I have gone to weight watchers with her. I have cooked the meals. Invited her to go for walks, work out and take dance classes with me. She has gained a little over 40 pounds in 4 years of marriage. The weight and lack of activity make her tired all the time. Our sex life hasn't really suffered that much yet. I worry about her health, she had cancer some years ago, but the big problem is I get up in the morning and go to bed at night trying to figure out how to get her to lose weight. I should also mention she is the kindest and best emotionally put together person I have ever met.
2006-11-29 08:18:25 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems that you have more of the problem. No one will lose weght until they are ready to lose it. So even though you have helped her (which is a great thing), if she is not mentally ready to keep her weight off, then nothing you do or nothing she does will work. It's all a mental thing. My husband and I are overweight, he is also a diabetic. I try not to force him on anything. We work out together twice a week with a personal trainer and it has helped him out. I just try and give him the support that he needs. That's all you need to continue to do, give her the support and maybe exercise with her to get her moving. Other than that, if she is a great wife and a great person, you are a blessed man to have her in your life. You need to look at the big picture.
2006-11-29 08:39:14 · answer #1 · answered by Marie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question. My husband and I have similar issues. In the end, I have to say I guess we just have to lump it until they take care of it themselves. On the other hand, there is no reason you can't be vocal when they let their weight, or weight issues, interfere with your social life, or otherwise, as a married couple. My hubby has flunked out of several diets he initiated but that I supported. After a while, it's hard not to worry that it is my fault, so then I go overboard showing support with the next one. The problem is they are only TOO aware of how much they have let, not only themselves down, but their loved ones too. So mentioning it just makes it worse, as hard as that is. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. I feel for you!
2006-11-29 08:45:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this really upset you, maybe it would be a good idea to get help. On the other hand, many women gain a little after birth and have difficulty loosing the extra weigth. It requires alot of exercises depending on the wiegth that person has. It does not take 1 week to loose everything but months ifnecessary. I believe that what you did was good. But she also has to work it out herserlf as well but not only you. Like the dude above me said it. If you are the only person who wants her to healthier but she doesn't care at all, you can't push her. Since you love care about her, don't give up. It takes time. Good luck to your wife.
2006-11-29 08:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by LadyXSakura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be a caring and supportive husband, that loves his wife very much. If you've done all that you can do, and she continues to gain the weight, then, maybe just love her the way she is. It's possible that you put so much effort into trying to get her to lose weight that she is losing self esteem, because she knows that you do not like her that way, that it makes her gain more weight. So you might be doing more harm than good. Try telling her she's beautiful, and just love her.
2006-11-29 08:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have every right to be worried. I have been over 200 lbs for a lot of years and now as I'm 52 years old carrying this weight around sure takes it's toll on me. It's a health thing now instead of the vanity thing it used to be. I get sick easier, get hurt easier and every thing is harder since I carry 100 lbs more than I should be. Unfortunately, the person with the weight problem has to do this herself. Your encouragement after she starts to change her eating habits will be good for her but you trying to get her started could conflict her feelings about it. Good luck and don't obsess about it. She could rebel and do the opposite of what you'd like to see her do. What ever you do don't make fun of her or use sarcasm about it.
2006-11-29 08:33:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
are u more concerned about the way she looks or her health are u embarrassed to be seen with her or are u comfortable? I can understand u worrying regarding her health but if you are only worried because it makes you look bad then you have a problem i see you said she was kind and emotionally put together i would treasure those qualities and stop obsessing about the weight if it bothers her let her decide if she wants to do something about it
2006-11-29 08:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by karen e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is really a good idea that THE TWO OF YOU go to counseling. From experience, it may be some emotional issues that she is dealing with that is making her gain weight. Maybe she has taken on more responsibilities than what she had 4 years ago... Stress... Childbirth??? It could also be health related... you never know.
2006-11-29 08:34:58 · answer #7 · answered by Toya B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems as though you have been very supportive of her in trying to help her lose weight, but you should also ask your wife if she is happy the way she is or if that is the way that she would like to stay. I know if my husband makes even the slightest inclination of me being over weight, I get, not offended really, but hurt that he is not happy with me the way that I am. All that I can suggest is that you continually be supportive of her and try to help her in any way that you can, even if it's not what you want.
Good Luck, and remember with most women this is a very touchy subject, even if we don't show it.
2006-11-29 08:28:15 · answer #8 · answered by mrsdycus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No mental health for you yet...Is allot that can be done, like to see a nutritionist to watch her weight etc...Allot can be done don't just give up easily...Ask doctors good Doctors about the how will be the best way to loose weight for Her...Some times some staff woks for some people and some doesn't work for another ones is not easy...Good luck just keep looking for the best help...
2006-11-29 08:26:18 · answer #9 · answered by nena_en_austin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are loving to want to see her lose weight and worry about her health. What women do not realise is that men are visual creatures. If she lost the weight she would have your undivided attention. Many marriages suffer because one partner lets themself become overweight.There is nothing wrong with you being upset , you should tell her what is on your mind.A therapist wouldnt be such a bad idea.
2006-11-29 08:37:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋