My husband went to another state for his work, when I was pregnant 3 months ago. He was gone for 5 days. He went with other men from his company/industry. Well the last night they were there, my husband turned his cellular phone off and he did not answer his hotel room phone until about 5am. I stressed out so much, being pregnant too made it even more emotional. To this day he swears he was in his room asleep or passed out whatever. I want to get back at him so bad now. I want to make him feel the way he made me feel. I don't think he cheated, because our realtionship has been good. But who knows? Should I try to forget about it? Or plot to go out with my friends and turn my phone off?? I know it sounds horrible, but I don't like the fact that he got one over on me. Please help. Thanks!!!!
2006-11-29 08:49:33 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also wanted to add that the reason I feel he got one over on me is because what he did was F*CKED UP and he never got any consequences. I would never do that to him......that was the 2nd time he did that to me while I was pregnant. I am not pregnant anymore, but it still bothers me....
2006-11-29 11:12:19 · update #1
I am sorry this happened to you.
However, don't "pay him back", that is childish.
Don't repay bad behavior with more bad behavior.
However, you definitely need to establish a boundary about this incident.
I would suggest you tell him that it can not ever happen again, and if it does, it will have consequences.
Simply state how it made you feel, and then let it go.
There is no use fighting over something that can't be undone.
Good luck!!
2006-11-29 09:23:09 · answer #1 · answered by mskatyj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wrote "Got one over on me" Good luck in your marriage. You are looking to revenge your husband even after he has told you nothing happened and you also feel nothing happened.
Look back on the situation, how many times did you call ? Could it had been so much that he wanted to turn his cell phone off to get some sleep? Why were you calling your husband all night and at 5 am in the morning?
You did not list your age but I am assuming that by the way you are acting that you are young. Once married, you are not attached to the hip and nor do you have to do everything together nor stay in touch 24 hours a day. During the time you were alone, you should have been doing things that normally you would of not had time to do with your husband present. Did you go out with your friends, see your parents, take some down time, get your baby room together, or did you continuously call your husband using his cell phone like a chain on a dog?
Best of luck.
2006-11-29 09:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Or plot to go out with my friends and turn my phone off??"
Then how would you feel when you turn on the phone, you have missed calls from him or the hospital declaring an accident?
I don't know the full reason and I am sure there is one. Whether good or bad.
Either way, getting "back at him" is not going to solve the issue. If this bothers you so much, seek marriage counseling as your relationship is not that "good" as you say as this is beyond just "mad".
It does sound horrible and IT IS horrible. He shouldn't of turned off his cell phone and should of been by the phone incase of emergancy. I do agree.
YET, doing it back to him makes you to not be a good person in the end if you want to hurt people back.
Solve the problem by getting help.
You are speculating he did cheat as there was no reason given for cell to be off and not answer at 5am (as I awake with the phone next to me after many rings that are annoying).
2006-11-29 09:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now how do you see it that he got one over on you..?
You've already made your mind up that he was with someone & sound like you know for sure, yet you don't..
Being early in pregnancy is hard enough, but why beat yourself up more emotionally than you already are ?
Do you really think that you sound like an adult here ? Imagine when that baby is a teenager & turns the phone off..
Why don't you just believe him this once, unless you find hard core facts...
is it possible he may have partied with the guys, drank too much & passed out ? by himself ? possible the phone was dead from lack of being charged ?
I slept thru hurricane Ivan till tress started falling..yet I can hear a whisper 50 feet away...
give yourself a break...
2006-11-29 09:15:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is really wrong here. Not so much with him but with you feeling he "got one over on you"
Any marriage where there is that much distrust cannot be called "good". If it was that good you would not have been stresssed over it in the least. My husband often forgets to turn his phone on, or even off and I have no other reason to think he is cheating so I don't.
The idea of getting back at him is a damaging one and demeaning to the both of you. I would consider either a long talk with some resolution to this issue or some counseling. A really good program is listed below.
In really great marriages one party does not always have to be constantly available to the other. The trust issues are just not that intense. Do your marriage a big favor and work on this part. Good luck, honey.
2006-11-29 09:14:33 · answer #5 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With a pregnant wife at home I would never turn my phone off or ignore incoming phone calls in my room.I wouldn't care how friggin' tired I might have been. I would tell him how it upset it made you and hopefully he will see that.I would also take what he said as the truth unless something else came up that made you think otherwise, but I would still chew his ***!Jeez YOU were the one pregnant.Good luck.
2006-11-29 09:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your relationship has really been good, then you will sit down with him calmly and explain to him how serious of a situation it is that he is unable to be reached, especially with you pregnant. Explain how hurtful and unfair it was to you and that you would not do that to him. Only fair that you get the same respect. Go on to state that if it happens again, maybe you won't be there for him to come home to, and the baby? Make him think about his priorities. Good luck!
2006-11-29 08:56:21 · answer #7 · answered by dtmrrd04 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His actions, thought granted were of bad judgment, were not intent to hurt you.
What you are suggesting is full of malice and revenge. Heaven forbid he make a mistake as a parent you might then tell the kid that he's not the father to get back at him.
You are almost a parent now so I think its time to grow up.
2006-11-29 09:18:12 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive him this time. Put just keep your eyes and ears open for any other signs of cheating. He may have gotten drunk with the boys and fell asleep. Just watch for any other signs. Try and get back what you had and if it was nothing , he will be the great guy you always loved.
2006-11-29 09:00:47 · answer #9 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By "got one over on" you, you mean that he slept through the phone ringing? Wow... I don't get it. How is that "getting one over on you?" You already said you don't think he lied to you or cheated on you. "Get back at him" for what? What did he do that was so bad? Just sleep? Two can play at that game! Go to sleep tonight and call it good.
2006-11-29 09:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋