Why would woman leave 18 year marriage for internet pal known for 4-5 months and met only twice?

Question

Marriage seemed great and loving. No preliminary signs. Just
came outta the blue. Husband was older.

Answer 1

Obviously she wanted something more, or something different, or something new. You should really just ask her, so you're not wondering forever. After what's she's done, she owes you that much. You deserve an explanation; get it.

Answer 2

It takes two to tango. She may not have had her needs met, but then again, she may never have expressed "new" needs. It's hard sometimes to recognize those needs in a relationship. We grow, we change and can drift apart "comfortably" in a relationship.
Also consider the dynamic that if her needs weren't being met, that yours were not either. This is the "why should I really care if you don't" syndrome we can all fall into, even if we are not aware of it.
She obviously reached the "fight or flee" point in the relationship, for whatever reason (a collection of annoyances or maybe the desire for something new... boredom, loneliness?). It's probably harder to fight and talk about the issues, but the internet makes it easy to flee and never leave the home. On the internet you are exactly what you want others to think (i.e. the success of predatory behavior online) so the grass not only seemed greener over there for her but the other guy as well.
Too late to blame and fret. Just take some time to learn whatever lessons you can from your end and on hers... and move along.

Answer 3

Who is to say her 18 years of marriage was a real marriage? Was she happy or sad most of the time. Most men worry about the wife faking it in the bedroom, when he should really be concern with if his wife is pretending to be happy while being miserable the hold time.

The focus here should not be placed on the Internet pal, but more so on what kind of marriage the couple had during the 18 years.

I don't think this all happened out of the blue, I think this woman finally found her strength to break free and have been wanting to get out a long time ago. She got her wings and was finally able to fly away without looking back.

People stay in a marriage for many different reasons, do we know why she waited so long?

Answer 4

There are lots of possibilities as you know but Here are a few of the most probable:
1. Feeling like the "sparks" not there anymore
2. The older husband is not performing as well
3. The grass is greener on the other side.
4. Life crisis
5. Hormone levels( or age related troubles etc) causing depression which cause bad self-esteem which causes feeling of doubt in appearance and when she wasn't getting the confidence building at home she looked for appreciation elsewhere.
6.Kids are grown
7.He's a grump in old age
8.She doesn't want to care for him
9. Tired of being tied down
10. Financial troubles
Just to name a few.I don't know specifics of the situations, so I can't be directly on target but keep in mind what "seems" to be the perfect marriage on the outside are usually the marriages that are suffering the worst....Sometimes there are no signs and the person keeps all there feelings of not being satisfied private. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

I think the real person you should address that question to is the woman that left the marriage.There are always two sides to a story.You say there were no signs.Yet the woman was meeting this person outside the marriage prior to leaving the husband.In my eyes that should have been a sign.If you truly want to know .Why she would leave after 18 years?Then the best person to ask is her.

Answer 6

Women are creatures of Love, big time and when they are not getting love at home, they will leave at the drop of a hat if they think they have found love somewhere else.

Sometimes we men live in the future, of what we expect or want to happen. Women live for right now, and many times do not look past their heart when leaving someone for another.

It happens all the time, and the one you mentioned, was not an isolated case.

Darryl S.

Answer 7

Internet pal made woman feel some things that Husband hasn't made her feel for a while. Maybe some courtship happened online and during meetings. Probably more thnt happened with Husband. Attention was paid to her, she was made to feel desirable rather than convenient?

After 18 years, you forget to do things. When you've seen a guy in his shorts for that long, it just gets old.

Answer 8

Because it's exciting to meet someone who has told you everything that you want to hear. Seems that she got what she was looking for... a hook-up to mask her insecurities.. I think that some people just take for granted what is real and don't care about how many lives they destroy. You can never know what really goes on in someone's mind, but in this case she probably decided long beforehand that this was something that she would be open to.

Answer 9

Well, on the surface (and in my eyes) that was a very obviously self centered thing to do, and a very shitty thing to do to someone who has been with her for 18 years. That being said...maybe she felt taken for granted? That is obviously no excuse, she sould have talked to her husband before abandoning him, but I am sure there is a reason...abuse, adultry or addiction would have been valid reasons to leave, however, I would have left WAY before 18 years if it was a deal breaker like that...so I am guessing that she was bored.

Answer 10

She's bored with husband, Internet is a killer on marriages. Let her go, who wants such a woman? It may hurt him, but he will never trust her again.