Is There A Way To Feel More Secure & Stop Taking What People Say To Me To Heart?

Answer 1

Read the book "intimacy" for "osho" .. i am sure it will help.

Answer 2

Yes, there is a way but it's a skill and takes time to develop - you have to realise that whilst other people can be good sources of guidance and perhaps their perspective does hit the mark with whatever is happening in your life, the opinions of these people are just that, other people's opinions. They cannot define you or shape your behaviour, you alone are responsible for the decisions and actions that you take. So whilst it is good and polite to listen to what other people say, you are the boss of you, and the more you realise that, the less you will be concerned with the ramifications of what other people say and think of you. Are they paying your bills? If it all went wrong in your life, would they be there to pick up the pieces, probably not - people have their own concerns, so concern yourself with your own life and see how that clouds your own judgements - other people can't help but see things through their own eyes, and that is a different view to your own. Maybe you will continue to take everything to heart, but really, you shouldn't, what do they know? They are only people, just like you are a person. The only person who truly knows what your life is about is you, and even you will lie to yourself at times, so I wouldn't take too much on what Gladys down the road thinks!

Answer 3

I understand how you feel; I've done the same thing myself by someone's rude comments and I think I have a very good amount of self-esteem. I have learned when someone says something that bothers me, I can look them in the eye and tell them "you know, it bothers me when you say those negative things and I get my feelings hurt". That puts the burden back on them and an end to their insensitive remarks. It also give you a chance to catch your breath and find out, maybe they didn't mean anything by it, or maybe there is something to what they said. At any rate, you ACTED on it and that is comforting. Try it, honey, I think you could benefit by this technique. In the meantime, give yourself a big pat on the back for this thought provoking question. Godblessya.

Answer 4

Ya it's called developing a thicker skin. in other words look at the source of the comments and really why should you care about what someone who's own existence is so screwed up they have nothing more productive to do then to try and drag you down to were they are stuck. misery loves company. so step over these people and continue to move forward. pretty soon these people will be so far behind you won't be able to hear them anymore anyway.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, everyone feels the same way you do. That is one thing you need to realize. When you look at everyone else and are able to realize that they share the same insecurities and fears as you do, they are no longer so imtimidating. Of course, people handle insecurity all lot of different ways, and some are very good at hiding it. But it IS their. Always. And people are mean, insensitive, and cruel. But that doesn't mean that you have to let them affect your state of mind. No one can make you feel bad about yourself....unless you let them.

Answer 6

Yeah, work on why what they say means so much to you.

Develop your self esteem so that you can learn from what people say, but not let it bring you down or stop you from your potential.

Answer 7

Look in the mirror and say "I love you (your name) and I believe in you." Do this every day, and more often when you feel bad. Eventually you will believe it.

This really worked for me.

Answer 8

Yes, be comfortable in your own skin...you are the only person that can make you feel good about you.

Answer 9

create a tough skin...easier said than done..I am getting better at it though.