My husband cheated on me, what should I do?

Question

We have only been married ten months. We had a fight over something stupid (I don't even rember what) but he went out and got drunk with some friends(who for the record have wanted to do a threesome with him) while he was drunk at their house they planned a way to get him involved and he had sex with the women. I don't know what to do, I cant' afford financially a divorce but my trust is no longer in him. Help

Answer 1

Cheat on him and see how he likes it...or join him with the other girl

Answer 2

I have been in your shoes with the cheating part. You will probably have a hard time trusting him again. But if you decide to stay with him look ahead to rocky roads. How many other fights have you guys had. A separation does not cost anything. It gets more complicated if you have kids. My best bet is look at how he is acting. Does he even act like he cares or is he making excuses for what he did. It is not your fault that he cheated it is his. And a drunk mind speaks a sober mind. This is probably something that has been on his mind for a while. If the fight was over something stupid which would be my guess this was something he started because he wanted this. So, if I was you I would cut my ties. It will be hard no doubt, mostly because he is what you know but do not join him. Once you go down that road you will never be able to go back. And if the thought of him touching someone gives you the creeps it's not for you. Find someone to comfort you and cry. Life will go on but it will be harder on you. Gather those close to you and try not to talk about it. I would separate and give your CLEAR HEAD time to make your own decision.

Answer 3

Oh Gosh...so so sorry that this is happening to you. Are you sure he really actually did? From experience w/ some of my friends, they thought it but when it came down to the truth it really didn't happen, their men just wanted them to think that...why, I haven't a clue other than they are jerks! So many say, once a cheat always a cheat. You certainly will have to weigh your pros and cons. You should never stay w/ someone because of financial reasons though. Perhaps if he is really sincere that he wants your marriage to work, you both can get some counseling. It isn't easy but it can work, you can learn to forgive and forget. *Just make sure you don't get pregnant until this is resolve, too many babies are made in hopes that the marriage will be you closer and many times it doesn't then you have a baby to raise in a broken home. Prayers for you...best wishes and may it all turn out in favor of your best interests at heart.

Answer 4

No excuses. That's not accepted. When you have an argument what man runs off like a Bi***h. A man handles it not go off and do something stupid. You can't accept this . What happens when y'all have another argument he's gonna run off again. If he says it sorry and it's not gonna happen again you need to separate first cause he needs to realize his mistakes and that you will not take him back that easy. Big trust issue. It'll will never be the same. If you stay with him right now it's going to be hell because you will never forget this. Separate first and take time before actually divorcing. Make him pay for it if you do get a divorce. Good Luck girl.

Answer 5

A fight is no reason to go out and have sex with someone else. Neither is getting drunk. If you can't afford a divorce, but you don't trust him anymore, then just move out. Plenty of couples separate but don't get divorced right away, and it's usually for financial reasons. Just make sure that nothing is in both of your names. Or better still, make sure that YOUR name isn't on anything of his (deeds, mortgages, car loans, etc.). You need to sever all financial obligation to his accounts. You can do this before or after you move out, but just make sure that you do it. Then file for divorce whenever you are ready. If he decides to file first, let him. You might be able to plead adultery and the courts may make him pay your legal fees.

Answer 6

I don't know if a marriage of such a short amount of time is worth the effort to save how old are you do you have any children? Is your husband sorry? Did he tel you the truth? Do you think it would happen again? What are these people he is hanging out with?
You said you have no money for a divorce but do you have family and friends if so separation is always an option if you have a friend or family member to crash with or another option is ask him to leave and get a flatmate. I am sorry.

Answer 7

If you want a divorce you can go down to the court house and they will help you file for a divorce. It can be done without costing too much money. And, if he cheated on you you could get a lawyer that doesn't take money until you win. That way you could get some of the things you deserve and worked hard for. And, you would be able to keep your things that you had before you where married. I feel sorry for you that he is so immature that one fight was enough for him to screw around. Get rid of him if he did it once he will do it again. Chin up and fight for what's yours.

Answer 8

Do a trial separation,

take the space you need for now

And tell him you have broken my heart. I don't know if , and or how long it will take to mend it.

I need space and time to deal, but just in case you were wondering what I would do,

If it were me, I'd try to get over it asap, your married now and not just playing house, I do is forever.

Good times and BAD.

It take hard work and discipline and Its not always fun. and absolutely never easy.

But if you love him and think he's worht the effort then do the work,

But make sure you let him know that this is his last get out of jail free card.

It will NEVER happen again.

either from you or him,

He needds to decide if he is willing to do his part and work on his issues. Marriage isn't a game or Eh lets see what happens,.

Its a forever committed to one person. and tough as hell.

So discuss the isses, and try some counseling, it could help both of you.

either way, i think you should try to work it out.

Good luck,

Meg

Answer 9

that's sad cuz u only been married for ten months that should be the honeymoon stage were use can't get enough of each other l think that tells u the answer he cheated on u so early on in the marriage u can forgive him but then u have to live with it. And it ain't worth the heartache in the long run

Answer 10

It's possible to trust again if he is really remorseful, but he'd have to cut his 'friends' off and not associate with them anymore. If he can't do that, then you will be miserable and cause even more grief to the marriage if you stay. He is a selfish man and you can do better. There are always ways of financially surviving if you really wanted to. Hopefully there are no kids involved. Cut your losses now and don't put a pricetag on your precious life. He doesn't deserve another minute of it.

Answer 11

I'm sorry to hear about this. It doesn't matter how drunk he was, the deed was still done, and it's still his fault. Now the ball is in your court. Either you forgive him and he changes his lifestyle and becomes a good husband, or you'll have to dump him. It's not worth all the heartache to be unhappy in a marriage. If he don't change, then you'll know what to do. Either way, I wish you the best of luck. Have a great day........