My husband can't get me pregnant and we aren't made of money so we found someone else to do the deed with me so we could have children. We now have 2 beautiful girls and I'm expecting a boy in March. Since he and I both made the choice to have children this way, why does everyone think I'm a cheater or that we don't love each other and respect each other? It's only sex people, nobody expects you to make the same choice. I was happy to sleep with someone else to give my husband children, is that so bad?
2006-11-29 12:09:07 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your husband is okay with it then to hell with everyone else. i respect the fact that you guys want to procreate. I guess they wonder why you could not just adopt. If they were willing to open thier wallet to help with the expensive process of artificial insimination then they have a legitimte gripe, if not tell them that they were not your real friends anyway and its none of thier business.
lol
2006-11-29 12:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by Tonne B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen, It's not wrong to want to have children, But I as a Husband would be appalled by some one else being with my wife. Now I know your bio clock was probably ticking, but there are other ways to get pregnant. The real question is, if you don't have a whole lot of money to get pregnant, then how do you plan to pay for your children and give them a Chance in this world. I understand that it was a agreement between you and your spouse but ....... How would you feel if your husband had impregnated another woman so that you could have children he might not be showing it but believe me He is pissed of and you might see trouble down the road. I do on the other hand wish you the best and i hope everything works out for you. P.S. No one should have known about this except you and your husband, there for if no one knows..... then no one cares.
2006-11-29 12:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by matt v 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't really wrong, or even cheating. But, there are a lot of possible problems. What if your other guy decides to seek custody? Do you plan to explain the situation to the kids? What if they want to have a relationship with "real" dad? Who would be responsible for supporting the children IF you divorce? The husband can rightly say he isn't the father. You could have used a sperm bank, rather than just finding another guy to father the kids. That would have eliminated many possible problems.
2006-11-29 12:27:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you did anything wrong. Maybe people would not agree with your methods and I am sure you will get many religious and/or pompous people on here telling you that you're a bad person, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you wanted children that badly and there is no issue with jealousy on your husband's part I don't think it's so bad. The only thing I am concerned about is how you will tell your childeren when the time comes. Are you going to tell them at all? And how will you do it if you do? I don't think you did wrong but I think you opened a big can of worms here.
2006-11-29 12:13:30 · answer #4 · answered by Charlie Girl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No. If you wanted children and it was acceptable for both of you.
Why even fret over other peoples opinions. Ignore it. Don't even try to seek acceptance of others. Quite frankly it is NOT THEIR BUSINESS. My family learned a long time ago their opinions were duly noted but never played a part in my decision making.
I know I love my children and knew I always wanted them. If that was my only option I would not have stopped myself based on others opinions or second guessing if I did the right thing. You did it so be it! Move on and don't let fretting about it rob you of that extra moment with your children.
2006-11-29 12:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by just_ole_nanny 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is just most people don't know what goes on behind closed doors. And the idea that you would sleep with someone other than your husband makes others think that there is something wrong with your marriage.
If that is the choice that you and your husband made together then that is your business no one elses.
I hope things work out OK and enjoy the little ones.
2006-11-29 12:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by Sally V 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Thats wierd, but only because its not the conventional way that people in that situation get preggers.Was there any screening of who this man would be or just some guy outta the bar ?...I would be wondering how the heath line of this person is but then again maybe you know this person well . I hope he is the same father for all 3 kids and not 3 different men.Its wierd yes...but all that matters is that YOU and your HUBBY are happy and take good care of the kids.
2006-11-29 12:15:19 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's commendable that your husband is willing to do whatever it takes to have children. It's difficult to have a third person involved in a relationship even if it is only for the sake of procreation. If you're not seeing the father of the children on the side and are still happily married, screw everyone else!
2006-11-29 12:29:13 · answer #8 · answered by ladyalhanna34 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't see anything wrong here, as long as everything was above board and it seems like it was a decision you and your husband made together. I agree with other writers in that I wouldn't have discussed the details much with others, however now that you have I wouldn't elaborate on it. Maybe if you had told them you used a turkey baster to get pregnant they wouldn't think as much about it!You have the family you wanted and that is what counts God bless you.
2006-11-29 12:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No one should judge you in that situation. It sounds a little strange but oh well...As long as you, your husband, and children are happy dont worry about it. If your husband agreed then no you are not a cheater....If a man says you are then asked them if they would be cheating if their wife invited another woman into the room...Most men would say NO and gladly change their oppinion.
2006-11-29 12:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by nekiawhitaker 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋