I'm going through a divorce say I speak, I let my soon to be exwife, do,say,have and anything else you can think of.I was told that I SPOILED her, If I had to do it over I would not have treated her like a queen.I'm the type of person that it's hard for me too tell someone I'm close to NO...My Question is what would you have done differant in your marriage to make it better?
2006-11-29 11:50:56 · 10 answers · asked by cra r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After 11 years of marriage, I have become more self confident and more outspoken in my marriage. In the beginning, I was too eager to please and compromised some of own ideas. Now, I am very different, and it works out better that I am.
If I could change anything, I would have been the strong person that I am today 11 years ago.
2006-11-29 11:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I had a husband like you. He treated me like an idol, but for some reason, I just didn't feel comfortable with him. As far as I was concerned, we were not compatible and should never have got married in the first place. I feel really sorry for the pain I put him through, and we are still friendly.
To answer your question. I don't think it has anything to do with the way you treated her, unless she would have liked you to be a bit more assertive and not such a pushover. If that spark isn't there, there's nothing you can do.
Even though you are experiencing a lot of pain and self doubt now, I'm sure you will find someone who will appreciate your fine qualities. My ex-husband did and he's happy now.
2006-11-29 11:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by The Gadfly 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kinda late to start with the "what ifs". It sounds like you did your best to treat her like a princess and it just didnt work out. It happens sometimes. Do you really think that if you said or did something different, things would be actually be different now. There is no manual out here that explains what to do or not do to have the perfect marriage. No person out here has all the answers to one either. Life is full of chances everyday and you took one with her and you did what you felt was right and it proved to be the wrong thing for her. You probably did what anyone of us guys would have done, but it just wasnt meant to be. You sound like a man that any woman out here would love to have so dont change, just be yourself and pick up the pieces, learn from this and move on. Good luck
2006-11-29 12:03:51 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.
Marriage may be compared to a plant that requires daily nurture, daily attention, daily care and cultivation. It will not develop of its own accord; only as effort and will are exerted will it grow and mature. For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be committed to its success. They must build an enduring love relationship that is centered in the heart of their consciousness. Their relationship must be nurtured with the water of loyalty and love.
2006-11-29 12:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not put her on my checking account or any of the credit cards with my name on them too.... Not trust her on her nights out so freely.. and kept her on a short chain when she wanted to go out of town with her friends so late in the evenings... Make her get a JOB and to be more responsible instead of taking her BS for granted all the stinking time...That about sums it all up on this end !
2006-11-29 12:11:29 · answer #5 · answered by puppylovetfp.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...
from the female version of what you just said ?
I would do it differently & been more of a taker than a giver...
I was treating him like a king, he had it all, but all was not good enough,
now he has nothing & there will be a wonderful man out there who sincerely will take my all some day & give in return....
2006-11-29 12:37:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the key here is to find somone who appreciates you for who you are and what you do.
Both of my marriages went down the drain when I realized I was not being appreciated for who I was or what I brought to the marriage. Resentment slips in and if it's not disuscussed and resolved then it like a death sentence. I suppose my answer to your question is More Healthy Communication.
2006-11-29 11:59:16 · answer #7 · answered by Texanborn 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing that could be done in my case. When it's over, you've already tried to make it work by then.
2006-11-29 11:54:08 · answer #8 · answered by Chula 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have looked for her earlier! Married her first, and then live happily ever after!
2006-11-29 11:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have declined the proposal.
2006-11-29 11:53:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋