How can u stop living in the past? I mean how can u let go of a past that has hurt u so much?

Answer 1

It is not easy to let go of the pain caused you in the past. It takes alot of soul searching on your part, to clearly define what it is you are feeling, and trying to decide how to deal with those feelings in a positive and rebuilding way. And then start practicing it.
The hardest part of all is to seperate yourself from whoever hurt you, and realize that whoever or whatever hurt you in the past is seperate from YOU. You have the power to CHOOSE what you want to be like, and how to react to what has happened to you. You are in charge of your life, and noone can take that from you. You can relinquish it to someone else, but only if you allow it. But ultimately you are in charge of your life, including how you choose to ACT upon what has happened to you, and how it has affected you.
At some point, with careful effort, and continued practice, you can learn to control your thoughts, your responses, and even gain insights into what happened, and choose to not REACT to the past hurt, but to ACT in the present moment according to your own best desires, being your own best self, in any given situation. I am not saying that it is easy, but it can be done.
In time you can even disassociate yourself from whatever hurt you, and hopefully even forgive.
We are not all blest with the same understanding, loving kindness from others, or even personality traits. But none of us are perfect. I am not perfect, but I try to do the best I can, which I never think is good enough somehow, even if others think it is. I hope to be forgiven by others for my blunders and mistakes. Some who hurt us may not even care if they are forgiven or not, it doesn't matter. It matters, if YOU forgive them, because they are not perfect. It will release YOU, so that you can get on with your life. But this may come only with time.
You probably will never forget the hurt it caused you, but it will become less severe, and penetrating in your daily life.

As long as you keep thinking about the past, and the hurt you endured, you are focusing on the PAST, and forgetting to see the PRESENT moment, and living in it. What is it YOU would love to to in you life now? What do you look FORWARD to? Set some goals. Dream about a happy future, and try to avoid missing those things because you are stuck in the past, which cannot be un done.
I know it is hard to get past it, but it can be done. But you must take control of your life, and not let the past control you.
Best wishes and my sympathy to you.

Answer 2

Stop Living In The Past

Answer 3

I believe that you're correct in feeling deceived. Your husband is alright with moving forward because he's been aware of the real situation all along- he knew how uncertain he was of things. You, however, were unjustly kept in the dark about his misgivings, and are just now being hit with the bomb of learning that everything you've trusted in was being questioned in his heart... It's great that you can say that he's a good man. That means that you've still got a good foundation to build on. He's got to realize that your foundation was shaken by this revelation, though. Jeopardizing your dreams of a family shows an even more sinister reluctance to face the truth. Concerning something so important to you, he should have brought his thoughts into the light so they could be addressed, rather than manipulating circumstances to keep you from getting pregnant and therefore allowing him to continue not to face his doubts about the relationship. I would recommend that you find a counselor that can assist your husband in seeing how damaging this was to you, and give you both some help in how to work out things better as your marriage continues. Marriage is about give and take, continuing to compromise and support one another on your journey together. By hiding his misgivings about your relationship, your husband was doing anything but. Maybe he didn't have the courage to possibly hurt your feelings, maybe he didn't want to cause arguments or fighting and didn't want to 'rock the boat'. Whatever the reason, it wasn't the right thing to do, and your relationship would probably be helped by working out how to prevent this from happening again in the future.

Answer 4

The missing point......

It's hardest to let go of a hurt in the past when much of what you were looking forward to can no longer happen because what you lost or were hurt by.

Sometimes people dwell on the past because they don't have the capability to project anything in the future, can't set priorities, goals etc.

Some times they are discouraged because so much is disapointment or hurt, in which they may not have the skills to reach what they are always trying for, or don't have the judgement to pick good people for friends.

If nothing else, do something different.

Answer 5

You will always remember what has hurt you so much but life goes on, and you will move on, after time, so you must give yourself that time to grieve for whatever it is that has hurt you. Once you have had the time, you will move on. Try, and I only said "try", because I know how painful it is, to change some of your lifestyle, ie, go shopping with friends, met new people, play sport, go to the gym, etc etc, and I know you will have to force yourself, but it is worth it , believe me. Depending on what it is, (its a bit hard to answer, as you have not given alot of information) but sometimes it is better to face the problem directly and release the hurt within you. If its being 'in love' with someone, that has moved on, I know it is very hard to let go, but believe, if you have been hurst SO much, then you are better off without that person. Go on get up, get dressed up, get the hair done, and get out there, and before you know it, you wont be giving that hurt another thought. Good Luck...........

Answer 6

It's been 2 years and a half since I broke up with my exboyfriend. I still constantly think about him, and love him. My boss at work looks alot like my ex, so it's a constant reminder about my ex. My ex was obsessed with porsches, and everytime I see one, I always think about him. In fact, my boss has a porsche. See what's it like??? On the other hand I can't get back with him, because we constantly fought, and he was a little older than me, and so we clashed alot because of the age difference. I know till this day he still thinks about me, probably as much as I do him. Under our circumstances, we never had closure. He went out of town, for a weekend, and when he came back he didn't find anything of mine at the house. I never saw him again, and we've only spoken a few times, and emailed eachother several times. That's about it. I only wish we would've had some closure, I think that would've helped alot. I miss him a ton, but I've learned to live with it. Unfortunately, It's just a part of everyday life, until it just goes away....

My suggestion, get a new haircut, or a new sexy outfit....and get on www.myspace.com ...lol ;)

Answer 7

Just take it one day at a time and look for small things that make the world great. Reconditioning yourself to a new life takes time, you're not going to get through it in one day, month, or in very bad situaitons one year. Just remember that you're disciplining yourself into a new, better person, and always remember that you ROCK!

Answer 8

I know this may sound dumb, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. My husband was hurt very badly before we ever got together. It took me forever to break through his shell he built around himself. I think that only gave our love that much more strength, and it let him know that I loved him and I would give him all the time he needed.

Answer 9

i no exactly how u feel it's hard 2 let go all the things dat have happened 2 u but look ahead there is a bright future ahead of u good luck

Answer 10

ok this is easy ya heard all u must do is ignore it (my ant is a phycolgest i know) u know like dont think of it try that ok gd luk