thank you for this question.
2006-11-29 18:50:39 · answer #8 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not a bad person at all. i was in a similar situation and am no longer friends with a guy that i had become very close friends with. i felt like a horrible person but i realized that i needed to take care of my own life first.
2006-11-29 18:40:34 · answer #9 · answered by somebody's a mom!! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just get ur own problems straightened out n then try talkin to him. dont get too deep wit online buddies cuz a couple clicks can change everything about them kind of relationships.
2006-11-29 18:45:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋