My husband is lazy! Help!?

Question

Yes he works 40+ a week, but so do I...plus I do everything in the house..all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping. I'm so sick of bitching about it, and even more sick about all the half *** projects that he starts and never finishes! We have talked about it, and I hear the samething over and over.."tomorrow I will work on that!" I think that I'm going to scream! I have even tried to motavate him with rewards (I know it soulds like I'm treating him like a kid)...what can I do?? Is this just part of being married?

Answer 1

If only there were an answer for that. I think most men do that crap. I'm off work right now because I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I could go into labor at any time(actually had to stop at 35 weeks because I did go into preterm labor), but until I had to stop I did everything too. Well I still do everything now except I'm not going to work too. I get up in the morning and take the dogs out, feed them, put coffee on for him(I don't drink coffee), do dishes, laundry, still unpacking from moving, get the groceries, cook, and clean. He's off right now too because he quit his job(he needed to believe me) and doesn't do anything to help. All he does is watch TV, sleep, and look for jobs. I've asked him several times and hinted around several more times about helping me a little and I get the same reaction you do, "I'll do it later" or "not right now". Fact is they are never going to do it and you'll be stuck with it either now or later, depends on when you get sick of looking at dirty dishes and clothes sitting around. I let dishes go for a week and a half, and he still didn't attempt to clean them, I mean we had absolutely nothing to eat off of or cook in. I finally went to the sink and started washing them, he says "I'm going to do those". I said yeah right after they grow mold or disinegrate. He would have never done them. I left a few that I didn't have time to wash before leaving for work and he didn't even wash them. Ask him what's so damn important that he can't accomplish anything else. See if that gets the wheels in his head turning.

Answer 2

I'm the husband in the scenario here. My wife has felt that she is the one who is always doing all the work around the house, and that I don't do much of the "chores."

My reasoning is that the work that I do do (besides my J-O-B) is my second passion of Internet Marketing. Which is my way of working to secure a much better life for us; financially, emotionally, and mentally. I don't necessarily get called lazy, as much as I know some men may be. But, it's really the same scenario.

What I do for my wife, that makes her happy is I try to do some of the small things around the house, when she hasn't asked for it, and I ALWAYS give her my deepest appreciation for the things that she does do for me. This makes her feel much better about doing the things she does for me.

The way my wife and I were able to come to this arrangement was truly just with some true, honest, & open communication with each other. Where neither of us is attacking the other for the "things we want the other to do," but rather just a heart felt conversation about how we are truly feeling with the load that each of us has, and how we would feel if the other were to TRY and help each other out when and where we can.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Hum I am not married and sort of had that problem myself with getting things done that really needed to be done.
What I did was make myself a to do list and as I completed each project I check them off.
Now I did not go out and buy myself rewards for each project that I got completed but I did have a sense of acomplishment.
There are still some things that I need to get done and I will get them done one by one and when they are all done then it is that 42" plasma TV that I want but that will come once I complete everyhting on my to do list .
If you have done this I really do not know what to tell you.
Good luck some men start something and never seem to get back to it that is just how some men are and I am not sure that they will ever change.

Answer 4

I have the same problem with my girlfriend we live together she works a ll night, I work all day. I do everything you do. She needs to sleep all day so she can work at night, thats why she can't do anything. Its a part of being married. Don't let him be a slacker. I work 40+ hours a week I can still get stuff done. If he doesn't want help than just take care of what you need to, for yourself or your kids. Let him cook his own supper or wash his own clothes. Its not unreasonable to divide up the household chores.

Answer 5

will i don't know about you but i had a problem like your's, so what i did was leave... i don't mean leave for good, like act like your so sick, it's over.... i left my man for 1 week, because we were always fighting about him, being to lazy, not doing anything, and not wanting to spend time with me. so one day i got sick of him, and told him i can't take it, if he don't change, i'm going to leave. he got mad and said go ahead, it's not like i need you. so i left... i got 1 week off, by my self.. it was great even tho i miss him so. but he came back and now he does things, not everything but some... hope you do something about it andgood luck....

Answer 6

Make him sleep on the sofa. Now he gets to sleep by himself, in the same room with the TV, next to the kitchen...never mind.

Answer 7

lol well in some part yes he is lazy because he know you well do it and he know he can get away with it he know you well ***** about it to blow off stream but he know you very well and you are letting him getting away with it you right he is just a kid why because you are letting him getting away with house choir lol.you cant teach old dog new trick but he teaching you his trick

Answer 8

It's a guy thing...it's about being in charge.Doing what you want when you want....Men don't hear half the complaints from
their wives anyway.
Ask around... It's the same story from every woman.

Answer 9

Stop doing things and see how long it takes him to ask why. Then tell him that when he starts doing stuff so will you.
You need to tell him exactly how you are feeling.

Answer 10

You know I had this same problem...and I was griping to my sister one day and she is 10 years older than me and she said she got tired of griping about it and did it herself...it causes less frustration between you and your husband...and you know it's getting done right!! My Pastor told me the same thing...(which is a woman)