I am a 36 year old virgin and this is what bothers me. Would you please take a look?

Question

I have been obeses from birth (i come from an obeses family, almost everyone is obese on both sides of my parents) so I don't have much control over being this way. I have been using online dating sites for years and I always put up a fake picture on my ad to garner interest and hopefully the woman will find that I have a good heart and am overall good person. When I meet my internet matches I never see them again. Could it be because I am large? I have even been called a few names in my day for being decieving about my pictures but I know that a woman will never give me the time of day if I put up my true pictures. I am really tired of people being so judgemental! Are their any medium size women who don't care about a man's weight??

Answer 1

Posting a false photo of yourself is excatly the same as lying, that could be why you are getting the negative attention. Try accepting and loving yourself and maybe then someone else will!

Answer 2

I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't even post this but I think I will. You are your own worst enemy. And until that changes the rest of your life will circle the bowl until it makes that final flushing sound.

First you say, "I know that a woman will never give me the time of day if I put up my true pictures".

Then you follow it with, "I am really tired of people being so judgmental".

Now just who is the JUDGMENTAL one here?? How can you know they are judgmental, you never give them a chance. You lie to someone and they are judgmental. Pull your head out of you posterior and have a look at the head games you are playing. Just curious, what other lies do tell these people? Are you telling them you are the CEO of a fortune 500 company with more money than Bill Gates? I bet they don't like it when they find out you flip burgers all day for minimum wage.

Give yourself some credit and give those around you some as well. If you don't like yourself no one else will either.

BTW, there are fat women out there if that is what you want. In fact they are everywhere. Check the fast food chains and ice cream shops.

Of course you can keep on lying, after all that has worked well so far...

Answer 3

Man, I really get you. Now I myself am not struggling with weight, but half of my best guy friends were MORBIDLY obese. Here's a little thing: There is such thing as a female chubby chaser. That is a woman who actually LOVES guys who are big. http://www.largeandlovely.com/

check out that site. Listen: I have a 26 year old friend who weighs 610 lbs and he has a model for a wife who looks like Tara Reid with a rocking body. Don't give up hope. Oh and by the way if you do find a woman who loves you for being huge, let her feel your body, too! give her what she wants. good luck.

Answer 4

First of all, I would be more put off by the deceit of a fake pic than anybody's body size. It would lead to me to believe that everything you told me was untrue.

If you are morbidly obese, see a doctor. There is help out there.

Try a site like eharmony, where they do an in-depth profile, answer all the questions honestly, provide a genuine pic, and they will find people who match you, exactly as you are.

You may want to consider counselling to work on your self-esteem.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Um, you say you don't want people to be judgemental about size but then you say "medium size women". That is judgemental as well. Also wrong picture = liar. Women want honesty. I also have to say personals are just another meat market and not all they a cracked up to be so don't lose heart just because the people on there are just as shallow as the people in the real world. You'll find someone one day. Hopefully we all will.

Answer 6

Hi, I'm not a woman so I can't help in that department.. =) But I just wanted to point something out that I'm sure you've already thought of. You must consider that when people are decieved, they have no way of trusting in any of the things that you have discussed with them prior to meeting for the first time. John, you must use a real and updated picture of yourself when participating in online dating. I know you have been reluctant to do this but... if someone out there is going to put thier trust in you having never met you before only to find out that you are something different from what they had been led to believe, you are setting yourself up for failure. Someone is going to find you and love you for who you are. But before they do, you have to give yourself and those seeking you out, a fair chance at it. Good luck John. You must love yourself and be confident in yourself and then others will follow your example.

Answer 7

I think the problem starts with you putting the fake pictures.
Remeber, you want a woman to fall in love with who you are, so if she comes to meet you thinking you're a beefy looking guy and finds that ......your not....she's NOT going to stick around.
Have this much confidence in yourself that even though you are obese your personality is good enough to win over any woman.
So, place YOUR picture on your profile and you will find that there ARE WOMEN who will like you for who you are.

Answer 8

I am sorry that you are going through such a bad time while dating. I would not be upset at the fact that you are large but I would be more upset with a person who deceives me. Honesty is always the best policy. You have to love yourself unconditionally before anyone can love you. I know thin men and women with the same problem of not finding a date or the right person due to how they feel about them self not their outward appearance. Anything the mind perceives, you can achieve. No one wants to be with a person regardless of size that lacks confidence and unconditional love for them self. Good luck and learn to love yourself exactly the way you are. Let me let you in on a secret. I was overweight after having my baby because I was depressed and did not love myself. After I worked on my self esteem and my self worth, I lost weight because I was no longer eating to try to fill the void of being unhappy. Loving yourself not only change how people feel about you, it also makes you strive to improve yourself and lifestyle. :-)

Answer 9

Maybe you could start by posting your real picture as your id here. That way you can ask us women here questions, and we can answer you honestly while putting a face to the question. Attraction should not be based on looks, but unfortunately it is. Once women get to know you for the sweet guy you really are, along with the picture of the "real you", I'm sure you'll find someone to share your time with.

Answer 10

I think what you should do is put up a real picture of who you are. The one for you will look past your flaws and see the person you really are deep down. Yes, there are many superficial people in this world, but if you put your picture up, of the way you really are, you'll know who really wants to get to know you. Otherwise, don't bother wasting your time with such people.

Good luck!

Answer 11

Sorry, but your problem stems from the fact that you are not honest when promoting yourself. The biggest question that comes to mind from that is - what else are you not telling about yourself?
Be honest. A really great woman, who is meant for you, will NOT be turned away by your looks. She WILL be turned off by your dishonesty however.
Be more confident in yourself. Be strong enough to say, "This is who and how I am. If you don't like it, bite me."
Just like women have to kiss a lot of toads to find that prince, men have to do the same.
Good luck in your quest for the lucky lady!