Ok so my wife cheated on me i forgave her how should she be treated?

Question

so she cheated i caught her confessing to the guy on a voice recorder.i forgave her but she wasnt allowed to speak to him again.she got caught a month later still talking to him everyday.i checked her phone bill.now im gonna give her one more shot befor i give this guy's wife the recording along with phone records.so if she is serioius this time whaty do you think she should do to make me feel more comfortable with her.and feel like i can trust her again.what things do you think she should have to do.should she be allowed to go to her christmas paty where this guy is probaly gonna be.c'mon world good answers.

Answer 1

Leave her. She's not going to stop. You've already given her too many chances.

Don't go to his wife - just leave her. End of story.

She cheated - you gave her a chance & she ruined it. DONE

Answer 2

You should first feel comfortable with yourself no matter what, what she did and is continuing to do is wrong and should have come to a stop the minute you first found out,but in a way you should have gave her the benefit of the doubt before stooping on her. SHe only is doing what you allow her to do.She'll definitely reap what she sows,so giving the information to the guys wife is a self judgment call. You shouldnt be with no one you cant trust and believe in marriage is a sacred thing I would try to see if you could find out why she started and is continuing to do this maybe counseling will help that's if you want to save your marriage if not you gotta do what's best for you and makes you happy and possibly consider disolving the marriage

Answer 3

Ok you forgave her. Then it was up to her and she messd up again. Maybe the two of you have problems you do not know about. You need to talk to her and see if there are other problems. If you can not discuss your problems that may be the biggest problem you have. It may be the reason she talks to the other guy. Why can't you go to the party with her? Don't ever tell your spouse they can't go somewhere or do something. They will make sure they do it just to show you they can, because you are not their parent. Good Luck Hope it turns out the way you want it to!

Answer 4

She obvisuosly can't let go of him. There is only so much you can do. For instance, you can get her a new phone number or have her call you before and after she goes anywhere, but that is too much work. Whether it is a Christmas party or a cup of coffee at Starbuck, temptation is still present.

You can give the phone records to his wife, but what good is that gonna do? Send her on her way and find new happiness. First time cheat, shame on me(you), second time shame on you(her).

Answer 5

The real question is why are you sticking around? You know that she cheated on you and that she kept on talking to this guy even though you asked her to stop. What you need to do is sit down and ask your self do I really love this woman still and if your answer is yes then you will need to see a marriage councilor both you and your wife. I believe that when you cheat on your spouse and that person forgives you then you should do everything in your power to make that person trust you again. Ask her if she still wants to be in the marriage and if she says yes then ask her why does she feel the need to talk to the man that she cheated on you with even though you asked her not to speak to him again. Remember when your talking to your wife you can not yell nor can you storm out because you don't like the answer she is giving you. I really do think that you both need to speak to a professional marriage councilor.

Answer 6

I think she has chosen him over you already... I know you don't want to hear that, but that's the way it sounds... Now does he chose your wife over his? That is the important question here... If he does then you might as well divorce her and move on... If not, you are still in a mess because when his wife finds out all hell will break loose for him... He may not be in a position to go with either of them... It just don't look good for you no matter what you do... Sorry...

Answer 7

there are several things that needs to happen before u can trust and forgive it, and since she keeps trying to contact him she isn't done with it yet. do u honesly think giving the records to the man's wife will do any good? if it is going to be this hard, and if u have reason to think u can't trust, and if it doesn't mean anything to her that u forgave her than she certinly does take u for granite.she should be doing everything she know's to earn your trust again, she should be thankful u forgave her, but you know what she isn't.

Answer 8

Treat her like she never cheated on you. Give her the same respect that she deserves as your wife. You still got to have that trust. I know it's hard when the guy is still around. Why don't you go to the Christmas party with her.

Answer 9

Well good for you for trying to make it work even when she is acting like a jerk. You are well within your rights to restrict her as much as you need to to make yourself feel alright. She has to be willing to give you as much access and information as you need. I would make sure the guy knows you will tell his wife if he keeps talking to yours. Maybe one of them will have some sense.

Anyhow, you do what you need to do to be alright with this. If she really wants the marriage to work she should be willing to work with you to rebuild the trust. It can take a long time and it is hard on everyone, but it can be worth it if you can air out your problems and get some communication going.

Answer 10

Treat her like the whore she is !!! Divorce her because she's going to keep sleeping with other men if not the same guy. Why aren't you going to the x-mas party to make sure she doesn't bang the guy some more ? You just sound like a really gullible person. Get a clue !!!

Answer 11

Your question implies that you want to save your marriage, but it also sounds like you believe your wife should do all the "fixing". I think your question should be "what should WE be doing to make our relationship more secure for both of us?"...if she went looking somewhere else for something she felt she was not getting in her marriage, it's important to find out what she was looking for so that you can work together on having those needs fulfilled within your marriage. Often infidelity is actually a "cry for help" within a relationship; it is imperative now more than ever to work together on building a stronger marriage. A friend of mine puts it this way: "I hold my wife's hand so that nobody else can..."