do you think its OK to go threw your spouses emails,wallets ,phones,ipods ..etc..when is it wrong?or right?

Question

i am always going threw my guys stuff ,i have found things in the past that i think are no-no's.but he says that if i would stay out of his stuff i wouldnt see it ,therefor would't get mad .whos wrong ?

Answer 1

My wife and I are best friends. We have openly communicated to each other that it is ok to go through each others stuff (we have nothing to hide from each other).

I don't mind if she goes through everything I own, every day if she likes - as long as she puts it back where she found it. :)

If there is trust, respect and honesty neither of you should mind.

Neither of you should be sneaking around - you through his stuff, or he trying to hide stuff from you.

Answer 2

You both are. And it honestly sounds like neither of you contain the maturity required to have a healthy relationship.

First of all, you. You have NO right to go through your partners things, just as he has no right to go through yours. I've been married almost 10 years, and my husband STILL doesn't feel comfortable going in my purse, even when I ask him to. He says it's a matter of respecting someones privacy. I agree, and feel the same about his wallet. It's his. It's not my place to wander through it, nor would I want to. If I can't trust my partner, I have no right being with him.

Stop going through his things and gain some self respect. If you don't trust him, leave. Simple as that.

Secondly, him. His BS rationalization is one of the most juvinile approaches I've ever heard. He obviously has things to hide, and doesn't seem to much care that he could be hurting you in the process.

Honestly, you deserve each other.

Answer 3

do not get inebriated at the same time as celebrating because then you fairly probability screwing all of it up. I truly have finished this 3 cases over the past 12 months... i'm attending to point 3 or 4, then some evening I slug a gaggle of beers and get loose in the questions, and ultimately I tell some lady off and she comments me and that i'm getting suspended. So, do not do it. do not drink and YA once you're close to to the subsequent element.

Answer 4

It is important to trust your mate in a marriage. Has your husband given you a reason to not trust him? Even if he did, a man's wallet is sacred. If you truly know your husband, than there is no reason to be insecure. The only justifiable reason to go threw your husband things is if he needs medical attention, but you should already know that information. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

Answer 5

Yes, I think it's perfectly fine. People get upset and say I don't have anything to hide, but then they get upset because their privacy has been violated. I think once your married thier are to be no secrets anyway, so what would it matter. If he has had something to make you suspicious in the past by all means you should keep tabs on him and if he gets mad so be it. He is doing the wrong thing and then laying a guilt trip on you, don't let him do that.

Answer 6

I am sorry to say this but you are basically WRONG!
For over a decade my wife was an alcoholic. She would lie about her drinking, so I took it upon myself to search through every area of the house looking for her Vodka bottles, & I FOUND THEM! Like you, I would get mad. I would confront her with the evidence, & still she would deny that she was an alcoholic, & that just made me even madder!!!
When I was searching through her things to get my evidence I felt ashamed of myself for doing it, but I just kept on. I suspect that you feel ashamed of yourself as well, & that is what makes those of us who do this constant checking for the sake of our own peace of mind VERY SICK. Well what we do is sick, anyway.

The truth of the matter is, that you can search all you like, & find all the proof you need, but YOU WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING.

Either you trust him, or you don't. You can't force him to be trustworthy, & if he's lying to you he won't change unless he wants to.

You are trying to control him by POLICING him. I know because I did the same thing with my wife. The only person you truely control is YOURSELF. So either learn to trust him, or leave him, & find a guy you can trust. Because you will drive yourself & him crazy by trying to get dirt on him on your own.

If you REEEEEALY need to know, then hire a PI, & see if you can put your fears to rest one way or the other. But this going through his personal stuff is not only wrong. It just won't work.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

I never go threw my husbands wallet, or emails, not because I don't trust him, but because everyone has a right to their privacy. He would never go threw my personal belongings either. I think it's just a matter of courtesy.

Answer 8

Edit:Its Through not Threw ( I thought you were talking about throwing out his things at first)

If he is saying to stay out of him stuff then he is hiding something. I could careless if my hubby went through my cell, purse, computer, etc. Since I have nothing to hide.

Answer 9

well i think he right what you dont know wont hurt you.would you like it if he went though your stuff your purse your pants it sound like you dont have a life of your own and you want to make sure you are keeping your husband with a dog collar around his neck
you are going end up losing your husband sooner or later if you dont cut him some slack you should think about it .

Answer 10

It is wrong to prowl through your spouses belongings.
The ladies cannot stand it when their spouse goes through their purse. The men hate it when they go through their wallets. I would say 90% of them hate it.