My husband and my relationship is getting very strained...i feel like I married a little boy! HELP!!?

Question

My husband and I got married young 21/23 when I graduated college and while he was still in the Military (both in NY). He had more time off, more friends, but didnt make a lot of money. He decided to get out and wanted us to move back home...to Louisiana. I was not thrilled with the idea since I am a total Yankee. We have been down here for almost 2 years and he has had 2 jobs that involves LOTS of traveling. He love it and makes good money..we have everything we want. But I am in a job I hate, have no friends and am usually the "Yankee" outcast far from home. I only moved down here to be with HIM but spend all my time alone with the dog since he travels 6 months out of the year. I always feel like I'm the one missing him and feel neglected. We've had several talks lately about me needing more attention and thoughtfullness from him, but he still doesnt seem to get it! I'm to the point of going back home. It already feels like we are divorced. I'd rather be with my family,not alone

I've sent him marital websites, posted marital advice on the fridge, and discussed the information with him so he would understand what I need from him. He says he doesnt know what i want from him? But he doesnt want me to leave because he cant live without me. I put up with raising his Lab puppy alone, and forgave the emotional affair he had with an old friend from highschool...but I'm tired of TALKING and TALKING and TALKING to him. I have had so much stress from these situations that i'm now having anxiety attacks at work. I Cant continue like this but I dont want a divorce. Should I try a trial seperation and move back home and quit my job?

Answer 1

Most of did marry little boys! it's up 2u to demand he grow up and be a MAN!

Answer 2

Sorry to hear that. Have you looked into marriage counseling? Also, try and improve the areas of your life outside your marriage - your job, your friends in the community. Get out there and join groups, make some new friends - not people that treat you like an outsider. Perhaps you are unhappy because of all of these things too. It is hard fto relocate, especially if your husband is not going through those adjustments at the same time. You may need more support from your husband but perhaps if you can make other areas of your life better, then your marriage may improve as a result too.

Answer 3

adapt both lives have their perks you can now start drinking before tenAM and not be seen as an alcoholic. make frieds if you're a yank then adapt and become a little bit of a hybrid, how did you make friends in college_ _ _ good do that but change it around a little to fit the situation you're in, invite the neighbors over for dinner or throw a modified keg party just put you're mind to it when it comes right down to it the only reason you don't have friends is because you aren't willing to work for it or you are wanting to be miserable and make that place out to be worse than it really is

Answer 4

I understand how you feel. I suggest you to have one last talk with him. When married, you are suppose to live together. But if he's traveling all the time what's the point of the wedding if he's not even there for you? Tell him that he has to make some sacrifices if he loves you. If he cannot do that for you, it would be time for you to say goodbye !!
goodluck

Answer 5

No person or job is worth the stress and anxiety attacks. Quit your job, move back home and be around family and friends that care about you. Your husband needs to decide who and what he loves more....you or his job. His actions following your move will tell you what you need to know.

Answer 6

Wow, it sounds like your husband is immature and also this whole long distance, being away from home, and him traveling 6 months of the year, it never works out, and trust me, i know from experience!

Answer 7

If you want to stay, you need to find activities and hobbies that will let you meet people. It sounds like your very social, but feeling depressed and alone.

You may need some time off back north.

Answer 8

have you give your new home,job, and try making friends your 100%

If your not happy and he not willing to work this out with you then go back to NY and maybe he will follow and if he don't well you got your answer where your marriage is.

Answer 9

Men, no matter their maturity, will distance themselves if they are treated like children. He already had a Mother, Maybe treating him like a Wife, instead of a scolding Mother will get better results

Answer 10

He says he can't ;live without you, but if he is gone that long (6 months) at a time, he is already living without you. It sounds more like a convience.