My wife and I are having a disagreement on my desired career change and where I want to move to.?

Question

I have always wanted to live in NJ near my family and work as a HS Biology teacher. In fact, while I was in the service I worked in a Master's in Education. I got a teaching job offer but turned it down to earn a higher income. I have been doing my current job for more than a year but I am still willing to give up the pay to do what I want and teach.

The problem, my wife loves our home, our town, and our lifestyle. I would give it up to live a more modest lifestyle and live near family. My wife has no significant family that she cares to live near.

She drives a Volvo, lives in a $400,000 house, and has a ski condo all supported by an inheritance from her mom and my higher salary. She is a secretary makes half the income I do. She doesn't want to give up some luxuries and move into a small house in my hometown.

Am I being selfish for cutting my salary in half and asking my family to live a more modest life so that I can do the job I have always wanted to and live nea

Answer 1

Your wife is being soo selfish! I think you should do what you have always wanted to do. I think you should follow your dreams and I think your wife SHOULD support you in every aspect of your life. You seem like a very good man. I agree about living close to your family. At this point in my life, I am away from my family but it is b/c I am married, my husband has a good job here, and im currently enrolled in nursing school here. I sure would love to move back, but getting to my point. YOU BOTH HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES IF YOU TRULY LOVE EACH OTHER! I the she is too used to her being the queen. Dont get me wrong im not saying its a bad thing, but sometimes you just have to put your foot down for what you really love to do! I wish you all both luck!

Answer 2

Not really, but a marriage does consist of two people with each their own ideas. Now with all your education time has come to learn the fine art of compromise. You will have to come up with a way to show her that there is life in small towns and the advantages of moving there and what she can look forward to. You have to come up with an idea that will convince her that this change will be good for her too, and that this move has alot of possibilities for your future life together. Find a way to make this work, a way to make her lifestyle work in your hometown. No one ever said this would be easy but then nothing good in life ever is. Good luck and remember COMPROMISE

Answer 3

when you get married, there's no more "my career change" and "what I want to do"... everything should be "our", BUT I think she has gotten used to being spoiled and is selfish if she doesn't think about your happiness. If you would be happier doing something you love doing, then she should be behind you 100%. If you keep doing stuff you would rather not, you might not be around for very much longer. She needs to understand that for men, being happy in their job is EXTREMELY important. I'd venture to say that having purpose to our work life is way up there in importance with sex.

Answer 4

Dude just imagine if you lost your job now, she would have to adjust, right? well pretend you just lost your job and "be forced to take a less-paying job" move and go back to NJ. Be where you want to be and you ARE happy with your job. Money helps, but it is really not everything.

Answer 5

She is the one being selfish, as long as you guys are together it should not matter where you live, follow your dream or you will always wonder what if.

teaching is a very rewarding career, she should be happy to help you fulfill your dream

Answer 6

I don't think you are being selfish. I think she is driven by material things that are given to her. If she really wants to continue that lifestyle you'd think she'd do something to help earn the money to sustain it.

Answer 7

i'm sorry, yet I even have 2 infants and bypass to college finished-time, and yet i'm getting NO help from my husband on chores, no longer to show having a maid, mom's time out application, or nanny. She has the extreme-existence, and perchance it has long previous somewhat to plenty to her head. on a similar time, I combat in specific circumstances with my husband, even though it is often approximately maximum human beings of issues falling on me, (for the reason that I learn, shelter childrens, clean, and get far much less of a wreck than he does even working his job). one factor approximately some women human beings you're able to attain is that we are going to permit issues slide previous that we don't remark approximately, even though it particularly is going to certainly we start to enable them to fester until eventually the slightest social gathering gadgets us off. With me, it particularly is having to spend hours an afternoon cleansing up messes my husband and childrens make without help from my husband, and with you spouse it feels like she misses you and does not permit those thoughts practice until eventually she merely explodes. we are very curious creatures, and we are able to permit issues bottle up until eventually we've little administration over our thoughts. merely attempt to describe issues somewhat extra, like concerning the way you're able to artwork plenty impressive now, and it particularly is merely no longer an enduring subject, and perchance she will understand somewhat extra effective and not internalize for the period of those circumstances shes sitting at homestead desiring you to be there. solid luck, and desire this gives you some sight into the stay-at-homestead-mom psyche!