OK, my gf is Catholic, but she's a lesbian. (And spare me of the "then she's not really catholic" speech, she loves God more than anything) She loves me, she believes that people fall in love with people for a reason, but she was raised that homosexuality was wrong. She's really confused because she's sort of questioning her feelings and her religion. What should I say to ease her mind? She's very loving, and she knows she wants to be with me, she's just confused. HELP!!!
2006-11-29 15:50:36 · 18 answers · asked by Phedre D 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
To all those who wrote about how she's disobeying God and all that jazz, obviously you're too dumb to read becasue I clearly said to leave that sh*t at home. and to CUTE_NISS (you wish)- I'm not trying to persuade her of anything. I want her to make her own decision. She's not debating whether or not to be with me, she's fighting her feelings versus her upbringing. I'd never try to coax her into anything she didn't want to do. I'm just looking for ways to tell he I support her in whatever she finds in herself, you moron.
2006-11-30 04:47:42 · update #1
Your in a tough situation, because your GF has got loyalties tied between two things at the moment. You and her religion ( and we both know those two subjects don't go well hand in hand). I am guessing your GF would be questioning allot at the moment, there is nothing that you can say to ease her mind really because its such a delicate situation which involves you. I would just tell her that you understand that she is going through a bit at the moment, and understands if she needs space, but tell her you do love her and you will stand by her what ever her decision. Just make sure that your there for her emotionally and physically because she will be having a hard time at the moment. Religion is very important to some People its only up to her if she can choose love over her religion. I hope she does : )
The best of luck to the both of you
2006-11-29 16:03:19 · answer #1 · answered by Shes a Cookie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
maybe this will give her a new perspective. have a nice day and let her know you love her:
The Bible does condemn certain certain specific sexual sins between persons of the same sex. Those are still considered immoral, and even criminal, today by almost everyone. But it delivers no moral message about private, consensual same-sex activity by a committed, loving couple.
The Bible does talk extensively about the spiritually elevating and civilizing power of love. It discusses the need for justice and freedom for all. To deprive persons of elementary rights, including the right to marry, because they happen to have an unchosen and unchangeable homosexual sexual orientation is profoundly unjust. We should concentrate on these positive biblical themes when we develop a moral code for persons with a homosexual or bisexual orientation.
2006-11-30 00:22:44 · answer #2 · answered by Enigma®Ragnarökin' 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, please do not assume that Catholics are homophobic; many of us have minds of our own. Let her be who she is; a lesbian who loves God. It's all good. At one time the church held the belief that the Sun rotated around the Earth and anyone who said otherwise was a heretic...Check out Galileo to see what he went through. Now we all know the earth revolves around the Sun..the church was wrong...Galileo was right! I am a straight Catholic and I love the practice of my faith; however I do not say I believe things to please the clergy or anyone else when I don't..God Knows Better. I have talked to some very well educated church scholars and there are varying views on sexuality; not all are homophobic. No church, person or other entity should try to get between her and God. He loves us as we are. It's people who have problems with our choices.
2006-11-30 00:00:50 · answer #3 · answered by ValleyViolet 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I know I was in the same position. It took me a while to feel fully comfortable with the fact I was gay. I don't know how long it took but it would have been shorter if I didn't have my Christian beliefs.
I just got to the stage where I was so unhappy and thought - why should I be unhappy for someone - God - who is meant to love his children. If I'm happy in life then I am happy with him.
I think it is better to be happy then lying to yourself. I just knew with time that it didn't matter who I was with it was that I was happy and in love and that made me a better person.
I had one bad reaction from all of the Christian people I know but that did not deter me. As Bette said in The L Word - I am your own creation. I know some of the worst people I have ever met have been so called Christians.
Just tell her that time is of the essence. It is blatantly obvious that she is gay and she loves you but she has to realise to love herself first and accept who she is before anyone else will - despite their faith. I just think it's better that I love someone of the ssame sex than go out there blowing people up because of what I believe in.
2006-11-30 00:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by gretphemelger 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is really no easy answer for this situation. The best you can do is try to convince your gf that there is nothing wrong with having faith and loving another woman. Remind her that her feelings are natural and that your love is natural. Just because there are people that say it's against religion, they are humans and not infallible. It does not mean God thinks any differently about her, after all, that is how He created her. Her personal relationship with God is all that matters, not what other people think or say. You should encourage her to practice her faith if that is what she wishes, and she shouldn't feel guilty about this at all. Hope this helps you somewhat.
2006-11-30 00:00:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
Phaedra, I really feel bad for your girlfriend. It's hard for people to sincerely believe in a religious faith that condemns people like them. No wonder it's so hard for your woman to reconcile her sincere love for you and her equally sincere love for her savior.
There are a LOT of gay & lesbian christian groups out there - including a group called Dignity, which is a Gay Catholic organization - you should look them up on the web, and then show the website to your girlfriend.
I'm sure that Dignity has books and pamphlets available that would help your woman reconcile her faith with her orientation - and would also debunk all the anti gay hatred that the Roman Catholic Church teaches.
Beyond the theology, you also have to let your woman know how important her feelings (and her immortal soul) are to you, Phaedra.
Also, make sure that she knows how deeply you love her, and how important her happiness is to you, and how much you respect and honor her religious faith.
This is going to be very hard for your girlfriend to reconcile - you're obviously a very supportive girlfriend and care about your woman a whole lot - make sure she knows that.
Hope that helps.
Good luck & God bless both of you!
2006-11-29 23:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
There is a support group for gay Catholics: www.dignityusa.org. Have her check it out, and maybe there's a group near where you live that she can join and learn that it's OK to be Catholic and queer. Meantime, do what you can to support her as she wrestles with this one. If she is truly devout, then this really is something that's rocking her world...especially with the homophobia that spills out of Rome on a regular basis. Remind her that the most basic tenet of Catholicism...and Christianity...is the command from Jesus that we love God and we love our neighbors as ourselves. Nowhere (and I mean, nowhere) does Jesus say "Love everyone....well, except that gay person over there". Best of luck to both of you.
2006-11-30 00:02:35 · answer #7 · answered by FL LMT 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let her know about this organization, which is for LGBT Catholics who don't feel they should have to make that false and hurtful choice between love and God:
http://www.dignityusa.org/
As a woman who had to choose between love and her church, I can say, don't force a choice. Listen. Learn as much as you can. Be supportive. Believe me, the contrast between their hate and your love will become so obvious.
I've shared this before, but this is my story of why and how I left the Assemblies of God church.
http://crackerlilo.blogspot.com/2006/07/no-one-is-to-blame.html
2006-11-30 00:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i am not sure any where in the bible it says that homosexuality is a sin and wrong.. maybe you should look and see if you find it.. or search the Internet maybe that will help.. my ex sister and law and my self once looked up something that way.. every one was telling us it was wrong to marry out side your race.. well moses married a Ethiopia women and god blessed that union i found that in the bible..and he said it was for him to judge and him alone
2006-11-30 15:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how about she looks within herself to trurly understand what she believes in and what she is willing to practice. I am a catholic and am of the firm believer of following your heart. She needs to understand that just cause she was raised a catholic, she has to be one for life. All in all, our way to God depend on how we view his teaching and how we are willing for follow them without being hyprocrites.
2006-11-29 23:58:42 · answer #10 · answered by ngina 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋