I am wondering what to do? My soon to be ex-husband has partical custody of our son, and last year he had him for thanksgiving, christmas and new years. No this year he gave me an altimatum about this upcomming holiday, he either gets him for one or the other. I do not think this is fair. I need some real advice, no bullshit. Thank you for your help!!
2006-11-29 10:59:40 · 15 answers · asked by jamielynn3517@yahoo.com 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
call him on his bullshit
2006-11-29 11:02:49 · answer #1 · answered by ManderAnne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since your divorce is pending, the courts wont be able to help you for this year. So youre best bet is to let him have your son for one of the holidays, your choice, and let it go. Chances are youll get custody once the divorce is final, and state mandated visitation laws will take effect which is usually every other weekend, 2 weeks in the summer and every other holiday and birthday so get use to sharing him at the holidays. You may not like it but the law considers it fair to all parties involved. So try and be civil with your husband as you may need to change things now and then and being friends helps out tremendously. Good luck
2006-11-29 19:09:19 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a bit weird that he had the children all three holidays last year. If you asked him to take care of them last year then he has every right to keep to the court ordered visitation. This is usually sharing holidays. If you didnt ask him last year then it sounds like he is taking advantage of you. The big question is, does he have the backing to uphold his ultimatum? What is the ultimatum? If you didnt ask him to take the kids last year, then I would call his bluff! What can he do? If you did ask him to take the kids last year then do the right thing and let him have one of the holidays. Just because he had them last year (if you requested it) doesn't mean you can manipulate this years schedule. Personally I think it's great that a father is taking the initiative to be with the kids.
2006-11-29 19:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should look to your custody papers to see how holiday parenting time is stated. Unless you are going by the standard order guidelines of parenting time in your state.
If it is in his favor there is nothing you can do. However, if there is a holiday that you normally give him even when it is your parenting time don't give it to him. If he wants to play by the rules only when it is in his favor. Then play by the rules all the time.
If you do not have a parenting time schedule in place you should contact your attorney to get one in place so that issues like this don't come up and make parenting time unfair. Especially when you have a ex that is controlling.
2006-11-29 19:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unfair, but as for now just let him get him for either of the holidays you choose one and let him have the other. Are you saying that you have joint custody and is it written anywhere about the holidays or weekends?.
How do you usually share the custody of your son?
2006-11-29 19:03:34 · answer #5 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best answer to that question is take every other Holliday on even or odd years. Then rotate the following year.... Him Thanksgiving, you Christmas this year, next year you Thanksgiving, him Christmas, etc.....It worked out best for me and my X with our two children. That way no question as to who gets whom and when......
2006-11-29 19:05:44 · answer #6 · answered by Sexy O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you do 50/50 part day for on the holidays. Pick day or night ,that way both of you guys can have them on those special days.
2006-11-29 19:22:28 · answer #7 · answered by melly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds fair...just alternate the holiday in which they last attended
2006-11-29 19:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i like everyone to put thier issues aside and spend the holidays together, this dont always work, so it would say use times. he can do christmas eve and you get christmas day on thanksgiving he cooks turkey at 12 and you cook at 5
2006-11-29 19:03:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
the courts should of set these ground rules in your divorce agreement. but it should be every other holiday and 1 month out of the summer.
2006-11-29 19:03:12 · answer #10 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two need to sit down with your attorney's and set up provisions for your son. Otherwise your ex will continue to make your life miserable and threaten to withhold support, etc. Do it today!
2006-11-29 19:03:06 · answer #11 · answered by ladygwen 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋