My husband is a very laid back guy. Too laid back. He absolutely will not stand up to defend me or or our kids. I had a friend of his try to get me to cheat on my husband and I told him what had happened and he was upset but just shrugged it off shortly after. It really bothers me that he won't defend me. I have told him that it bothers me but he just says that he is non-confrontational. What can I do to get him to stand up for us when it's needed?
2006-11-29 13:28:23 · 25 answers · asked by momof3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ldsdevild hit it right on the head and I have told him just that. I lvoe him very much but having him stand up for us is very important to me.
2006-11-29 13:41:10 · update #1
He won't even confront his "friend". He is still talking to him! I felt very violated when his friend did that to me and it seems like my husband doesn't care.
2006-11-29 13:46:00 · update #2
Try telling him you want a real man. He doesn't have to fight, but standing up for his family is his job! Tell him you don't feel safe with someone that can't protect you.
2006-11-29 13:38:45 · answer #1 · answered by tightlies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well what would meet your standard of "Sticking up" ?
Does he have to go punch the guy in the nose, & then get put in jail for assault?
I agree that he needs to confront the guy, & I hope that he has cut him out of your lives because of this transgression.
I heard a very wise man who I admire say this one time.
"When you disrespect my wife, YOU DISRESPECT ME!"
Maybe your husband needs to adopt the same approach.
Meanwhile if he won't do it, then you can stand up for yourself.
1) Loud'n'proud tell your husbands "Friend" to go get bit.
2) Tell your husband that if he wants to still call this guy "Friend" that he can do it from the doghouse.
2006-11-29 13:41:10 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that before you married him you liked his laid back attitude towards things. You knew that he wasn't that way...right? So now that you are married, you have a guy who isn't into taking a stand. I'm afraid that won't change. Let me guess, you have the stronger personality type in the marriage..right?? Before you married you liked having the power or being the leader, so to speak in the relationship. Well, he isn't going to change. If you wanted a strong man, you should've married one. You have a laid back guy who just isn't going to do what you want just becuase you married him. You can talk to him and ask him if he would try standing up for you guys, but more than likey, he won't because he just isn't that type of person.
2006-11-29 13:35:50 · answer #3 · answered by Scott U 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him to grow some freeking balls and defend you and the kids. Because if you have boys they will see that and do the same later on. Its a mans job to defend his family. Good for you on not cheating, it says alot about you. I would forbid your husband from talking to that guy ever.
2006-11-29 13:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe hubby did nothing because he knows you would never cheat on him.Still he should have said something to his so-call friend for disrespecting his wife like that.
We had neighbors[men] in their late twenties riding four wheelers through our yard and hubby did nothing..Well, finally I took the old faithful shotgun and ran them off.They haven't come back since...
Some times you have to be the strong one..Get hubby's friend to come over,and tell both of them together that you don't appreciate being disrespected by either of them...
2006-11-29 13:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by ladybug 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do about it. Didn't you notice this about him when you married him? So why would you expect something different now? You made your choice and there are not alterations afterward. What you married is what you got too late to want to make the man into something he is not. isit worth leaving him over. If not take it like a woman and make yourself happy.
2006-11-29 13:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously trusts you enough not to worry about you cheating and some guys are not confrontational. As your husband if he feels there is something to defend then he will.
2006-11-29 13:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by shannyutz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since your husband's friend didn't succeed I assume; you didn't need defending. I don't know why else you and your children need him to defend you. Have you asked why any of you seem to be "attacked" and in need of defense? Is there any danger? If not, maybe he would rather you stand up for yourselves. Does he expect you to defend him?
2006-11-29 13:34:51 · answer #8 · answered by slush f 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he is the bigger person and doesn't want to start fights with people. I'm sure that if a very serious problem arose, he would stand up for you.
2006-11-29 13:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, tell his friend to FU3K OFF in no certain terms! Make sure this "FRIEND" is not alone with you at any time. Then tell his parents!
If his dad has any balls, he will talk to him and let him know you just might not be able to fight this jerk off next time. This may just wake Mr. Wimpy up.
2006-11-29 13:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋