I'm 19 years old nearly 20 and my boyfriend is 22. We have been together for 6 years since we were kids, we have grown into different people and i'm on the verge of leaving him. I just found out i'm pregnant i want to keep the baby but he wants me to abort it, i had a abortion 2 years ago which he force me into it and i regret it everyday. I know i should do what i want but i dont want to ruin his life either. Would it be selfish to leave him and have the baby?
2006-11-29 12:05:23 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
That is probably why you are leaving him in the first place.
If you are leaving him anyway, why worry what he wants. He was grown enough to make the baby, he is grown enough tho take responsibility for the baby.
If you don't want an abortion then don't get one. You already done it once, and as you said you regret it, so why regret it again?
If he doesn't want to be in the baby's life, maybe that is best for the baby and you. If you want, take him to court for child support. If you think you can raise the baby by yourself, then why mess with him, if he doesn't want to be part of the baby's life.
Good luck with everything, and make your own decision. Don't let anyone else decide for you!!!
2006-11-29 12:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have the baby if that's what your heart tells you to do. I would to be honest. He sounds like he has some growing up to do. You can get support from WIC and the Healthy Start Program if needed. You can do this. Hopefully your family will stick by you and help you as well. Don't give in to him wanting an abortion. You have the call whether or not to do it and it sounds like you don't want to, so don't. It is not selfish to leave him and have your precious baby. I know you care about him, but you have more important things to care about now- the first being your baby! He should have thought about all of this a loong time ago. He needs to learn that you can't just have sex if you don't plan on having children. I became pregnant off the birth control pill... had a boyfriend at the time, but we ended up getting married- only because we were in love with one another- not because of our baby. We had a pretty strong relationship though. Things like that can happen when you least expect them... so try to prepare yourself as much as you can, and first step is going to the doctor to make sure you and baby are healthy! Goodluck!
2006-11-29 20:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
If you want to keep this baby do not allow anyone to "force" you not to have it. Are you financially stable? Do you have people in your life who could help you while you are at work, etc.? You would not be ruining anyone's life by keeping the baby. Your boyfriend is an adult and knows there are consequences to his actions - this is a beautiful consequence but it may not seem so to him. He is legally obligated to make child support payments. If he refuses to see the child please make sure you have the emotional support to get through it. The baby is yours. It is growing right now inside you. You have a choice; nothing is black & white. I know many people will judge you because you've been in this predicament before, but don't let them upset you. I'm sure you're aware that birth control is a must unless you're specifically trying to have a child. You can go to parenting classes before he/she is born. Remember, raising a child is a HUGE responsiblity. It is also, however, a decision to bring beauty into the world. If you cannot keep your child please consider adoption. It's a lovely way to give a baby a new and wonderful life. All the best with your decision. I will think of and pray for you.
2006-11-29 20:17:26 · answer #3 · answered by Me, Thrice-Baked 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is selfish of him to demand that you have an abortion. You have to do what you believe in your heart to be the best and right thing for YOU, not him. If you want to keep your baby then you have to determine whether or not you are ready to raise a child. You also have to realistically evaluate what kind of support system you have in your life as far as friends, family and others who will help you.
Speaking to you as a woman who, when I was in my early 20's, had to make a similar decision I will tell you that there are no easy, painless answers here. I sincerely hope with all my heart that whatever you decide, you decide based on what is best for you and your potential child. My heart goes out to you!
Listen to women in your life who have faced a similar delimma. (Hint: most women have!) Don't listen to people who judge you harshly and please don't judge yourself harshly, whatever you decide. You are a human being and you are fallable, as are we all. If you have to accept any form of public assistance to keep you and your little one warm and fed, than you do it with your head held high and be proud to have undertaken a difficult and rewarding job. If, on the other hand, you decide that the best thing for you is to terminate the pregnancy, do that also without shame, knowing that you have made the decision which allows you to take care of yourself and offer any children you may have in the future a better chance in life. This is a tough one. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you have a mom or an aunt or a grandma that you can go to and get the hug I would like to be able to give you!
Keep your chin up!
2006-11-29 20:28:31 · answer #4 · answered by blytle68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not selfish to want to keep your baby. I don't think you would want to be with someone who would force you to undergo a procedure like this - not once, but twice. If you stay with him, how many more times will you go through this? It's time to make the break from him.
You do need to think about whether you can support and raise a baby on your own. I wouldn't expect financial support from him unless it's court-ordered. That is a route you could take. But you might also just *consider* adoption, if you decide you're not ready to be a single parent. If you have supportive family and friends, maybe you will be fine. You just have to analyze your situation and decide what's best for you and your baby.
2006-11-29 20:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by milomax 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your baby God will never give you more than you can bare. When I got pregnant with my first son, his dad told me he was my baby because he didn't want any kids. So I cried until those tears dried up, I got up and I did what I had to do I was the same age as you. I am married now with a great husband and another baby. I'm not saying that it will be easy but the pain of aborting your baby will be harder in the long run.
2006-11-29 20:18:00 · answer #6 · answered by Alicia S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you decide you want to abort,
definitely consider adoption instead...
You already have regrets about the first abortion..it will only make you feel worse the second time around!!personally,I am against abortion..as for the father,which I know deep down you love him still...have the baby!! I think it's best you separate for a while..let him know you are keeping THIS baby..!!After the baby is conceived,I bet you he will fall in love with him/her..if he doesn't,at least you will have a new wonderful precious human being in your life!!Good luck..I wish you the best!
2006-11-29 20:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by First Lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two should talk about this issue together and discuss, and you should not abort the baby, child is a gife from God. You already had a abortion 2 years ago, and you regret, ask yourself, do you wanna abort this baby and regret for the rest of your life?
2006-11-29 20:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by •°o.O чĀпИǎĤ O.o°• 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as your ready to take care of a baby by your self no its not selfish but if your thinking of you and not how the babys life will be that is selfish.how will u support this baby alone dont do day cares right away cuz that baby needs its mom.now if you know what your doing i say go for it your not ruining his life if your taking care of the baby thats that and he can still do whats he wants and a little money from him wont hurt.this is your choice and if u really want this baby have it regardless of what he says if your spliting from him its about u and your baby just know its hard being a parent and i hope your up for it good luck
2006-11-29 20:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by tracemiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way that would be selfish. If I was in your position I would definitely keep the baby. Do not let any guy tell you what to do. You will end up regreting it again. So, I hope you make the right decision for you. Good Luck.
2006-11-29 20:18:00 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋