My husband and I have been together for 7 years and married for alomost one. Recently, I went off the pill because I lost my health insurance. My hubby and I have been using condoms instead. When we got married we agreed that were would be happily suprised if we got pregnant and would not try for a pregnancy. If it happened, it happened- but my hubby does not want children if possible. Lately, I have experienced a new height of my libido and thought about having a baby even though we aren't ready for one. Is it the flux of hormones or the fact that I'm fertile causing this?Also, I would feel horrible "accidentily" getting pregnent to satiafy my neediness. Advice? Ways to cope? Should I think about a pregnancy?
2006-11-29 16:25:00 · 11 answers · asked by alavrenz 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
P.S. I don't want to decieve him by getting pregnant. I meant for nobady to suggest it.
2006-11-29 16:50:06 · update #1
There are lots of reasons you could be thinking about babies!
Maybe it's because you're ovulating now, which you probably weren't while on the pill. Maybe it's because of the thrill of possibly being pregnant already, even though the chance is small. Maybe it's because you've been seeing more babies around lately. Who knows?
If you really want children, it's worth taking to him about. Why doesn't he want kids? If he doesn't, why would he agree to be "happily surprised" if it happened? Does that mean he actually wants them but doesn't want the stress of trying?
My fiance also told me "if it happens, it happens". It turns out that he wants kids just as much as I do ... he just doesn't want to stress over the TTC stuff, and he wouldn't be willing to do IVF or anything to get it. So ask him what he really meant by that. You might be surprised.
It may turn out that you DO both want kids. You'll never know unless you ask again!
If he really doesn't want a baby right now, there are other ways to get your "baby fix". Babysit on weekends or as a job if you're not working currently (it's extra income, too!), volunteer at a hospital, offer to help a new mom with her housework and caring for the baby, spend more time with any nieces, nephews, or neighbor kids, etc.
If he's sure he NEVER wants kids, though, that might be a problem. Since you didn't "want" them before and now you do, what if that never goes away? What if you regret not having kids? Those are some other things to think about.
2006-11-29 16:36:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough one...your heightened libido could be a combination of both coming off the pill and ovulation...if you haven't already, talk to your husband about how much you want a baby...if he really doesn't want any children and you really do, that could put a strain on the marriage...hopefully at some point the two of you will come to have the same desires...for now, if you have friends or family members w/ kids, spend some time with them and see if you really want a baby...it's not the same when it's someone else's child, but it will give you both an idea of all the responsibilty that comes w/ having a baby!!! Best of luck to you, and I hope you get what you really want in the end!!!
2006-11-29 16:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by Renee B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound rude but Getting pregnant right now would be extremely irresponsible since you don't have health insurance. Secondly, if you feel like you are overly needy, a pregnancy followed by a demanding newborn is not for you at the moment. I also agree with the others. Your husband must want a child if you want to try to get pregnant or else he may resent the baby. Hope it all works out well for ya.
2006-11-29 16:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's Ma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've got several friends who had reluctant partners, but when the babies came along the men were smitten, and eager for more! I do think, though, that you should be on the same page with your hubby. Would you prefer an amazing night where you and your partner consciously, and lovingly poured your focus into creating your child, or an accidental (and possibly hormonally-driven) conception where you both weren't sure you were ready? Have a night where you both really openly and honestly discuss the pros and cons of getting pregnant now. Good luck and a happy, healthy pregnancy!
2006-11-29 16:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about your financial status first, and the fact that he really doesn't want kids would be something I would talk to your husband about, don't get pregnant by "accident" if you two aren't fully ready for a baby. If you just lost your health insurance I would advise waiting until you can get some kind of health insurance before trying or wanting to get pregnant those doctor visits can be quite expensive . It sounds to me that you are realizing that you are wanting kids and wanting them soon but think about your life right now if you are fully ready not just emotional but financially before wanting a baby. Best of luck to you!!
2006-11-29 16:31:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you hubby doesn't want to be a father then I would say NO. It could really change your relationship. I would talk to him about it and make the decision as a couple. A baby changes everything......including how much of your time he will be getting.
Then again the desire to become a mother increases with a woman's age or if your hear that calling and can't ignore it.....Go for it.
2006-11-29 16:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well the first thing I will tell you is to discuss this with your husband. If you truly want children, tell him! Even if your not ready and want children someday, start talking. Having a baby is so amazing. But make sure it is something you both want. However I believe if you did get pregnant "accidentally" the moment your child is born he would cry with joy :-)
2006-11-29 16:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by Hello Kitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you want a child you both have to agree and be excited about it. I would just keep taking to him and tell him how you feel and see where it goes from there. You don't want to get pregnant by being sneaky because he will most likely resent you for it and that is not a good way to start a marriage.
2006-11-29 16:31:13 · answer #8 · answered by Sakora 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hummm... Platies are impressive fish for you're tank - they stay in water 26-28 levels celcius. 10 gallon tank could be effective.. Mines purely 27L and that i could have 15 adults in there. in the department shops the filters permit you realize what length tank they are for, so merely study. you decide on An air pump or oxygenating plant in case you plan on protecting particularly some. The Ph stages be counted on what fish you purchase, so confirm you learn vefore you purchase them, and purchase a water attempting out kit too. you additionally could have Tetras Barbs Swordtails Guppies Bettas Minnows. do no longer save Bettas with different fish. in case you purchase guppies, you're able to have a million male consistent with 10 women human beings, in any different case the male will rigidity out the female and she or he will die.
2016-10-04 13:22:23 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your hubby doesnt want one and you do maybe you should wait til you are both in agreement. sounds like you want one. only you know why. there are free birth control clinics for everyone. call 211 if you live in california. anyways, good luck.
2006-11-29 16:28:53 · answer #10 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋