Is is ok for a spouse to put his brother on his life insurance policy with you and not his children?

Question

My husband and I have two babies. He recently started a new job and he wants to put his brother on his life insurance policy along with me. I asked him what about the babies. He caught an attitude with me and refused to answer me. He then told me that he had his brother on the policy from his last job. I feel so disrespected and hurt. I have never heard of a man doing this to his wife and kids. This among other disrespectful things he does and says makes me want to leave him. We have only been married just short of 3 years. Our babies are only 11 months old. What should I do? I feel that he ALWAYS puts his family before me and our children.

Answer 1

I can really understand why that would hurt you. In my opinion, and I have an 8 month old son ( and also married shy of 3 years), no it is NOT OK. Is his brother his twin or something, or are they really close? Does the brother have some sort of medical condition? Or is he trying to impress/buy him? Find out WHY...

Being a new mother isn't easy, but stand your ground. Those kids come first before a brother and if there was no policy/will, that's how the law would see the allocation of his belongs. Those kids are depending on you to fight for them.

Answer 2

First, I'm a service agent for an insurance company and I don't know where some of these people come up with their answers.

As the Insured the person has a right to put anyone on the policy as a beneficiary. Most people put the spouse as first beneficiary and their children as second beneficiaries in the event their spouse should parish at the same time as themselves. I have clients that name funeral homes, close friends and siblings as beneficiaries. As an agent, we advise the client as to who to make their beneficiary for the money is to help the insureds survivors after his/her death. It could be your spouse is only looking to make sure your children will be looked after financial should anything happen to him and through his brother he hopes this will be possible. I'm not saying he does not trust you to see to their financial future in the event of his death, just that sometimes money split between two parties for the same purpose makes some people feel they are doing their best to see that the money will be used for that purpose. Another way to look at it, you would have a share to use for your immediate needs while his brother would take a share and invest for the needs of the children in their future or when they became of age. Always remember a beneficiary can be changed at any time by the insured. When your children get older and more responsible for their own future he could change the beneficiaries.
I can tell you, when we write policies, as to who your husband names on his policy as his beneficiary you nor the courts can change. This belongs to him only and he has a right to name who ever he wants. The only time a court will overturn a beneficary is if it was changed just prior to the death of the insured and then only if it is contested. Life policies are not part of a will and do not go into probate as estate assests unless the beneficiary named cannot be found or is deceased.

Answer 3

If your husband put you as the beneficiary (100%) and his brother as the "contingent beneficiary" then don't worry. Basically all that means that if something should happen to you and your husband at the same time his brother would get the money. If your husband should die before you and you are named the beneficiary at 100% then you will get all of the proceeds.

Depending on the insurance company, your kids might not get the money until they turn 18. But the fact is they're going to need it when they're young.

Also, minor children, when they are the named beneficiaries of a life insurance policy, should that policy end up paying a death claim before they grow up, might end up receiving a lot of money, a lot sooner (as early as age 18) than they have the maturity to know what to do with it.

For this reson, rather than simply naming their children as beneficiaries or contingent beneficiaries, have set up trusts, to make sure that the money they have provided, through their life insurance, will be distributed more sensibly... on a schedule that they can predetermine using criteria that they have decided, in advance, that makes the most sense.

Answer 4

I really do understand you are hurt over this, but I would try talking to him rationally and see what he says. When I jump to conclusions without knowing the whole story my hubby gets defensive also, so I have tried a different approach lately, because we fight over stupid things, and then I don't ever get an answer because he is then mad! I agree with some of the others though, he really was looking out for your best interest . Some insurance company's won't allow you to put the kids on and if something were to happen to the both of you then his brother would get the money to take care of your kids, instead of some stranger (lawyer) deciding where the money should go, because there is no one else on the policy. And then if something just happens to him, you will get the money to take care of your family also. : ) good luck to you.

Answer 5

He's an idiot. With two kids you both need a will, for one thing, that spells out who gets the children if you both pass on together (car accident, etc.)

The only beneficiary is you... most policies don't even allow other beneficiaries unless the spouse signs (that's you.)

The secondary beneficiary is a trust for the children. If you don't want to have a trust, then he places "My Children" as the beneficiaries.

You also need term life insurance (not whole life or cash value) equal to 10 times his earnings that is separate from his job. Get 20 year level guaranteed renewable term. If you are young and don't smoke it will cost $10 a month for $250,000.

Answer 6

Does he have life insurance outside of this work life insurance that protects you and the kids? Ask him why he feels it is more important to take care of his brother rather than his wife and kids. If he won't change it, ask him to get policy that will provide for you and kids...just make sure you are owner of policy as owner controls the policy.

Answer 7

Actually a number of life insurance policies won't allow you to put anyone under the age of 18 as beneficiary on. He has you on the policy and if anything happens to him YOU will get the money in which to raise your children. I see nothing wrong with putting his brother on the policy as well.

Answer 8

There is much more here than just your question -- so the best guide to answer this problem is for BOTH of you to go to MARRIAGE counseling --- and that is the first step.

IF he is questioning the paternity of the children -- then DO the Responsible and Caring thing, and TAKE him and the Children to do DNA Testing right NOW! That way, shortly you will have the ANSWER -- and if that is one of the questions he has -- it WILL be either he IS or is NOT the father and there is NO DOUBT about the answer from that point onwards.

Answer 9

Why would he want his brother name on the policy does he not want his children taken care of if he dies he needs to put you and the children just in case something happen to him ,so there would be money to raise his children. He would have to live with his brother or his family if it was me.HE IS MARRIED WITH TWO BABIES SO ITS TIME TO GROW UP. good luck

Answer 10

Make sure that you have a will that leaves your assets to your children. That way any insurance proceeds you get if that nitwit dies have a way to reach your children. How did the insurance agent let him put his brother on without your permission. They can't do that around here!

He is definitely not putting his wife and kids first.