I don't know what to do. My hubby works hard and when he comes home he goes straight for the computer. I know he loves me and everything but I am 19 weeks pregnant and needing a lot of love... maybe even just a little bit. I can finally convince him to come lay down beside me to cuddle and watch TV but by then it's already 11 before he decides to come in the living room. I know it's not the pregnancy because he is very excited. I have a feeling I will get a lot of advice to either spoil him somehow or give him sex but where is my spoiling? And sex is not comfortable to me, plus I'd rather have just a little cuddling every once in a while without him drifting off to sleep or wanting to get on the computer to play pool. Talking doesn't seem to help. Sometimes I just feel like shutting up and staying by myself because I am upset, but he bugs me to tell him what's wrong when I am like that, I don't want to guilt him. Distancing myself even more seems to be the only way to cope now.
2006-11-29 17:27:17 · 11 answers · asked by Brie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am not pregnant, but was having a similar problem with my hubby getting lost on the computer for hours. I finally sent him an e-mail telling him how I felt. Then I suggested a compromise... When he gets home from work he still gets on the computer. Only now he sets a timer for 2 hours. Once it rings he knows that it is my time.
It has worked well for us, and I got an immediate response, including apologies, by sending the "heart felt" e-mail. (Since I knew it would be the quickest way to get his attention.) He didn't realize how it was effecting me since I always found other things to do while he was on the computer. He even said that he thought I was too busy for him. So, it could just be a lack of communication. Good luck and I hope this helps.
2006-11-29 18:41:51 · answer #1 · answered by RainNRoanoke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her and try and get her to talk to her parents... By her talking to them gives her more options on wether or not she wants to keep it or even adoption she has more options now than she will later. Her parents will find out eventually just make sure it's not to late. And be a good friend and try and help/guide her to make the choices she wants and not what anyone "wants" her to do because she am has to deal with it later on in life no matter what she decides... And like the girl before said her parents will grow to the idea and yes there's a chance they'll loose it but the won't hurt her or the baby. So encourage her to make her decisions that will benefit her in the end.
2016-05-23 04:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be excited but that does not mean he is not stressed out we are having baby #3 & my hubby has a great job he still is stressed, he wants a larger house now, we need a bigger SUV, more college planning, 2 in dapers etc. I would have known none of this if I did not ask. I often get ready & drop our children off at my moms, for "us"nights. A few weeks ago I supprised him w/ Red Wings tickets for that night & we went. Or we go out to eat. Sometimes we don't talk that much depends on where we are but it is a date for us & alot of pregnant couples stop doing things, spice it up it does not have to be sex!
2006-11-29 17:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in the same boat hun, I'm 19 weeks too and my hubby has taken to drowning himself in books from the moment he gets home till he goes to bed. (hell I was lucky i got pg at all cause even before i got pg I only got sex about once a week to every two weeks) I know my hubby is tired and dont even want to move when he gets home in the evening (hes a meter reader and walks ALL day long) but like you i would like a little attention. At least talking to me! try going and siting with him beside the computer. or when hes not on there get on and write him a e-mail expressing your feelings I find that writing it its easyer than saying it. ask him why he dont want to cuddle with you. he could be scared he'll hurt you or he could feel like your the one pg and your the one getting all the "your gona have a baby attention" from others and hes lonely too but a bit resentful to you.
(unlike you I still crave the sex! but like I said I would settle for looking at me and talking to me)
2006-11-29 17:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by naightengale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you are my twin I think?
My hubby was JUST the same way! He is a trucker and works very hard, and loves his computer (it was Vice CIty at the time). It took me a while to get him to open up, but it turned out that he was kind of creeped out by the fact that there was a baby in his favorite... um... recreation area?
As much as I wanted sex, it was a no-go. Once we were sure we were PG he just couldn't, not even oral or anal. He was afraid of hurting the baby, which is silly - but very real to him.
We did learn to cuddle and, once the baby started to kick, he loved to fall asleep with his hand on my belly. But I had to resign myself to no sex for six months (or six weeks after the birth!)
It does NOT mean that he doesn't love you - I came to realize that holding hands or stroking each other's hair was enough. Hang out with your girlfriends, or paint the nursery - whatever keeps you busy. And if you want, you can email me at lacticrat@yahoo.com - I'll explain what "lacticrat" means, and we can gossip about our men.
Cheers,
Samantha
2006-11-29 17:35:27 · answer #5 · answered by Samlet 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont kow if this is an option for you but take the computer out. I've done this before lol got some quick attention.
other than that i like to write letters to peopl i have problems with. Write one to him telling him ho you feel. You don't even have to give it to him if u choose not to but you will feel a bit better.
Communication is key in a good relationship remember that
Good luck and Much Congrats!!
2006-11-29 17:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by Mama of Cuties 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You stated in your question that he "bugs me to tell him what's wrong" Sounds like he's interested in how you feel.
That's your chance, girl! Take the opportunity to tell him how you feel, find out how he feels and be prepared for giving him some suggestions on how the two of you can meet in the middle so that both of you can enjoy this incredibly special time in your lives. Share this beautiful time in your lives, as you may never again have this opportunity.
2006-11-29 17:58:36 · answer #7 · answered by myristicablkbrn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI, Communication is the key. No one is a mind reader and before he can change he needs to know what you are feeling. You can tell him how you feel without putting him on the defense. He needs to know what your needs are and you need to know what his needs are. The only way to solve a problem is to communicate, so take some time to sit down and talk, talk, talk. Good Luck!
2006-11-29 17:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by sunshinesue_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deja vu. He is not trying to ignore you. He is trying to unwind from his day. The problem is that when you get on the computer, it is addicting and time flies at the speed of light. So by the time he is ready to come off of it, it is 11pm. My hubby does the same thing. It's not you. Use the time to do your hobbies.
2006-11-29 17:33:15 · answer #9 · answered by Ladythang 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
call some of your common male friends over for tea or something. get your husband jealous of perhaps this friend.
buy two tickets to any show you both like
surprise him with some of your skimpy negligies. . . .
so many ideas...
when u run out of them, call me
2006-11-29 17:39:49 · answer #10 · answered by babut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋