my husband and internet porn help!?

Question

I really need some advice from you . Im 19 years old and my husband is 21. Our marriage is okay but he looks at internet porn when i leave the house. Even if we have sex he will still look at it and "pleasure himself". I asked him to not do it, he said he wouldnt. Then i found out he was lying to me about it and I dont know how to get through this. I even tell him that im open to anything he wants to do but it still doesnt help. Should i tell the man that I love to choose between porn or the relationship?

Answer 1

1. This is not such a big issue to select between you and porn !!
2. Hit his EGO. Don't stop him watching porn BUT join him while he is watching porn and start throwing sexy sentences for male who is acting in porn like "Wow, such a big organ....." "Wow, how can one do such good things"............
3.Trust me, he will get scarred that you will look for someone who is like male pornstar !!!
4. ...........trust me he will be all yours in a couple of days !!

Answer 2

This is an addiction and should be treated as such. I would recommend that you ask him to get help immediately. If you like you could seek resources first to see where he can get help. But this is not good. It's one thing to watch a movie with your wife and play together, what he's doing is totally different and not okay. He is an addict with a problem. Listen, I want you to understand something. Do NOT take this personally ok? This isn't about you at all and I'm sure he loves you very much. So please, don't this is because of something you did. Also, don't think that he's a horrible man for this either. He really can't help it and although it hurts and feels weird, try to understand it's like he's an alcoholic, or gambler. He can't stop. So try to get him help. And remember too that he's probably horrified about this too. Hang in there. Find some really good professionals and work on saving your marriage. It can work, trust me, I've got really great friends who went thru this very thing and are doing awesome! You are in my prayers, as is your hubby!

Answer 3

Hi there hun. Hopefully I can be of some help...
My wife and I are both 25 and we have been together for just about 5years, but only just got married in June. In the early years of our relationship Communication was one thing that we -thought- we did well, but found out that we still weren't being as honest with each other as we could have been. Just in the past 2 years, we have opened up to each other soo much that we have become swingers. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not -at all- saying you should take on a swinger mentality.

What I am saying is that in this opening up to each other we found that we both had some inner desires within each of us that we were secretly scared to share with each other. And after some true -honest- communication we came to an agreement about the desires we had. Now, of course, ours was a bit more open of an agreement.

I believe you're husband still has inner desires within him to look at other women naked. That is a VERY natural thing for men, especially after being married. What I believe is you both should try doing is having some open/honest communication with each other about the desire you both may have deep within each of you, and then possibly try sharing in some of those desire together. (For example, you BOTH could masterbate to porn together to see if that helps.)

Hope this idea helps.

Answer 4

No point in telling him to choose. The two of you are young, and you may as well learn now, men look at porn. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it doesn't mean that he isn't attracted to you. It just means he is a normal male. You can either raise a big stink about it and have him sneak and lie to you, or you can accept it as part of him being a guy and go with the flow. He isn't going to sleep with any of these girls, so nothing to worry about their. Check out some porn with him, it could be a lot of fun!

Answer 5

Sounds like an addiction, the thing is addictions take difficulty and time to overcome so you might want to calm down the ultimatum. You know, "join a 12 step group or...(whatever your or is)" or get counseling, or get a book about overcoming porn addiction and read it.

Take your pick, but start there. Also be honest with him about how it effects you. I know how it feels for the wife - feeling cheated on, feeling like it's hard to get into being intimate because you think he's just thinking about other women other than you. Be brutally honest, he'll need it to get any motivation to seek help.

good luck!

Answer 6

Honey- you can be a full fledged pornstar and walk around naked in front of him 90% of the day and he's still going to look at porn...

Honestly, guys are gonna masterbated whether they get it 10 times a year or 10 times a day...it has NOTHING to do with you! When he masturbates, do you actually think he's thinking of you? He's thinking of the hot blonde on the screen (which he'll never get) doing him and screaming, "you're the best! You're the King!" LOL! BUT...he's getting into bed with you everynight, right? AND he's satisfying you and himself, right? (I hope!)

As long as he's not touching someone else, let him go to town! He might actually LEARN something!

Answer 7

Yes, if it has come down to it. I mean, if he is still doing it and lying about it and he knows you don't like it and you have asked him to stop and he said he would and you find out he has not stopped, and it is something that will not/has not changed, and it is something you cannot live with, then make him choose.....maybe he needs a wake up call in order to make him see that you will not stand up for it, and do it, i mean go for it and let him see that he cannot use you and walk all over you. Once reality hits him hopefully he will see the other side of the situation (your side of the story),

Answer 8

Asking him to choose is kind of harsh. He is your husband for better or for worse. If you are open to it, perhaps bring home an "adult" movie and watch it with him, spice up your love life a bit. He isn't looking at these sights because he isn't interested in you, it is just an excitement. However, porn can be as additive as drugs, sometimes it is very difficult to give up! Good Luck

Answer 9

To be honest with you, I've had this issue come up with my boyfriend and I. I threw a fit when he would watch it, because it made me feel like I was incapable of giving him whatever he felt he needed to get from "porn". I let it get to me so bad that I started getting depressed from it, feeling incompetent! When I brought my feelings to him, he also said he wouldn't do it anymore. Then I had caught him, and it made me feel worse. After a couple days of thinking about it and talking to my girlfriends, I came to realize that it wasn't him with the problem, it was me. Guys are naturally more "horny" than girls, so they say, which didn't seem like an excuse for me. So I got the idea one night while laying in bed, I got up, he was watching something on late night t.v. and I popped a porno in the dvd player, he started throwing a fit about HEY I'M WATCHING THAT....i let him throw his fit while the dvd loaded and I left the room. When I came back and walked into the room, he said, what is this a joke...are you really that mad.....and his voice trailed off when he saw a bottle of chocolate syrup in my hand..he said what are you doing....I said since you won't give it up...then I guess we can watch it together because you make me feel like I am missing out...that wasn't the end of his "porno watching" but it let him know that it "bothered me". Now when he puts in a porno....I just tackle him, and he doesn't even throw a glance towards the t.v. because I steal all of his attention. hope I helped...much love ladybug

Answer 10

For one I feel you're too young to be married. Secondly, honey he is a man, all men like sex no matter what age they are. We had that kind of problem here and I nipped it in the butt real quick. I blocked all the porn sites from my fiancee. Now when he needs a fix of porn, we go rent a movie.