Honestly, (see pic) will my looks interfere with my counseling career?

Question

I am currently getting my masters in counseling, and in the future I want to work as a marriage/couples therapist. I'll graduate in about 2 years.

I also work as a cocktail waitress at a nice restaurant...sometimes customers ask me about myself, and a lot of times the men laugh when i tell them I want to be a marriage therapist, and say things like "There's no way my wife would let someone like YOU be our therapist, it would make the problem worse! hahah."...I think meaning that since i am an attractive female, married women won't want me to be their counselor. Do you think this is true??? Or is that ridiculous? Men and women, please both respond with what you would think.

Here's a link to a picture of me...be honest with what you think. No big deal, problems, etc. (Obviously I won't be wearing anything low-cut or inappropriate when seeing clients! Keep that in mind).

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i7/kujayhawk3eb/02_01_8.jpg

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i7/kujayhawk3eb/Nov10256.jpg

I know not only ugly people can be therapists, but i realize that a lot of marital problems will deal with issues of infidelity and insecurity, and I just wonder if being attractive could make things worse.

OK WHOA Clcalifornia...this catty-ness is exactly what i am talking about. I think what i am asking is a legit question. It's ridiculous that a person can't acknowledge the fact that they are attractive and ask a serious question about it without being called self-centered.

I am not caught up in my looks because i am asking this question. It would have never occured to me, had no one said anything. Just because someone is attractive, this means they "can't see beyond the mirror"? Wow.

About my job: I work at a nice steakhouse, not a bar...i just take the tables in the bar section of the restaurant. I make a lot of money in only 2 shifts a week, its the only way i can afford school. FYI.

WHAT??? I am too 23, born in 1983, graduated hs in 2001, college in 2005! what the hell!

Answer 1

Along your path to success, if you find a couple that is not a working match...you have the right to refer them to another counselor. Not all working relationships will be a perfect match, but stand your ground in a firm manner if your dignity is being mocked.
I am seeking my masters in social/clinical psychology. I am also an attractive married female. When clients attempt to hit on me, I follow the ethics principal. I have received comments, such as, "You are too beautiful to have brains," and, "Man, I could use a woman like you!" That behavior is unacceptable, and I reiterate to them (in a professional manner) that their behavior is inappropriate.
To answer your question, brains supersede beauty. You will be able to think of tactful ways to deal with difficult situations.
I will never need a marriage counselor but "IF" I did, I would hire you.
Additional Info: Did you know that Marcia Cross on the show, "Desperate Housewives" has her Masters in Psychology? I have only watched the show a few times. Apparentally writes her own script. Her character has a dry, and comical wit about her...it is quite comical if you watch the hidden meanings behind her words.

Answer 2

That all depends. I think my wife is more beautiful but that doesn't mean I don't fantasize about other woman. Some not so attractive as you or my wife. So I guess it doesn't matter.

Nor should it matter

Just think of it this way. If it is true then you may only have a hard time at first. Sooner or later (probably around 40) you'll hit the wall like all the rest and your career will probably take off. LMAO

Sorry. I just looked at the second pic. Stop lying. You are not 23. More like 28-30.

Answer 3

If you dress conservatively, it will do wonders in family counseling, especially with children.

Stay away with sex abuse cases.

As long as you're young, you'll be less effective with adults who will trust older. Sorry, nothing you can do about it, but realize younger couples might better trust someone closer to their age, and older couples wouldn't trust some one so young.

But every therapist knows, the wise patient will "interview" several counselors and pick the one that both or all are comfortable with. It might be you.... but if it's not, it will be for someone else.

And a bar is probaly much more stimulating than dealing with those stuck-up a** that have to have BMW's.

Being pretty, you could also relate to the problems of pretty women.

I's reminded of a pretty women I met at a bar complaining about how all her boyfriends end up jerks. She must be a jerk magnet.
I told her,"look pretty women attract everything, she only lets the jerks in."

Have I rambled on enough yet?

Answer 4

I am not that attracted to bottle blonde's or women that think they are too pretty. A woman may find you a threat sitting there looking all that time in her husbands eyes. Being a counselor, you are aware most women wear makeup to look good to other women or men, not their husbands they don't see most of the day. What you should be more concerned with is your age and book education.Older couples would not listen with you as much.
To have a degree in counseling and psychology courses you should be more concerned of your abilities and strengths than what couples think of your looks. If I had a big nose, should I be concerned couples not approve of me? You need more maturity I feel, no bad intentions, Luck..

Answer 5

Honestly, I think you should go ahead with your career plans. If counseling is what you love then do it. I wouldn't have a problem with you as a counselor as long as you dress and act professionally. You are a pretty woman but I would not, in any way feel threatened by you. Now, if a counselor looked like Marilyn Monroe...I might feel differently. Anyway, goodluck!

Answer 6

Ok.......lets talk.....there was a study done a few years back and repeated on a TV show where they changed a persons race.....Any way the study was about Beauty.....a attractive man went in to a female store asking for assistance and was pounced on ....A older fat balding guy with a non-matching outfit got ignored.

The same holds true here ....Your easy on the eyes and that may cause transference from the guys and resentment & envy from the ladies.


Your right looks shouldn't matter....but people don't always follow the rules ....

When people are valued for the content of the soul and mind ....instead of thier cup size or gleaming smile ...jails will be empty and the world will be a much nicer place......

Till then .... I wish you all the best in your chosen profession ... may your get the best clients who seek only your input and not your phone number !

Trust in your abilities & instincts.

Answer 7

You are very attractive, but it's silly to think that mature people with real problems would allow your looks to deter them from taking advantage of your counselling. If a couple cared enough to go through with seeing a counsellor, then it's likely that it wouldn't matter what you looked like. In the event that it did play a part, then some key points to the solution of their problem would be revealed and your job would be much easier.

Answer 8

I think this is a very interesting question, because I've noticed that therapists and psychiatrists seem to have an "act" that they hide behind that isn't quite a normal person. I've also noticed that it works...

The way you look is extremely important to gaining people's trust and making them feel at ease, especially people with low self-esteem, which you will be meeting regularly. If the person feels like you're just a regular person that's going to be hanging out drinking after work, telling everyone about the nut that you spoke with that day, then they aren't going to trust you with things they don't want to admit to anyone.

My advice:

Put your hair up, wear frumpy plain clothes, intellectual looking glasses, no make-up...develop a character that makes people relax around you. You're "the counselor", not "a girl that went to college for counseling".


And most of all, be good at your job.

Answer 9

I went through counseling with a now ex wife with a therapist who was very, very attractive. You are a beautiful woman but to be honest, this woman was far more attractive. I found her to be inteligent and insightful. She was a good therapist and did her best to help us. I did find it a bit uncomfortable at first in that I found her physically attractive but that soon was not an issue because it was clear that she was a professional and was there to help us. Unbeknownst to the therapist and I, my ex was a meth freak and was more interested in getting into the counselors pants than working on our problems. Most of which were caused by her drug abuse. Got to love those meth freaks!Bitter? Yeah, a little.

Answer 10

Obviously professionalism is the key, no matter how you look. In many ways, being attractive can work to your advantage, as you will have no doubt experienced. Attractive people are seen as easier to relate to, warmer, and more empathic than their less attractive peers. I'm sure you have seen these studies. Your looks should give you no more problems in counseling then they give you in everyday life and indeed may well work to your benefit. Good luck in your future career.