We were happy i thought and i loved him dearly but now he aks like a teen and hes 26yrs old but he just wants us to be over and hes told the family that he is gay what to do?
2006-11-29 13:23:24 · 37 answers · asked by angel e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is his decision. Support him, respect him, and let him still be a father to his kids. Easier said than done..but it was not probably easy for him to come out because he knew that he would hurt people in the process. Just try to be there and be understanding and keep the communication open.
2006-11-29 13:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by Danielle 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is just finding the whole marriage and children thing a bit frightening at the moment. You have been married 7 years and have 3 kids and one on the way? and he was 19 when you got married? That's quite a lot happening!
Maybe he is gay, maybe not. It would be a good idea to get personal and relationship counselling to see where you both go from here. However, if he won't agree then you have a big problem on your hands.
I never think women should have more children than they can afford to bring up if they are left on their own, and that they can look after alone too. But the deed is done and the children are here, and gay or not, he has a responsibilty towards them. I hope he realises this.
2006-11-29 18:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear that. I cannot pretend to no what you are going through.So many times I have heard women say over and over again "I THOUGHT WE WERE HAPPY"men no how to hurt theirs no question about that.But what makes this more heart breaking is the fact that this man your husband the father of three kids and one on the way,he knew what he was right from the start .It sounds like he couldn't face his parents or his own demens with the fact that he is gay.So many gay men out there pretending to be something their not so they take the cowards way out.They marry a female become a husband ,have kids become a father, find a boy friend and become what they were meant to be in the first place.This man your husband has hurt a lot of people with his selfishness. If I were you I would take this so called man for everything he has and I would enjoy doing it to him.I do wish you all the luck in the world. YOUR FRIEND! "TEENY"
2006-11-29 17:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes just now figuring out that he is gay!! Bull, I don't believe that. I had someone in my family pull the same thing. Had 5 kids, then, one day woke up and decided he was gay, left, noone heard from him for 2 years, then he popped up, stated had been out finding himself. How selfish! His poor wife had to support and raise these kids by herself while he was out doing no telling what. Now he is back in the pic with his boyfriend doing all of the fatherly things he should have done a long time ago. Anyway, the ex wife is fine with their situation and remain good friends. Your husband might have experimented and now is feeling guilty and confused. Just be strong for your kids, it is not your fault. Hopefully the family will be supportive of whatever decision you make. Good Luck!
2006-11-29 13:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by Debcee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Egads! What a shock that must be. Well, it would seem unlikely that he'd make that up to get out of the marriage because he told everyone. Has there been another man this whole time? Or men? Make sure you get tested, which I'd recommend even if he had an affair with another woman. You just never know. Do they test for that now automatically when you're pregnant? I haven't been pregnant in a long time, and things are always changing.
In addition, I would agree he needs to keep his responsibilities to you and his kids financially and be a part of their lives. You should encourage that. I know this is an emotional blow for you, but keep your chin up! You are young and there is time to sort this out and make a life for yourself and your kids.
2006-11-29 13:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
geeee some blokes know how to chuck a spanner in the works and %$&/ peoples lifes !!!!
i really feel for you what a awful situation to be in, i guess theres no point trying to hang on to your husband if he wants out as it will only make you very unhappy and always wondering what he is up to. Perhaps you should go it alone and hopefully your family will stand by you (and maybe some of his) i guess you are hurting very much but do remember TIME is a great healer
I wish you all the best
2006-11-29 14:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I am sorry for you, I know your heart is broken, Do you have someone in your family that you live with for a while until you can get yourself half straighten out. Why now after having 3 kids
impregnating with a fourth. Go to a atty. file for a divorce seeking custody of your children, make him pay for the divorce and child support for rest of your children and your new baby. Make him Pay and pay and pay or send his sorry *** to jail for non support
You can get help from the state, if has a job garnish his wages each payday..
2006-11-29 13:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that you need to file for divorce and carefully explain to your children that mommy and daddy won't be living together anymore. I would make sure you are very careful how you explain it to them. Make sure you try to focus your energy on taking care of them even though I am sure this is tearing you up inside.
Kick his butt out of the house ASAP. This man had to have at least a suspicion that he was gay prior to now. You are having your fourth child and now he tells you!?! That is inexcusable...I would let him leave and make it be over so that you can move on...you deserve to be treated so much better than that...
Good luck...
2006-11-29 13:34:36 · answer #8 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you confronted him about telling the family that he is gay? For one thing I think that it is horrible that he wants to split after 7 years. What kind of man is this to treat his wife with such disrespect. For crying out loud you have bor three of his children while you guys have another on the way. What I think you should do is confront him as him how he can face his children and ask how he is going to tell his child why he is going to leave mommy. Make him feel small for what he has done because it is a horrible thing to do to his wife. You are better off with out him. What kind of man tells people he is gay to get out out of his responceablies (sorry horrible spelling)
2006-11-29 13:32:29 · answer #9 · answered by The_Morbid_One 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
surely he still loves his kids?
whatever episode his life is at, he's definitely marginalised his life from you so the best you can do is concentrate on what you have to do.
if i were you, i couldn't sign the divorce papers fast enough.
get rid of him while you still love him.
it'll hurt more now but the long term pain will be less that way.
as consolation, find yourself a better future than the one you envisioned with him, really concentrate on developing yourself and perfecting your relationship with your family and your kids.
let him be a nut case. being gay is fine but abandoning wife and kids is certainly a case of diminished responsibility, he's a hazardous fool and i would get him out of your life and away from the kids asap. let him do what he's got to do.
prepare yourself for the aftermath
my sympathies, all the best...
2006-11-29 14:18:45 · answer #10 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋