how to fix a marriage gone bad?

Question

recently my wife left me to move down with her parents this was over a month ago. its pretty much my fault i have been a complete a*shole at times. my point is i talk to her often on the phone and online and sometimes she says she wants to work it out other times she says she doesnt i am confused. i want this to work so bad i just dont know what to say or do. i know i have made alot of mistakes any suggestions on what to say or do to help us get back together. please help

at this point in time it really hurts to know i am probably going to spen christmas alone. if anyone can really help me i am willing to pay you $ back. i thought about counseling but i live in ny she went to florida with the kids. i am lost and need a real persons guidance. like i said i will pay $ emial me [e-mail] or aim s/n is rwb9900

Answer 1

I am sorry for you. The good thing about this is you realize you have done her wrong and you want to fix it. Talk to her and tell her just what you have told us, and maybe talk to a marriage councilor. If this is something you really want. You could go to the first session by yourself and then tell her what you have done, so she can see that you are truly trying to make an effort to make your marriage work, then suggest that you go together. Marriage councilors can work wonders it you find the right one. Marriage is hard work sometimes, but it takes a real man to admit he is at fault and make a change. Good Luck on your marriage, I hope things work out for you! This next statement is coming after I read you r "additional details" I don't know if this could work but, about the counseling, maybe you could find a counsilor that would do a conference call or put you on a web cam for the session since you live in different states now. Like I said I don't really know alot about this, but it is worth asking about if you are willing to do anything to save your marriage!

Answer 2

Wow man. I think that usually when one of the couple move out it isn't because of any one thing. It is because of a lot of little things built up and at some point you pushed her over the edge. I would take some serious time examining your past behavior and think about what it would take to change it. Or at least talk to your wife and figure out what all got to her. By your own admission you were the bad guy. Why were you being that way? Was it because of something else going on, was it her, or was it something internal? Figure it out, face it, and fix it. Once you have figured out what you have to change, you can convince her that you have the ability to change what you have been doing.

Once you have seen your therapist, fought your inner demons, or figured out how to finally stop whatever it is from controling your actions, you need to do something that shows your wife you changed. Actions speak louder than words. So, join a gym (and actually go!) if she is worried about your health. Send her flowers if she is lacking spontaneity... You know what you did wrong. You aren't going to be able to heal your relathionship if you don't figure out how to heal yourself first.

Answer 3

Not enough info. It would depend on what you said or did. If a woman leaves a man and he is not beating her etc, she normally has planned her move for some time and usually there is a man somewhere you are not aware of. Women like security and if she left, she's lost that loving feeling anyway. You can cry for her, get high for her, but only time will tell if she returns. Broken promises women never forget. Your ages make a difference too. Tell her you love her is about all you now can do. This Internet is a killer, women meet men and get other women's opinions too as you know. Good luck bud.

Answer 4

It sounds like the only way to really work on your marriage is if you go see a marriage counselor who can give you guys work to work on and who will approach the sensitive issues going on. I would do anything to save my marriage. Once you divorce things are over. You need to try and she needs to try, at least one more time. You both need to remember those vows you said and think about the love you have. Go make a list of all the problems that are going on. Then make a list of everything you want to work on yourself with. That's a good start. She can do the same, you can even tell her this over the phone.

Answer 5

Ryan it is no about fixing it is about action. Gather all photos if you have any......take any moments that you remember and write them down.......make a collage of your feelings about how she makes you feel. Look very deep in yourself and explain your view on why you did the things you did. Most of all be honest with yourself......For a person to pick up and leave is a message in itself. Think about the things she told you that were important that you disregarded...write them down. Be a man of Honor and do something only a man of honor would do fess up.....

Do not make excuses do not use childhood or anything as a scapegoat.
Make her a life size homemade card........you will have to get refrigerator boxes to send it. Have it show all the wonder she makes you feel.......you have the magic within all you need to do is turn the key !!!! good luck dude!!

Answer 6

You need to make strides to fix whatever it was your were doing if at all possible. And perhaps you could suggest that the two of you go attend some marriage counseling sessions together. You need to express to your wife that you want her back, you don't want to loose her and you are willing to do whatever it takes to save this marriage. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 7

When you talk to her next tell her you want to work to fix what has gone wrong, remind her that you cannot do it alone and need her help. You two are a team and should try to work on it together, otherwise its one sided and will never be fixed. Good luck!
-NmD!

Answer 8

Tell your wife you miss her and want to work it out if she wants to give it a chance, then ask if she will go to a marriage counselor with you.

Time to admit you need outside help if you want any chance of saving it.


And don't be so quick to take all the blame just because you miss her. She might be a big part of the problem.

Answer 9

This is really tough without specific details. The best advice I can give you as a wife is, don't rely on words to express your feelings. Actions speak much louder than words. Genuine, heart felt, gestures can say, mean, & achieve a lot. Don't tell her you love her; show her you do. Don't tell her you will change; show her how you're making changes now. Good luck!

Answer 10

You guys need professional marriage counseling either with a therapist who specializes in marriage fixes or your pastor/priest/rabbi if he/she has experience in counseling. Both of you need to go, but if she won't, you ought to anyway to prove that you are willing to go the distance for the marriage.

This marriage can be saved.