Where do you start after a divorce?

Question

I think it is time to move on,for the last year 1/2
it has been all going down. I can't take his lies one after another, and then his betrayal with other women and the wrong choices he has made that have taken a toll on me. I used to cry every night and ask god why me what did i do wrong when i have given him three children,take care of my body nobody believes i have kids and
dont apear my age. I think of me as a responsible woman,funny,sexy and smart. I have forgiven him 5 times he's done me wrong after 13 years of marriage for the kids sake,but i
found out i think i don't care for him anymore. He is invisible to me know,he is unatractive to me and when im around him all i think is about going out for the whole day,his presence just don't say anything to me anymore. I think the attachment has finally broken ,but i still feel afraid of freedom where do i start,what should i do with it.

Answer 1

Mixed emotion, clouded mind, dark roads, all can seem a bit scary. But did you know that you hold the key to your new tomorrow? In your own hands you hold your life and the life of your kids. You also have the keys, flash light and map for your tomorrow.

After the divorce you are given new powers to re-write your life story and tell it to the world how you want it to be heard. Divorce will bring you freedom. You are free to move on. Do not be like the elephant on a chain. A trained elephant has been chained and conditioned to only move about (by the limitations of the chain). Once the chain is taken off, the elephant does not run free because they have convinced them self that they are still chained up. Do not let your past haunt you like this. You are a free woman. Get up and move about and explore the world you have been dying to see.

Think not of yesterday or the what could have been, learn to live in the moment of today. Embrace your new freedom.

Answer 2

i am divorced myself and i think the only reason why we do not want to end a marriage even though deep down in our heart we know it's not working, is the fear of starting over - all the 'what ifs'. what if i can't take care of my children? what if i can't cope? what if i can't find someone else who loves me? etc etc. first you have to overcome that fear and once you do that, everything else is possible. take one step at a time. it's possible but NOT easy so give yourself some time to decide what you really want for youself and for your kids. sit down and think through your choices and start planning your life - finances, assets, responsibilties to the kids etc. Have a clear idea of how you can get through the first year of your divorce and talk to your kids (if they are old enough). I always believe one happy parent is better than two unhappy parents and that has impact on the kids. Good luck

Answer 3

Getting divorced is not emotionally easy. Your whole routine will be turned upside down. You will be fumbling around for your identity and purpose. I know it sounds kind of corny, but after 13 years you were someone's wife, you were known as being married, you cooked and cleaned and kept a certain schedule for someone else. It is a strange time getting accustomed to the changes.
I was married for 23 years to someone I grew to absolutely despise. I thought getting through the divorce would be a breeze--it wasn't. But I lived through it. You will too.
Within a year you won't even remember what it was like to have that person in the same house as you.

Answer 4

As much as you want to make the break, believe me when I say, it will be one of the hardest decisions you'll ever make. I was married 23 years and had 4 kids; to start out on my own, boy, was I brave! It was a struggle, but it was worth it. With 3 children, make sure you file for child support right away, because that will really help financially. My X fought me for years on different issues, but today, as I look back, I don't regret doing what I did.

Answer 5

Start slow. Don't try too hard, or you'll make yourself crazy by not being where you want in the time frame you think is appropriate. Forcing it will bring you many days of frustration. Its a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself, and remember that this freedom comes with pros, and cons, and focus on the pros, because there will be a day when you will miss the freedom. This time is about you. Not about how fast you did it.

Answer 6

What you do is try to build a better life for you and your kids. Divorce is not a death sentence. You have to get on with your life.Put the bad times behind you and make some new friends,go to school do the things you always wanted to do.it may be difficult at first,but it's gottta be better than where you are now. Good Luck!

Answer 7

It's really hard but for the childrens sake you might have to do this. You didn't say whether they are boys or girls. He is not showing any respect to you, his commitment or your children. I will say however watch out for your heart, when I felt like we were strangers in the dark and we divorced after 30 years I felt lost. That lost feeling for you will be taken up with caring for your children...

I hope you take care of you. Without you the children have no one to look up to.

Answer 8

Spend plenty of time with friends and family, do things you havent done before or havent done for some time!
Youl probbly meet new people along the way and get to know yourself better as well!
No dating though, think that should wait a few months!

Answer 9

Its probably the hardest thing you will ever do....But when it all said and done you wont believe you lived with it for so long...Take care of yourself and the kids make that your priority,the rest will come,and when it gets hard no that there are people out there that do care and are willing to listen...Good Luck...

Answer 10

When a man doesn't respect the mother of his children it is best to move on.He will teach them that women and mothers are of no value,just by treating you indifferent.Once twice,three times and he is out.Do you know where he has been???And even Worse who he has been with?Think about Joey Betafeuco????Aids are of epidemic state and cheating men are the cause of it.You must think of your children first and you will be happier because you put them first.Men cheat because we let them.Good Luck!!!!!