is it wrong to have feelings for another women, when you are married and happy?

Answer 1

Yes.

Answer 2

There's some very good advice in many of these responses. Feelings 'happen', we have little choice about that, but we have lots of choices about what we do with those feelings. Three people are - potentially - involved in the situation you describe. Anything you do as a result of these 'feelings' will have consequences for all three. Take a while to think through what these consequences might be for all three of you. If you have feelings for someone, and you are happily married, you should be concerned for the continuing happiness of those two people as much as you are for yourself (or more so).

You might also ask yourself 'do I have sufficient information?'. Do you need more time to 'find out what's going on (inside you). Do you really know anything about this person you have feelings for? Be realistic about how this person might feel about you - particularly if you are older. But if you decide to take more time to think about things remember you have just made a CHOICE, and there are consequences for every choice you make.

If you have a good marriage and are happy my advice would be to 'stay safe'. It's worth thinking about 'where these feelings come from' and 'what will I do with them' (because it will probably happen again). One strategy is to 'turn' the feelings into something 'safe'. Is it possible to move the feelings back toward your wife, or to change the feelings for the person by changing the relationship with them - by bringing them into your - and your wife's - social circle. If they are singe do you have some friends they could 'hook up with'. Playing friend and matchmaker can be as satisfying as being a lover - and a lot less stressful than being a lovelorn fool. Another approach mentioned elsewhere here is to put 'more distance' between you and the person who is triggering these feelings.

But, every now and then (and this is much more true if your marriage is not as 'happy' as you suggest) something wonderful happens, but it arrives disguised as an 'impossible situation'. Everything I've said above remains valid, but if you have looked at the risks and decided to go 'down that path', then at least try always to do 'as least harm' as possible, and to wherever possible bear the hurt and the cost yourself because you are the one making the choice. It is possible to act ethically and honourably while doing a dishonourable thing. Some people will never forgive you, but you might be able to live with yourself if you have done your best to act caringly and unselfishly.

Answer 3

Depends on where those feelings emanate from. For example something 'new' comes along and bends over at the local barbecue, the sausages on the grill will not be the only thing sizzling. But If you always had feelings for 'another' women before you were married, then as a human being you have nothing to be concerned about it and just to be on the safe side see a psychotherapist for counselling or your wife if you are willing to take the risk.

Answer 4

No it is not wrong to have feelings for another woman when you are married, no one is prefect just don't let those feeling over come you. once you start treating you can never stop and then your happy life goes down to the dogs

Try new things with your wife to take your mind off the other woman, buy sexy clothes for your wife, change her hair styles to make her face look different or change sex position. if any of these doesn't work all i can say is pray about it god will help

Answer 5

Don't be silly, people. You can not control your feelings. Most feelings are not right or wrong, they just are feelings. Sometimes attraction is just a pheromone/genome thing that needs time to simmer down. A jolt of serotonin is quite a powerful thing...
NOT to give you a bio-excuse!!!
What you can control is your actions and what you do about those feelings. Personally, I would try to find out why I am having those feelings and then address whatever issues may or may not be behind them.. Always keep to the front of your mind that you have made a commitment to one person and you need to respect and honor that commitment. If the feelings do not eventually subside, you will need to distance yourself from that person to break the serotonin/ oxytonin cycle that seems to be getting triggered here!

Answer 6

It's not wrong to have feelings for another woman, just that your husband would probably be very shocked. Obviously you must have bi-sexual tendencies which have not come to light until now, maybe nobody has rocked your boat before this woman came along.
Feel sorry for you, if your thinking of putting this happy marriage on the line.Think very hard and fast.Good luck.

Answer 7

have feelings, just don't do anything about them!
if you did and your wife found out, what is your life going to be like then?
She would either chuck you out or forgive and but not forget, you will have to live with the hurt you caused her for a very long time! Could you do this?
This is what most men/women do, they act on their feelings and feck up many lives, the partner, children, both sides of the family, the lover and themselves!
Ain't worth it if you are happy as you are!

Answer 8

no. sexual charm is an uncontrollable ingredient that usually takes a carry on you. its even if you're able to logically ask your self, do i see a destiny with both people? do i think content fabric? does she fulfill me? love is rather different kind sexual charm and regularly many get them perplexed. kind the seems of what you wrote you experience to blame because you've been intimate and close with your ex-spouse and probable nonetheless have emotions-no matter how buried or distorted- for her. yet you've got here upon someone extra powerful, and your guilt appears to be like stemming from the very incontrovertible fact that you got here upon the hot women people too quickly and are nonetheless replacing to a international the position you at the instantaneous are not married on your lengthy time period ex-spouse. 22 years is almost 1 / 4 of a century! my propose to you ought to be to understand that happiness is major and that you do deserve it. in spite of the indisputable fact that that's too quickly so do not get too over excited with the hot women people, that's then extra probable this is going to crash and burn. slowly and gradually construct upon the charm you've for her and end evaluating HER on your EX-spouse. that too may be the problem, because she isn't nor will she ever be your ex spouse.

Answer 9

You are human. There are 6 billion plus other humans on this planet. I think it's pretty naive to think you wouldn't develop feelings for someone else.

What you do about those feelings is where you can get into trouble. If you act on them, anticipate that your marriage will end. No matter how forgiving your spouse is, cheating ends marriages.

You need to talk to your spouse. Get the feelings out in the open. And you need to let the feelings run their course. Understand that it will take time, and you will want to act on urges, but if you believe in your marriage, you will find something to distract you from the urges.

Answer 10

no its not wrong but obviously you are misleading yourself on the happiness part of it.

it becomes wrong if you act on it, a mental affair can sometimes be more dangerous than the real thing so becareful the grass is not always greener. be wise you know your partner and all there flaws and good points remember this and all will be well do not risk anything on someone you only know a little bit.

you have grown to know your partner over time.

Answer 11

I think that you must have reservations about your marriage and that it can't be that happy.........if it was, you would not be having feelings about someone else. I'm not saying that you are aware of problems in your marriage on a conscious level but if you look hard enough you will see the cracks. Sorry to be so blunt but this answer comes from experience