My bf and i are thinking of getting married and he gave me papers to sign regarding the marriage?I do not fully understand everything that is in this contract. I am obligated to produce evidence that i can have children. ?Among other strange request including how often we have sex per week, and the allowance i get per week.If i divorce him i owe him money?Is this legal?Should i get a lawyer? How do you negociate a pre-nup anyone ever signed one?
2006-11-29 07:19:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It also says i would not get any money unless i was married to him for 15 yrs or more?
2006-11-29 07:19:47 · update #1
That's ridiculous. He already sounds controlling.
He just wants an excuse to boss you around and if you say no you won't do something, he'll say, "I have it written on paper... remember the one you signed??"
I never heard of something so foolish.
DON'T SIGN IT.
And by the way, that's not negotiating and compromising.
THAT'S JUST DEMANDING.
2006-11-29 07:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a prenuptial contract and so you definitely need a lawyer. My husband and I had a prenup done and I was so very glad I had a lawyer look over it because she helped negotiate making sure that I get at least half the house. He is a farmer and wanted to protect what was his which I thought and still think is perfectly understandable.
Now let's talk about the control in this document. If you signed this, not only are you signing a prenup, you are signing away your freedom to choose in the relationship. An allowance! How often you have sex! You will owe HIM money! No lawyer worth any salt would allow you to sign that.
2006-11-29 15:40:12 · answer #2 · answered by whitneysmother 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely have someone watching out for your side. This all sounds like a one sided pre- nup. Is there anything in there about when he becomes a jerk while you are pregnant that he owes you money. From the sound of this I would make absolutely sure this is the guy for you befor I went threw with any signing or marriage!!!!!!!
2006-11-29 15:24:26 · answer #3 · answered by mommy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're having a pre-nup drawn up, you need to get a laywer. Yes, it's expensive, but it's worth it. Don't sign anything until your lawyer looks it over. Also, you need to know that every state has certain laws pertaining to divorce, re. how the money and property get split up - so one can't just state that the other person isn't getting anything.
I personally thing your b/f is a practical joker. If this isn't a joke, find yourself someone else to marry.
2006-11-29 15:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please call an attorney asap. Your attorney will explain the details to you in a manner that will better help you decide if you are willing to compromise. I will assume their is a large amount of money involved here. Regarding the number of times to have sex per week. That sounds pretty crazy. You have to ask yourself if you are compromising your values and self respect. Marriage is for life. What if one week you don't feel like having sex, are you going to be penalized for not performing? In my opinion a wealthy person may need a pre-nup to protect their monetary assets...this pre-nup sound very personal and intimate. Tell him to keep it business, not your personal sex life. Call the attorney!
2006-11-29 15:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by ParisCharleston 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he wants evidence that you can have children, you are gonna have to have one before you get married. and the amount of sex per week should be modified to how may orgasms he gives you per round of sex, if you sign it....yes it is legal. so don't sign it. get a lawyer. and make sure you include how many times he has to take you out to dinner, your allowance does NOT include a spending account for fine clothes, groceries, health maintenance (spa, manicures, salon fees and tips). for each child the allowance is doubled, a nanny is provided, future cosmetic adjustments are also not included in the allowance and considered a maintenance supplement. he has to come home at 5:00pm every day mon-fri. he is not allowed to work on weekends or hang out with his friends. he is to be a loving father and adoring husband. he will change diapers, give the children their baths, read them bedtime stories, sing along all the songs in each and every disney movie, he will dress up as a corresponding character to his child holloween choice of customes each and every year. he will play santa every year including sliding down the chimney, he will never gain a beer gut, never lose any hair. will have the urge to have sex you anytime you say so, rub your feet and suck on your toes, eat anything you make.......i could keep going for hours on this one....
2006-11-29 15:43:26 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing can kill romance faster than the word prenup. But with about one in three of all first marriages ending in divorce, and 50 percent of second or third ones hitting the skids, a prenup is smart financial planning, legal and financial experts say. But judging by your question it seem to me that your boyfriend does not have slightest ides about it and is just immature.
2006-11-29 15:28:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would reconsider this marriage if I were you. Why would you want to marry someone who can pull out your signed contract and point to your failures (failures are inevitable in a relationship) and throw you out because of them?? Is he going to produce evidence that HE is able to have children? What are you going to put in the papers you want HIM to sign? It is a ridiculous power play for him to ask you to sign a contract, unless he is going to agree to whatever silly demands you can think up, as well.
2006-11-29 15:23:18 · answer #8 · answered by surlygurl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sure sounds one sided to me, what do you get out of it if he is not able to produce children? he is not in the mood or able to have sex as often as you wish? and if he leaves you how much do you get, I think you need your own lawyer, and do not sign the dam thing until you have consulted YOUR own lawyer, do not take any ones elses word for it, If it is not written down then it is like it never was discussed. this man seems hung up on what he wants if you marry him. make good and sure it is in writing what you expect want and need, leave no loose ends
2006-11-29 15:36:17 · answer #9 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Jesus Christ...what has marriage become? A contract. Thats sad. In fact...downright terrible and tragic. Of course...anything the low life pimps of the legal world can get a fast buck from they'll do.
I'm glad I never had to go through this. At least my wife and I still retain our dignity.
2006-11-29 15:31:12 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋