Almost a yr ago I left my husband because I had feelings for another man. That relationship was short lived although I still find myself thinking about him constantly. My marriage was difficult alot of the time and although I feel that my husband has changed i am not sure whether i given the opportunity, i wouldnt stray again.
We also have 3 small children, which of course is important. Either way , my husband and I will always be close, but I 'm just not sure because 'forever' is such a long time and I feel its such an unfair promise to make to someone.....Help....I'm stuck
2006-11-29 17:09:32 · 26 answers · asked by Christine B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to decide what is improtant to everyone involved. That answer guides your decisions
2006-11-29 17:34:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's look at some key things you have said. “I still find myself thinking about him constantly (the other man)”, “… not sure if given the opportunity I wouldn't stray again” and “”forever” is such a long time”.
I think from that alone, which is only contained within a paragraph is pretty obvious you will have other affairs. By the way my number is………. sexually it sounds like you just want to explore and the marriage is not going to get in your way.
It may be difficult to manage but you might really want to look at an open marriage. You stated that your husband and you will always be close. So doesn't sound like he's holding any real grudge here. You want to be in the marriage for the children and in some respects your husband.
You want your cake and eat it too…. the idea of an open marriage is to have that support system but also to enjoy life outside of it. Your husband might not want to participate in an open marriage from the view of him going out with some oother women but may support it so that you can raise the children together and still have a life together.
It's not for everyone but people have done it. You have to set up some rule base that you strictly abide by. Treat your outside companions as sexual only...
While some people may think this is horrible they are probably missing the point that the alternative is to break up. The other alternative is to be in the marriage and cheat anyway or leave again which creates turmoil. It may be the least of the few evils.
Is nothing easy to do.....but I doubt anything is in the stop your yearning. You have to manage it…. you have to juggle a lot of balls in the air….. yes pun intended.
See what your husband thinks
Mark
Author of the book GirlsTellAll
2006-11-30 01:35:20 · answer #2 · answered by GirlsTellAll.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i don't think that u should go back to your husband...if not for his sake then at least for the sake of the children...i think u r only feeling this way because u r lonely and i think that he represents some sort of comfort zone for u...but remember u left him, and people may forgive but they definitely do not forget...sure u and ur husband will be close, but that's cuz u share children and history...don't make the mistake of taking the relationship between the two of u for more than it actually is..cuz u will only end up being hurt...and u r sooo right...it is very unfair to make such promise, especially since u are not sure if u can keep it...remember u r not only making that promise to him, u r making it to ur kids as well...it just seems like u have issues other than should i get back with my ex...more like u just want to be loved...gud luck with ur decision...hope this helps.
2006-11-30 01:27:56 · answer #3 · answered by Retarded Genius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"but I 'm just not sure because 'forever' is such a long time and I feel its such an unfair promise to make to someone" Then WHY did you make that promise in the first place?
2006-11-30 01:12:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you know, the children always come first. Forever sounds like a long
time....but life is short.
Myself, I would say go back with your husband and raise the children,
then if you still feel like you do now...leave him.
The only other option is.....can you support the children? Can you get
along without your husband's help? If so, and you have someone that
will care for your children while you have your relationship.
You are a Mom now...it's different as you know.
Good Luck to you, hope you can resolve it, so everyone is happy.
2006-11-30 01:16:19 · answer #5 · answered by Eve 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.
2014-10-24 17:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You seem like the kind of person who should not be in a committed relationship. Stay single, maintain a reasonable relationship with your husband (or soon to be ex-husband) for the kids and above all take care of your children. Your kids should come first. Sex, men and screwing are secondary.
2006-11-30 06:08:49 · answer #7 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course your husband has changed! You LEFT him, how would you EXPECT he act?
Seems to me that you weren't very mature when you married this man, when you left him, or even NOW, if you can't be sure you wouldn't stray again.I certainly wouldn't be close to you AT ALL if this was the best you could do to make a committment that affects SO many lives, ESPECAILLY the children.
2006-11-30 01:16:11 · answer #8 · answered by theradicalwomen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Christine: You need to get over yourself !!! You are too self-absorbed. You have 3 children, who need to be raised in a nurturing family enviorment by a mother and father, who really love one another. What did you plan on doing - abandoning the family so you could go on the hunt for more thrills with another guy then, get dumped AGAIN? !!! Marriage is for mature adults not for children - grow up !!!
2006-11-30 01:18:36 · answer #9 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt have made a promise u couldnt keep noway u did that in the begining.u might as well let it go unless u two can come up with a way to live for the kids but thats never a good thing.ur kids will notice.
2006-11-30 01:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by sweetoceana204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeppers you are correct you and your hubby will always be close due to the kids. I think both of you have alot of unsolved issues and distractions that make the two of you getting back together a big mistake .
2006-11-30 01:35:18 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋