How do you know when It's over?

Question

My husband and I have been having trouble lately. We both love each other but fight for stupid reasons. I hear a difference in his voice when he talks to me now. How do I know for sure when to call it quits? We've been together for 10 years and I don't know If I could start over without him!

Answer 1

You ask "how do I know WHEN to call it quits" as if you assume it's inevitable. Instead ask, "What do I need to do to work this out before it gets worse?" The same way you would with a sibling or another family member. You want it to work because they are your family, and you should view your husband the same way. With a few rare exceptions, divorce shouldn't even be a consideration. I don't hear anything in what you've said to indicate yours is one of those rare exceptions.

Answer 2

It aint over yet. He is upset with you and resents something you have done or doing? Maybe try to talk to him about it, if not maybe tell him that the two of you should seperate for a while, but make sure that you tell him that you don't want a divorce, just seperate and that each should commit not to mess around with anyone else. This time is just to sort things out.
Go a couple of days and nights without contact should help each of you decide how you feel. Don't put a time limit on it, just say lets not communicate a while. That way you don't have definate deadline to make it to.
If you both really want to make things work out, it will work out. If you both still love each other, it will work out. Pride is a killer, so don't let that ruin your relationship.
Anyways, that's what I'm in the middle of myself. We both have established that we want to work things out, just haven't figured out how to yet.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

I'm assuming you still love him very much. The key to relatioships is being open and honest with each other. If you think the marriage is having trouble then talk to him about it, talk to him about your concerns. There obviously is more to the story than you're telling us but try to work it out. Talk to him, get his perspective and work on it as a couple. You're married and obviously want the relationship to last as long as possible. Tell him why you think the marriage is hitting the rocky shores and just be honest with him. If you end up getting a divorce, at least you won't regret not being honest and expressing how you feel.

Answer 4

"Fight for stupid reasons" happens to most couples eventually. And it happens in the 5-10 years of marriage part the most. Why? Mortgage, mid-way through careers, children, realizing you ain't a teenager anymore etc. This is the most stressful time in most marriages and if "fight for stupid reasons" is the worst (i.e. no alcoholism, cheating, hitting, etc) you've got you are far from over.
Without going into a long drawn out reason why you should go to counselling......get yourselves into counselling.

Answer 5

When respect is gone, love is gone. I suspect that you will know in your heart if it is truly over. Yes, you can start over. I did at 41 and am very happy now where I was depressed and anxious over a very bad 18-year marriage before. It enabled me to make myself over and start with a new man - a whole new existence. New house, new car, new man, new body, new hobbies, new town, etc...

Answer 6

You may be feeling something in your gut. But it took 2 to commit to marriage, and it will take 2 to dissolve it. Let him know what you're feeling, and get to the bottom of things before even attempting to consider ANYTHING! :)

Answer 7

When he trys to make love to you and you feel like puking. ITS OVER

Answer 8

if you are really unhappy-belive me you will be better off with out him and then you will see that you will get over him just fine.

Answer 9

its usually over before you know it

Answer 10

Trust me, you will know when it is over.